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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
 Posted - 05/01/2002 : 21:31:51
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I just finished watching 48 Hrs. on CBS, there was a segment about the towers in NY and what they might build there as a memorial.
One guy they interviewed said maybe there should be something like the Viet Nam wall there, with all the names of the victims because for many that is their final resting place, and the relatives would want to visit on birthdays, etc.
Not too long ago my room mate asked me why I've never gone to my parents graves. I didn't know what to say. I was thinking though, it's not that important to me and probably a waste of time. I don't see any purpose in doing things like that.
So the question is, am I alone in those feelings? Why do people have a need to visit a grave of someone they used to know?
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Mespo_man
Skeptic Friend
USA
312 Posts |
 Posted - 05/02/2002 : 05:58:35 [Permalink]
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I can't remember the source of this info, but it has been said that for most people, within 3 generations of your death, no one will remember who you were or where you were buried.
My parents got around the problem rather neatly. When they died, both were cremated, their ashes scattered and the life insurance money that WOULD have been spent on a grave and headstone went into a backyard pool for the grand kids. A small memorial plaque was attached to the pool.
"If you are having fun, so are we."
Grandma and Grandpa Miller.
It is way beyond the emotional capacity of most people to bury loved ones and just walk away. Although I personally don't subscribe to cemetaries and headstones, I understand the need for a suitable memorial. I have several friends on "The Wall" and visiting the Vietnam Memorial was a very therapeutic and cleansing event.
There are almost 3,000 victims of 911 with nothing to show for it. Yes, there will be a memorial built. The victims families want and need to "see" their loved ones, even if it's only a name on a wall. Since I now have classmates who disappeared in the Towers, when the memorial is built, I'll be there as well.
(:raig |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 05/06/2002 : 13:28:02 [Permalink]
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quote:
I can't remember the source of this info, but it has been said that for most people, within 3 generations of your death, no one will remember who you were or where you were buried.
My parents got around the problem rather neatly. When they died, both were cremated, their ashes scattered and the life insurance money that WOULD have been spent on a grave and headstone went into a backyard pool for the grand kids. A small memorial plaque was attached to the pool.
"If you are having fun, so are we."
Grandma and Grandpa Miller.
It is way beyond the emotional capacity of most people to bury loved ones and just walk away. Although I personally don't subscribe to cemetaries and headstones, I understand the need for a suitable memorial. I have several friends on "The Wall" and visiting the Vietnam Memorial was a very therapeutic and cleansing event.
There are almost 3,000 victims of 911 with nothing to show for it. Yes, there will be a memorial built. The victims families want and need to "see" their loved ones, even if it's only a name on a wall. Since I now have classmates who disappeared in the Towers, when the memorial is built, I'll be there as well.
(:raig
Monuments are ok, I like history and think it's important to remember. I was just asking why going to grave yards on birthdays, etc., was significant.
I've also been avoiding deciding what to do about my own dimise although leaning toward cremation. I liked your story about what your parents did. Thank you.
I've looked at the Vietnam Memorial on line, it brings back memories. But that's historical. Politicaly emotional. I still don't understand about mourning ( or should I say grieving) over an individual human once they are gone.
* * * * * *
*Carabao forever.
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Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease
to be amused. |
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James
SFN Regular
USA
754 Posts |
Posted - 05/06/2002 : 14:14:43 [Permalink]
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quote:
I still don't understand about mourning (or should I say grieving) over an individual human once they are gone.
Some say that people don't die as long as we remember them.
Who says you have to go on the person's birthday? My family does every grave in my family, that's within the Twin Cities area, on or around Memorial Day. MTL gonna have good weather, you can visit everyone at once and you can plan for it years down the road because Memorial Day is a national day off.
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Two more years...Two more years...Two more years...Two more years...Two more years...
*whine*
Edited by - James on 05/06/2002 14:15:33 |
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chee
New Member
USA
35 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2002 : 11:08:11 [Permalink]
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Where I hail from, we still have churchyard cemeteries and each church has a Decoration Day once a year. Family members come to lay flowers on graves, stand around the cemetery gossiping and getting reacquainted, and retiring to someone's home to eat potluck. It's a social event more than anything. So are funerals. Always seemed strange to me. Personally, I like what my brother's family did with him. Cremated and put into a beautiful glass and ceramic container that became part of a centerpiece in their dining room. His friends produced a video of clips and pics they had of him and gave each of us a copy. Would much rather watch it than go talk to a tombstone when I start missing him. My sister's husband was also cremated. He's in two carved wooden boxes (too big a guy to fit in one) that sit on the piano in his music studio. It was where he loved to be most when alive. Personally, I would prefer just to be scattered off the top of Ram's Head in the New River Gorge. Can't imagine a better
place to end up.
A colder place I've never known, than with someone but yet alone. |
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