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 A Chris'mas Carol...
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filthy
SFN Die Hard

USA
14408 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2005 :  14:27:29  Show Profile Send filthy a Private Message
As we have All noted, some Few of the more Obnoxious Adherents to Fundamentalist Christianity have ushered forth Strident Statements that They and only They have the proper Perspective on this Season; this time of the Year when the days are Shortest. In pursuit of Securing this Preposterous Claim, they have Girded their figurative Loins with their all-too-real Vocal Chords for an Engagement against such Secular and Generic Greetings as “Happy Holidays.” They Vow to Smite and Confuse the Unbelieving Infidel and those others who Believe but would Celebrate in Manners and Methods that might not precisely Coincide with their particular Views on the Subject.

They have put forth a great deal of Rhetoric dedicated to their Cause, but have mounted their Holy and Noisy Attack upon, well, in fact, Nothing of actual Moment. But We are further Informed that, as We all rather Suspected, there is a tidy bit of Lucre to be acquired from selling Weaponry for this figurative Latter-Day Crusade to aspiring Christian Soldiers. These consist of fulminous Literature, inscribed Pens and Cups, silk-screened Tee Shirts, and other such Folderol. So, it might appear that the Motives of the loudest might not be altogether of the Finest Water.

Like the Winter Solstice, This is an annual Event. Unlike the Solstice, it's all a Dull Scene brought about by Dismal People.

They have this Huge and Contrary Problem, you see, and they know it: their ‘Enemy' is Nonexistent and that ‘Enemy' is Everywhere, and few beyond themselves and a Smattering of other, Blithering Twits with Microphones much care if a Nativity Scene is cluttering up Town Hall or not.

One might suppose that there are some Misbalanced Few who could become Dismayed and even Traumatized if Sears or Penny's, or even Greasy Eddie's Diner leaves the Christ out of a Window Display, but most do not pay even the least of Heed beyond the Pretty Lights. Of course, we all become Fascinated and indeed, Mesmerized if there is a toy Electric Train in it.

It cannot be firmly Documented, but there is little Doubt that our very ancient Ancestors in the Northern Hemisphere observed the passing of the Seasons and knew Perfectly Well of the Changes in Daylight Hours, even as they failed to understand the Process, or the Workings of a Timepiece. As Summer waned into Autumn, they gathered their Staples for the onset of Winter Hardships, and, knowing that in Due Course the Sun would return to it's place on High, celebrated the Days when it again began it's Ascent. This was Very Long before Christianity was even a faint glimmer in the eye of the monotheistic followers of a Monstrous Deity (in that deity‘s Defense, it might be noted that it is little Different from most others in it‘s Paranoia, Xenophobia and Capriciousness).

The Winter Solstice, a difficult Time in the Year when the Climate is not Gentle, was and is a Season when Families and Clans and Tribes and yes, Populations share their Bounty with one another and look forward to the Lengthening of the Days as an ever-strengthening Harbinger of Better Times to Come.

There are not a few Children born in September and Thereabouts that were Conceived during the Solstice of the previous Winter. Indeed, it is said that The Christ, Jesus himself, was born in that Auspicious Month, although Some say that it was in June or July, or mayhap January -- the Exact Method(s) by which this is calculated has Escaped us, and perhaps is Beyond our Ken in any Event.

The Church, ever nimble in it's Quest for Converts, not to mention their Wealth, and Authority over as many as possible, Converted or Otherwise, adopted this natural Moment of Planetary Positioning and it's Pagan Tradition of Celebration and Sharing into it's Dogma as the time of birth for their Version of the Son of God, cleverly allowing their newly acquired Faithful to keep their original Pagan Celebration, albeit a bit Bastardized.

They even gave it a Name: Christ's Mass.

It is N

"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres


"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude

Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,

and Crypto-Communist!


Edited by - filthy on 12/21/2005 14:32:44

Kil
Evil Skeptic

USA
13462 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2005 :  18:25:12   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Kil's Homepage  Send Kil an AOL message  Send Kil a Yahoo! Message Send Kil a Private Message
Well filthy, that was just great. Thanks!

Uncertainty may make you uncomfortable. Certainty makes you ridiculous.

Why not question something for a change?

Genetic Literacy Project
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R.Wreck
SFN Regular

USA
1191 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2005 :  20:12:55   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send R.Wreck a Private Message
Ramen, brother filthy, ramen!

And a happy, merry, whatever floats your boat to you too!

(Damn, what was in that mason jar?)

The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibliities of knowledge.
T. H. Huxley

The Cattle Prod of Enlightened Compassion
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NubiWan
Skeptic Friend

USA
424 Posts

Posted - 12/23/2005 :  12:21:32   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send NubiWan a Private Message
At risk of being expelled, i'ld like to wish all ya infidels a joyous, mirth filled, merry christmas...

The night of December 25, to which date the Nativity of Christ was ultimately assigned, was exactly that of the birth of the Persian savior Mithra, who, as an incarnation of eternal light, was born the night of the winter solstice (then dated December 25) at midnight, the instant of the turn of the year from increasing darkness to light. ~ Joseph Campbell, in The Mythic Image

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moakley
SFN Regular

USA
1884 Posts

Posted - 12/23/2005 :  15:45:10   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send moakley a Private Message
I agree with Kil. Well done filthy. I wonder if the Charlotte Observer would print this.

Life is good

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. -Anonymous
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Dude
SFN Die Hard

USA
6891 Posts

Posted - 12/23/2005 :  21:24:53   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Dude a Private Message
Nice!


Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
-- Thomas Jefferson

"god :: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument." - G. Carlin

Hope, n.
The handmaiden of desperation; the opiate of despair; the illegible signpost on the road to perdition. ~~ da filth
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Siberia
SFN Addict

Brazil
2322 Posts

Posted - 12/24/2005 :  06:06:20   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Siberia's Homepage  Send Siberia an AOL message  Send Siberia a Yahoo! Message Send Siberia a Private Message
Ramen indeed, brother F! May the force be with you, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster, too!

That was grand.

"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa

"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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filthy
SFN Die Hard

USA
14408 Posts

Posted - 12/24/2005 :  06:19:55   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send filthy a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by moakley

I agree with Kil. Well done filthy. I wonder if the Charlotte Observer would print this.

As far as I'm concerned, anything I post here is in the Public Domain. If I put up something that I hold the copywrite on, I will say so.

Many thanks for the kind comments. It took an hour to write and a week to polish.




"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres


"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude

Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,

and Crypto-Communist!

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Kil
Evil Skeptic

USA
13462 Posts

Posted - 12/24/2005 :  11:05:36   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Kil's Homepage  Send Kil an AOL message  Send Kil a Yahoo! Message Send Kil a Private Message
quote:
filthy:
As far as I'm concerned, anything I post here is in the Public Domain.

I did copy it and sent it to a few on my email list as my Christmas card for this year. I gave you full credit and included the SFN copyright and a link…

Uncertainty may make you uncomfortable. Certainty makes you ridiculous.

Why not question something for a change?

Genetic Literacy Project
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filthy
SFN Die Hard

USA
14408 Posts

Posted - 12/24/2005 :  13:58:03   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send filthy a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Kil

quote:
filthy:
As far as I'm concerned, anything I post here is in the Public Domain.

I did copy it and sent it to a few on my email list as my Christmas card for this year. I gave you full credit and included the SFN copyright and a link…


I feel rather flattered. A warm thank you is in order and I express the hope that your friends enjoy it.....




"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres


"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude

Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,

and Crypto-Communist!

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astropin
SFN Regular

USA
970 Posts

Posted - 12/24/2005 :  18:20:47   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send astropin a Private Message
Beautifull filthy!

I would rather face a cold reality than delude myself with comforting fantasies.

You are free to believe what you want to believe and I am free to ridicule you for it.

Atheism:
The result of an unbiased and rational search for the truth.

Infinitus est numerus stultorum
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UncleJ
New Member

41 Posts

Posted - 12/24/2005 :  18:35:26   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send UncleJ a Private Message
Great filthy!

I scared my kids when I sang (it was my voice, not the words)

Hope you all have a good whatever you feel like celebrating!

"The Church says the Earth is flat. But I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow on the Moon. And I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church." - F. Magellan

"I can't be a missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus!" - H. Simpson
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