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Orpheus
Skeptic Friend
92 Posts |
 Posted - 07/27/2001 : 09:56:14
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Here's a thought: With the (at least) marginal success of feminism in western society, why is it that more women do not approach men FIRST (assuming heterosexuality) in the age-old dating game? Why are men still expected to be the "hunters" in this little drama? Do women not see this as yet another way of emancipation from the damsel in distress roles their mothers taught them? Or is the possiblity of rejection too frightening? Or am I just moving in the wrong circles?
Thoughts?
Find your own damned answers!
Edited by - orpheus on 07/27/2001 09:57:25
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Lisa
SFN Regular
USA
1223 Posts |
 Posted - 07/27/2001 : 10:29:01 [Permalink]
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Orpheus, even though I'm looong past my dating days, I've wondered this myself. Back in the days of yore, my Mom wouldn't even let me chip a little something into a stone tablet to send to a guy. She said it would look "trampy".
The teenage girls next door seem to have no problem calling guys. Guess those of my generation were stuffed into a social norm by our parents. You didn't know my Mom, but trust me, it was easier to go along.
Lisa
Chaos...Confusion...Destruction...My Work Here Is Done |
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@tomic
Administrator
USA
4607 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2001 : 19:42:07 [Permalink]
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It really depends on many factors.
1. The area you live in and what is acceptable there.
2. The individual - This is the important factor. Some women will defy the norms just because that's the way they are regardless of what others think as long as they think it's OK. As far as I'm concerned, these are the women I would rather have ask me out anyway 
@tomic
Gravity, not just a good idea...it's the law! |
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Boron10
Religion Moderator
USA
1266 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2001 : 21:21:02 [Permalink]
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As a single guy, I am quite disturbed that more women don't hit on me. It used to happen all the time in high school, but once I got to college they all stopped for some reason. I (of course) refuse to believe it is because I have become less attractive, but I honestly have no good reason for this reversal of fortune.
I am afraid I'm not clever enough to come up with a good signature, eh? |
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@tomic
Administrator
USA
4607 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2001 : 21:22:23 [Permalink]
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Have you tried bathing occasionally 
@tomic
Gravity, not just a good idea...it's the law! |
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Boron10
Religion Moderator
USA
1266 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2001 : 21:38:09 [Permalink]
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 Dang! It is me!
I am afraid I'm not clever enough to come up with a good signature, eh? |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2001 : 00:46:51 [Permalink]
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quote:
Here's a thought: With the (at least) marginal success of feminism in western society, why is it that more women do not approach men FIRST (assuming heterosexuality) in the age-old dating game? Why are men still expected to be the "hunters" in this little drama? Do women not see this as yet another way of emancipation from the damsel in distress roles their mothers taught them? Or is the possiblity of rejection too frightening? Or am I just moving in the wrong circles?
Thoughts?
Or is the possiblity of rejection too frightening? <=That's my answer-in some cases. Depends on the situation, but I have other factors in my case. Among them are that I like younger men and you never know how they are going to react, so I guess it does come back to the fear.
ps. Are you taking applications? Anyone out there between 20-40ish. Black hair, best if very long. About 5'10 - 6'. Must be a NON Smoker everything else is negotiable. |
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Wendy
SFN Regular
USA
614 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2001 : 17:23:51 [Permalink]
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[quote]
Here's a thought: With the (at least) marginal success of feminism in western society, why is it that more women do not approach men FIRST (assuming heterosexuality) in the age-old dating game? Why are men still expected to be the "hunters" in this little drama?
[quote]
I think men are still the hunter's because men enjoy hunting. How many women do you see out in the woods looking for Bambi's mother? Most of us don't like it. Don't get me wrong, I want to be able to call a guy if I like him and not have him think I'm a freak or a slut. I want equal rights, but men are still men, and women are still women. Some things are just primal. Sex is one of them.
I do divorces for a living. Lots of soon to be ex-husbands confess to me that the chase is the best part.
Wendy Jones |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2001 : 19:27:36 [Permalink]
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quote:
Some things are just primal. Sex is one of them.
Sorry Wendy, but IMO, I don't think that's correct.
quote:
I do divorces for a living. Lots of soon to be ex-husbands confess to me that the chase is the best part.
Wendy Jones
BEST PART, hell it's the only part worth anything. Marriage SUCKS. Fooling around during marriage is what makes it fun too, heh, he.
VHEMT |
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@tomic
Administrator
USA
4607 Posts |
Posted - 07/30/2001 : 19:43:41 [Permalink]
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quote:
I do divorces for a living. Lots of soon to be ex-husbands confess to me that the chase is the best part.
Considering that you do divorces for a living, have you considered that your views might be skewed? I mean, isn't it possible that you are hearing this because those that are more likely to be divorced have this view? One could go to a stock car race and hear guys talk about how cool stock car racing is and conclude that all men love stock car racing.
@tomic
Gravity, not just a good idea...it's the law! |
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tergiversant
Skeptic Friend
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2001 : 14:57:42 [Permalink]
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quote:
quote:
Some things are just primal. Sex is one of them.
Sorry Wendy, but IMO, I don't think that's correct.
Nope, Wendy is right on. Female choice and male-male competition are well-verified aspects of modern sexual selection theory in evolutionary biology.
"Females tend to be the choosier sex when it comes to selecting a mate, partly because males can produce millions of sperm, whereas females' eggs are few and far between. Thus, females may be more selective because they have more invested in each gamete and in the resulting offspring. And because the availability of eggs is a limiting factor in reproductive success, males tend to compete for female attention and not vice versa."
-Lee Alan Dugatkin and Jean-Guy J. Godin
How Females Choose Their Mates
(SciAm April 1998 article)
"Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione."
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@tomic
Administrator
USA
4607 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2001 : 15:29:05 [Permalink]
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While that is basically true, I am glad that many people somehow rise above basic evolutionary urges, if only occasionally.
@tomic
Gravity, not just a good idea...it's the law! |
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tergiversant
Skeptic Friend
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2001 : 16:19:08 [Permalink]
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quote:
While that is basically true, I am glad that many people somehow rise above basic evolutionary urges, if only occasionally.
Me too. Thank the blessed Luther for condoms!
"Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione."
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2001 : 20:18:39 [Permalink]
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quote:
Nope, Wendy is right on. Female choice and male-male competition are well-verified aspects of modern sexual selection theory in evolutionary biology.
"Females tend to be the choosier sex when it comes to selecting a mate, partly because males can produce millions of sperm, whereas females' eggs are few and far between. Thus, females may be more selective because they have more invested in each gamete and in the resulting offspring. And because the availability of eggs is a limiting factor in reproductive success, males tend to compete for female attention and not vice versa."
-Lee Alan Dugatkin and Jean-Guy J. Godin
How Females Choose Their Mates
(SciAm April 1998 article)
I do not agree. It might be true for some. And whoever that Lee guy is, he needs to do some more research.
VHEMT |
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ljbrs
SFN Regular
USA
842 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2001 : 21:45:30 [Permalink]
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I always selected the men (without their being aware of it, of course). I am now a widow, but I have had a perfectly wonderful life. My selecting was subtle. I dated men who had a lot of knowledge and intelligence and who liked to carry on conversations on practically any subject. I never dated male chauvinists more than once. Male chauvinists can be real trouble in any relationship and deserve to remain single.
I think that most men select their mates badly. Be yourself and the women will select you. They might not be your first choices, but make certain that you are their first choices. I guarantee you will have success. Just let the women let you know that they like you. Of course, if you are some idiot male chauvinist, then you will get what you deserve in women. Any woman who is stupid enough to date a male chauvinist more than once should have her head examined (for being a masochist).
ljbrs
Perfection Is a State of Growth... |
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Snake
SFN Addict
USA
2511 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2001 : 22:39:44 [Permalink]
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quote:
I always selected the men (without their being aware of it, of course). I am now a widow, but I have had a perfectly wonderful life. My selecting was subtle. I dated men who had a lot of knowledge and intelligence and who liked to carry on conversations on practically any subject. I never dated male chauvinists more than once. Male chauvinists can be real trouble in any relationship and deserve to remain single.
ljbrs
Whooa! That's a little too intellectual for me. Women like to analyze things too much. Long black hair, over 5'7 or 5'8'', and I'm good with that. I never expected to be with a guy all that long anyway. Size counts, and that's IT.
VHEMT |
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