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Wendy
SFN Regular
USA
614 Posts |
 Posted - 12/23/2004 : 14:00:30 [Permalink]
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| For those with an interest, here are some Wacky Patents and Gadgets. |
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz
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R.Wreck
SFN Regular
USA
1191 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 14:28:11 [Permalink]
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quote:
Wendy wrote:
For those with an interest, here are some Wacky Patents and Gadgets.
I'll bet those Easter tomb pendants just fly off the shelves. |
The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibliities of knowledge.
T. H. Huxley
The Cattle Prod of Enlightened Compassion
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 15:19:00 [Permalink]
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A Thug-O-Matic machine. For a nominal instalation fee and a modest monthly payment, this device will reroute all spam to Thugs Inc., which will send a representitive or two to the spammer to 'discuss' the matter.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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Wendy
SFN Regular
USA
614 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 15:45:53 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by R.Wreck
I'll bet those Easter tomb pendants just fly off the shelves.
You know they do!  Personally I like the Head Napkin. Très sheik!  |
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz
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Siberia
SFN Addict
Brazil
2322 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 16:52:04 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by filthy
A Thug-O-Matic machine. For a nominal instalation fee and a modest monthly payment, this device will reroute all spam to Thugs Inc., which will send a representitive or two to the spammer to 'discuss' the matter.
I'll order two, please. |
"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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Espritch
Skeptic Friend
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 22:15:55 [Permalink]
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quote:
How 'bout an unbreakable bullshit detector? Since Bush took office, mine keeps overloading.
The little light would never go off. 
How about a cure for fundamentalism?
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Plyss
Skeptic Friend
Netherlands
231 Posts |
Posted - 12/24/2004 : 00:29:16 [Permalink]
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A device that changes stupidity into vast amounts of money.
Oh wait, people beat me to that  |
Miss Tick sniffed. 'You could say this piece of advice is pricesless', she said. 'Are you listening?'
'Yes' said Tiffany.
'Good now...If you trust in yourself.."
'Yes..?'
'..and believe in your dreams...'
'yes?'
'...and follow your star..' Miss Tick went on.
'Yes?'
'You'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy. Goodbye.' |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/24/2004 : 01:10:34 [Permalink]
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quote:
How about a cure for fundamentalism?
Great idea! We could call it the 'Cluebat', and no sane person should be without one. It could come in various grades and weights, from light foam ones for the relitivly harmless fundies to the 'Falwell Model', the top on the line. That would be a stout piece of seasoned oak cored with depleted uranium, and inlayed in mother-of-pearl with the following:
"Every idea of the Holy Scriptures, from the first to the last page, stands in diametrical opposition to the Darwinian theory.... If Darwin be right in his view of the development of man out of a brutal condition, then the Bible teaching in regard to man is utterly annihilated." -- Dr. Schund
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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R.Wreck
SFN Regular
USA
1191 Posts |
Posted - 12/24/2004 : 10:25:09 [Permalink]
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| A shopping cart that will detect when it has not been returned to the "cart corral", then proceed to find the lazy SOB who last used it, and repeatedly bash itself into the side of their car until it looks like a bad piece of publicly funded modern art. |
The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibliities of knowledge.
T. H. Huxley
The Cattle Prod of Enlightened Compassion
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Wendy
SFN Regular
USA
614 Posts |
Posted - 12/24/2004 : 12:42:16 [Permalink]
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Kudos, R.Wreck for the vengeful shopping cart idea. I just returned from Wal~Mart where the laziness of people and lack of common courtesy never cease to amaze me.
My husband suggests packaging foam like Fix-A-Flat®. You just spray a little in the bottom of a box, put in whatever you want to mail Aunt Edna for Christmas, then spray the rest of the box full, close it up and stick it in the mail.
No more broken items, and no more annoying Styrofoam® peanuts! |
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/24/2004 : 13:44:05 [Permalink]
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quote:
My husband suggests packaging foam like Fix-A-Flat®. You just spray a little in the bottom of a box, put in whatever you want to mail Aunt Edna for Christmas, then spray the rest of the box full, close it up and stick it in the mail.
There are already some aerosols that will do exactly that. They're used in construction to spray insulation into small crevices such as around window framing. spray it in and as it cures, it swells porously to fit the crevice.
Neat idea. Send Aunt Edna a utility knife with her present. Keep her busy and out of trouble for a while. 
(Fishin' tip: when using whole but not live bait such as finger mullet or shad, stuff a portion of styrofoam peanut in it. This will keep it off the bottom.)
Y'all uptown folks'll appreciate this'un: A car alarm that won't go off except when the heap's actually being tampered with.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/24/2004 : 13:51:24 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Wendy
quote:
Originally posted by R.Wreck
I'll bet those Easter tomb pendants just fly off the shelves.
You know they do! Personally I like the Head Napkin. Très sheik!
I have a question concerning the head napkin: How the hell is someone going to aim a rifle or even a shotgun wearing that?! 
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26020 Posts |
Posted - 12/24/2004 : 18:49:15 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Wendy
My husband suggests packaging foam like Fix-A-Flat®. You just spray a little in the bottom of a box, put in whatever you want to mail Aunt Edna for Christmas, then spray the rest of the box full, close it up and stick it in the mail.
No more broken items, and no more annoying Styrofoam® peanuts!
We've already got precisely that stuff. You spray it into big plastic bags, so as to avoid filling the cracks and crevices of whatever it is you want to ship. See Sealed Air Corporation's Instapak® Foam Packaging. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/25/2004 : 02:59:42 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
quote:
Originally posted by Wendy
My husband suggests packaging foam like Fix-A-Flat®. You just spray a little in the bottom of a box, put in whatever you want to mail Aunt Edna for Christmas, then spray the rest of the box full, close it up and stick it in the mail.
No more broken items, and no more annoying Styrofoam® peanuts!
We've already got precisely that stuff. You spray it into big plastic bags, so as to avoid filling the cracks and crevices of whatever it is you want to ship. See Sealed Air Corporation's Instapak® Foam Packaging.
I've never heard of it. The plastic bags is a good idea. Sending the present packed without the bags could be reserved for relatives whom you loath and despise, but must be civil to in order to maintain peace in your household.
A deep-fry oil that tastes as good as bacon grease, but is actually healthy enough for you that you should eat at the fried chicken shacks and seafood joints at least a couple of times a week.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Wendy
SFN Regular
USA
614 Posts |
Posted - 12/25/2004 : 07:55:48 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
We've already got precisely that stuff. You spray it into big plastic bags, so as to avoid filling the cracks and crevices of whatever it is you want to ship. See Sealed Air Corporation's Instapak® Foam Packaging.
I told him. He says that just means his ideas are more marketable than mine. He also had an idea about fifteen years ago for a moisture sensor for windshields that automatically runs windshield wipers at the ideal speed for any weather condition. That's been done now too.
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Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz
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