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Dave W.
Info Junkie

USA
26012 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2004 :  19:25:10  Show Profile  Visit Dave W.'s Homepage Send Dave W. a Private Message
Okay, go to Rotten Tomatoes, and find a movie with an average rating of less than 1 out of 10. Up in the "Critics Tomatometer" is where you'll find the average ratings listed for each movie. Tarzan, the Ape Man, for example, got a 1.5/10 rating.

I honestly do not know if there are any movies which reviewed so badly as to get a rating lower than 1/10. I didn't look at very many of them. On the tricky side, I don't know if there's a way to list the movies in order of average rating, or to search 'em based on rating. Hehehehe.

And, to help even more with the "humor" side of things, find the funniest quotes from reviews that you can. From the same example movie, above, we find this gem:
"Nice to look at, but dear Lord..."
The funnier the better, but I'm only handing out a cookie for the rating part of this challenge.

- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too.

H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2004 :  20:17:12   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message
A good challenge. While I was unable to find a film meriting a 1 or lower average rating, my search did uncover several screen gems. Including...

Mariah Carey's first foyer into film Glitter received a mere 5 fresh tomatoes out of a total of 74, yet still manages an average rating of 2.8.

My favorite summary reviews: "It's just an intentional hoot, sabotaged by clunky direction, a screenplay so awful it feels as though there are no vowels, and Carey's inability to recite a line of it."
-- Gregory Weinkauf, NEW TIMES

And: "Glitter, the kind of movie only 11-year-old girls who dot their i's with hearts would find bearable, is filled with unintentionally humorous moments that tower over any comedy released this year."
-- Rene Rodriguez, MIAMI HERALD


Sticking with the musical theme, our next film is From Justin to Kelly featuring American Idol's first year's winner and runner up, which recieved a mere 5 fresh reviews out of a 57, yet still maintains an average of 2.8

Favorite review: "Some people wait a lifetime for a turkey like this -- and for them,'From Justin to Kelly' will provide a holiday feast. ...a spectacularly wretched musical melodrama."
-- James Sanford, KALAMAZOO GAZETTE


Trying to scrape the bottom of the barrel, the much maligned Gigli received only 10 good reviews out of a whopping 139, yet still maintains an average of 2.8. It seems just a few paid stooges submitting reviews is enough to throw off the average of even the worst movies.

Favorite review: "Imagine a movie made up entirely of Deleted Scenes..."
-- Collin Souter, EFILMCRITIC.COM


Ok, so I figured everyone could get on board and pan the movie brought to us by followers of Scientology, right? Yet Battlefield Earth still managed an average of 2.4 by snagging 4 fresh tomatoes out of 95.

Favorite review: "The plot depends on the most ludicrous decisions and senseless actions ever made by a thinking race."
-- Sean Axmaker, SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER


The lowest rated movie I could find was Baby Geniuses with an average of 1.8. It received no favorable reviews out of ten.

Favorite reviews: "..absolute cinematic torture; a maniacal insult to the foundation that humanity is made upon..."
-- David Keyes, CINEMAPHILE.ORG

And this simple summary: "I'm still clawing out my eyes."
-- Oz, HOLLYWOOD BITCHSLAP


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
Edited by - H. Humbert on 09/19/2004 20:23:23
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Dave W.
Info Junkie

USA
26012 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2004 :  20:25:45   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Dave W.'s Homepage Send Dave W. a Private Message
You're not trying very hard. The Patriot only got a 1.3 average, zero fresh out of six.

Hint: there is a way to list only the movies which got zero fresh reviews, but that's no guarantee of an ultra-low average. I forget which movie I noticed, but it got an average of 4.8 or something with no fresh tomatoes.

- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too.
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2004 :  21:06:35   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
Hint: there is a way to list only the movies which got zero fresh reviews, but that's no guarantee of an ultra-low average. I forget which movie I noticed, but it got an average of 4.8 or something with no fresh tomatoes.



Thanks for the hint, that helped a lot. I noticed that about the average as well--0 "fresh" reviews can still have a fairly high overall score.

Ok, I found the lowest average score yet: 1.1 for Caddyshack 2.

I'll keep looking, but this is going to be tough.

P.S. How do you make it so you can link url's under just a name rather than the whole address? I always end up posting the whole link and doing the [/url] thing. I like your way better.


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
Edited by - H. Humbert on 09/19/2004 21:07:15
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 09/19/2004 :  21:17:57   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message
Ha! I did it! 0.7 for Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice.


I had a hunch it would end up being a sequel. Whew. Damn I wanted that cookie. Now we're square.

P.S. I figured out the link thingy by looking at yours. See? I can be logical when I try. It just isn't ever my first instinct.


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
Edited by - H. Humbert on 09/19/2004 21:36:30
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Dave W.
Info Junkie

USA
26012 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2004 :  08:33:38   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Dave W.'s Homepage Send Dave W. a Private Message
Excellent! Both on figuring out the URL tags, and on finding an 0.7! You'll find your cookie on your hard drive.

Surprisingly, Plan 9 from Outer Space netted a 4.1, so claims that it is recognized as the "worst movie ever" are clearly false.

My wife suggested Hard Rock Zombies as probably having a very low rating, but unfortunately it hasn't been reviewed enough to get a score at all. She also suggested Microwave Massacre, but it also lacks enough reviews for the Tomatometer (though one of the reviews is fresh).

More Winners...

Police Academy 6 - City Under Siege - 0.9 - "A walking, talking billboard for mandatory euthanasia."

Wagons East! - 0.7 - "The loss of John Candy is made all the more poignant because "Wagons East!" is the last film he completed. It is possible he never appeared in a worse one."

By the way, has anyone else noticed that the majority of the truly bad films appear to be either comedies or slasher flicks? I have a feeling this is due to the fact that it is difficult to do either genre right.

Some more wonderful review lines...

Burn Hollywood Burn - "a film more noteworthy for its title's lack of commas than for any other asset"

In the Army Now - "Not even as good as Bio-Dome, and I never thought I would ever say that in my life."

Oscar - "When you're looking to remake French cinema, the name 'Stallone' leaps immediately to mind. As in, 'for God's sake, don't cast Sylvester Stallone!'"

Highlander 2: The Quickening - "It would be best if we all just agree amongst ourselves that this movie never happened."

Mannequin Two - On the Move - "Mannequin 2 is so bad that you'd easily accept my supposition that the film was in fact directed by three spiders, a goat, and a dedicated gust of wind."

- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too.
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend

Sweden
9677 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2004 :  09:08:18   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Dr. Mabuse an ICQ Message Send Dr. Mabuse a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
Highlander 2: The Quickening[/i] - "It would be best if we all just agree amongst ourselves that this movie never happened."

Important notice to everyone who liked Highlander:
Do never, ever, consider watching Highlander 2, The Quickening.
Not in a million years.


If you absolutely have to watch a Highlander sequel, jump straight to Highlander 3.

Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3

"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse

Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder.
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Dave W.
Info Junkie

USA
26012 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2004 :  09:47:14   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Dave W.'s Homepage Send Dave W. a Private Message
As many people have noted, Mab, there should be only one. If I'm not mistaken, every sequel to Highlander has been routinely panned. And the reviewers are right to do so, as the first movie really ended the story.

- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too.
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astropin
SFN Regular

USA
970 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2004 :  10:54:48   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send astropin a Private Message
How about the worst review you can find for what you consider to be a GREAT film.

Here's a couple on Gladiator: "It's almost like [Scott]'s trying as hard as he can to make the worst movie of all time."
-- Chuck Rudolph, MATINEE MAGAZINE

"There's something Jerry Springeresque about Gladiator."
-- Christopher Null, FILMCRITIC.COM

And on The Last Samuri: "Little more than a longer, less violent and more pretentious version of 'Kill Bill.' The difference, of course, is that 'Kill Bill' was meant to be a goof."
-- Peter Sobczynski, CRITIC DOCTOR







I would rather face a cold reality than delude myself with comforting fantasies.

You are free to believe what you want to believe and I am free to ridicule you for it.

Atheism:
The result of an unbiased and rational search for the truth.

Infinitus est numerus stultorum
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Dave W.
Info Junkie

USA
26012 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2004 :  12:26:09   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Dave W.'s Homepage Send Dave W. a Private Message
Here's why normal folks shouldn't get to vote on these things. The IMDB has a nice chart of the Bottom 100 films. Not one of the movies in the entire IMDB rates less than 1 out of 10. In fact, the #1 lowest-rated film got a 1.2 weighted average.

Actually, it turns out that the IMDB's lowest possible score is 1, so the scale doesn't match Rotten Tomato's (obviously) 0 to 10 scale. A 1.2, "translated" to match RT, is actually just 0.22, a very pathetic score. However, there are other differences.

Children of the Corn II - RT: 0.7 - IMDB: 3.2 (or 2.44 RT)
Police Academy 6 - RT: 0.9 - IMDB: 2.7 (or 1.89 RT)
Wagons East! - RT: 0.7 - IMDB: 3.8 (or 3.11 RT)

Wagons East! isn't even on IMDB's Bottom 100.

astropin wrote:
quote:
How about the worst review you can find for what you consider to be a GREAT film.
What I consider to be a great film? How about I just stick with what most of the critics consider to be great films?

L.A. Confidential - "It's the story of good white actors stranded, in the name of noir, in a movie that refuses to kick into gear until it's far too late."

Crud, my Internet connection is flaking out. More later.

Oh, and another challenge: find the movie(s) rated closest to a 10 at Rotten Tomatoes.

- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too.
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Cuneiformist
The Imperfectionist

USA
4954 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2004 :  16:33:09   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Cuneiformist a Private Message
Though a fan of bad horror films, I still understand that most people think that such films are, well, bad. Thus, I was surprised so see the the Friday the 13th series getting average ratings in the mid 2's. Still, witness this great quote RE part 5:

"The worst Jason story, but the best nudity of the entire series!"

I found a few horrible films that didn't get enough reviews to be rated. But for anyone who's endured even five minutes of Repossessed knows that is has to rate near zero!

As for good films, a quick search found two in the 9's-- both The Godfather (duh) and Last Pciture Show earned 100% good reviews with scores of 9.1. No doubt there are higher scores than these, no?

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astropin
SFN Regular

USA
970 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2004 :  22:08:54   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send astropin a Private Message
The Rules of the Game (1939) = 9.6
Citizen Kane = 9.3

I would rather face a cold reality than delude myself with comforting fantasies.

You are free to believe what you want to believe and I am free to ridicule you for it.

Atheism:
The result of an unbiased and rational search for the truth.

Infinitus est numerus stultorum
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astropin
SFN Regular

USA
970 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2004 :  22:12:30   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send astropin a Private Message
What "horror films" (without looking) one actually being a SEQUAL! scored 100% with 8.9 & 8.8 respectively?

I would rather face a cold reality than delude myself with comforting fantasies.

You are free to believe what you want to believe and I am free to ridicule you for it.

Atheism:
The result of an unbiased and rational search for the truth.

Infinitus est numerus stultorum
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend

Sweden
9677 Posts

Posted - 09/20/2004 :  22:15:08   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Dr. Mabuse an ICQ Message Send Dr. Mabuse a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by astropin

How about the worst review you can find for what you consider to be a GREAT film.


A few of my favourites:

Starship Trooper:
"In the hands of Verhoeven, the mammoth sci-fi battle flick is one of the most astonishingly bad films ever made, a monument to inept filmmaking on a colossal scale."
-- Edward Johnson-Ott, NUVO NEWSWEEKLY

Star Wars:
"None of these characters has any depth, and they're all treated like the fanciful props and settings!"
-- Jonathan Rosenbaum, CHICAGO READER

The Village:
"Every village needs an idiot -- and M. Night Shyamalan is hoping it's you."
-- Staci Layne Wilson, HORROR.COM

The Fifth Element:
"An overblown cosmic comic book."
-- Susan Wloszczyna, USA TODAY

Pulp Fiction:
"Time and again, grisly melodrama is played against mundane chitchat--which seems to endorse violence as just another way of shooting the breeze."
-- Marc Vincenti, PALO ALTO WEEKLY

The Matrix:
"It's astonishing that so much money, talent, technical expertise and visual imagination can be put in the service of something so stupid."
-- Bob Graham, SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE


... there are more of course, but I could end up stitting here all day.

Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3

"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse

Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder.
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Dave W.
Info Junkie

USA
26012 Posts

Posted - 09/21/2004 :  06:06:16   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Dave W.'s Homepage Send Dave W. a Private Message
astropin wrote:
quote:
What "horror films" (without looking) one actually being a SEQUAL! scored 100% with 8.9 & 8.8 respectively?
Aliens has gotta be the sequel.

[Goes and checks...]

Yup.

- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too.
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie

USA
4826 Posts

Posted - 09/21/2004 :  07:41:31   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Valiant Dancer's Homepage Send Valiant Dancer a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.

Excellent! Both on figuring out the URL tags, and on finding an 0.7! You'll find your cookie on your hard drive.

Surprisingly, Plan 9 from Outer Space netted a 4.1, so claims that it is recognized as the "worst movie ever" are clearly false.

My wife suggested Hard Rock Zombies as probably having a very low rating, but unfortunately it hasn't been reviewed enough to get a score at all. She also suggested Microwave Massacre, but it also lacks enough reviews for the Tomatometer (though one of the reviews is fresh).

More Winners...

Police Academy 6 - City Under Siege - 0.9 - "A walking, talking billboard for mandatory euthanasia."

Wagons East! - 0.7 - "The loss of John Candy is made all the more poignant because "Wagons East!" is the last film he completed. It is possible he never appeared in a worse one."

By the way, has anyone else noticed that the majority of the truly bad films appear to be either comedies or slasher flicks? I have a feeling this is due to the fact that it is difficult to do either genre right.

Some more wonderful review lines...

Burn Hollywood Burn - "a film more noteworthy for its title's lack of commas than for any other asset"

In the Army Now - "Not even as good as Bio-Dome, and I never thought I would ever say that in my life."

Oscar - "When you're looking to remake French cinema, the name 'Stallone' leaps immediately to mind. As in, 'for God's sake, don't cast Sylvester Stallone!'"

Highlander 2: The Quickening - "It would be best if we all just agree amongst ourselves that this movie never happened."

Mannequin Two - On the Move - "Mannequin 2 is so bad that you'd easily accept my supposition that the film was in fact directed by three spiders, a goat, and a dedicated gust of wind."



Now, see, I liked Oscar. I thought it was absurdly funny.

One that they have which hasn't been reviewed enough was The Class of Nuke Em High. Any time the National Honor Society turns into a violent pot-pushing gang, you've got a winner. I watched this movie all the way through. Not because I liked it, but more like people slow down and stare at a bad car accident out of a morbid sense of curiosity.


Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils

Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion
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