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 Tut's penis: Missing since 1968, found at last!
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 06/23/2006 :  06:43:07  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
At the bottom of this page at Archaeology.com, there is the following comforting revelation:
quote:
Speaking of icons, it seems the most recent examination of King Tut has resolved one of the questions that has been burning on the minds of Tut aficionados for years, namely: where is his penis? It was present when he was discovered in 1922, but a 1968 X-ray study of Tut's mummy failed to turn it up, leading to speculation it was stolen. Never fear, says Zahi Hawass, Tut's member is no longer MIA. It was found lying loose in the sand the body was resting on, detached from Tut, but still intact.
(I hate when that happens.) No mention of whether it was glued back in place.


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.

Edited by - HalfMooner on 06/23/2006 06:43:47

pleco
SFN Addict

USA
2996 Posts

Posted - 06/23/2006 :  06:44:45   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit pleco's Homepage Send pleco a Private Message
Detachable Penis - catchy song from the mid '90s...

quote:
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

by Filthy
The neo-con methane machine will soon be running at full fart.
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 06/23/2006 :  06:49:23   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
pleco. I'm astonished that you had those song lyrics ready for posting a scant minute and a half after I posted the message! How did you do that?


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie

USA
4826 Posts

Posted - 06/23/2006 :  07:47:17   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Valiant Dancer's Homepage Send Valiant Dancer a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by HalfMooner

At the bottom of this page at Archaeology.com, there is the following comforting revelation:
quote:
Speaking of icons, it seems the most recent examination of King Tut has resolved one of the questions that has been burning on the minds of Tut aficionados for years, namely: where is his penis? It was present when he was discovered in 1922, but a 1968 X-ray study of Tut's mummy failed to turn it up, leading to speculation it was stolen. Never fear, says Zahi Hawass, Tut's member is no longer MIA. It was found lying loose in the sand the body was resting on, detached from Tut, but still intact.
(I hate when that happens.) No mention of whether it was glued back in place.





There's actually an Osirian myth that it mirrors. One big diff, is that Osiris never got his back. It was eaten by a crocodile.

Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils

Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion
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Siberia
SFN Addict

Brazil
2322 Posts

Posted - 06/23/2006 :  08:12:00   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Siberia's Homepage  Send Siberia an AOL message  Send Siberia a Yahoo! Message Send Siberia a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Valiant Dancer

quote:
Originally posted by HalfMooner

At the bottom of this page at Archaeology.com, there is the following comforting revelation:
quote:
Speaking of icons, it seems the most recent examination of King Tut has resolved one of the questions that has been burning on the minds of Tut aficionados for years, namely: where is his penis? It was present when he was discovered in 1922, but a 1968 X-ray study of Tut's mummy failed to turn it up, leading to speculation it was stolen. Never fear, says Zahi Hawass, Tut's member is no longer MIA. It was found lying loose in the sand the body was resting on, detached from Tut, but still intact.
(I hate when that happens.) No mention of whether it was glued back in place.





There's actually an Osirian myth that it mirrors. One big diff, is that Osiris never got his back. It was eaten by a crocodile.


Now that must suck. I bet Isis wasn't happy.

"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa

"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie

USA
4826 Posts

Posted - 06/23/2006 :  13:07:17   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Valiant Dancer's Homepage Send Valiant Dancer a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Siberia

quote:
Originally posted by Valiant Dancer

quote:
Originally posted by HalfMooner

At the bottom of this page at Archaeology.com, there is the following comforting revelation:
quote:
Speaking of icons, it seems the most recent examination of King Tut has resolved one of the questions that has been burning on the minds of Tut aficionados for years, namely: where is his penis? It was present when he was discovered in 1922, but a 1968 X-ray study of Tut's mummy failed to turn it up, leading to speculation it was stolen. Never fear, says Zahi Hawass, Tut's member is no longer MIA. It was found lying loose in the sand the body was resting on, detached from Tut, but still intact.
(I hate when that happens.) No mention of whether it was glued back in place.





There's actually an Osirian myth that it mirrors. One big diff, is that Osiris never got his back. It was eaten by a crocodile.


Now that must suck. I bet Isis wasn't happy.



No, she wasn't. But she still used magic to produce children by him after it happened.

Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils

Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion
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pleco
SFN Addict

USA
2996 Posts

Posted - 06/23/2006 :  15:19:25   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit pleco's Homepage Send pleco a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by HalfMooner

pleco. I'm astonished that you had those song lyrics ready for posting a scant minute and a half after I posted the message! How did you do that?





As with all things that aren't understood or seem very complex, the standard answer is "magic" or "god did it."

In this case, god is google, combined with good timing.

by Filthy
The neo-con methane machine will soon be running at full fart.
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard

USA
4907 Posts

Posted - 06/23/2006 :  17:54:52   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Ricky an AOL message Send Ricky a Private Message
My mother always said I would lose my head if it wasn't screwed on. I had no idea she was talking about that head.

Why continue? Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand who hug their superstitions to their breast.
- Isaac Asimov
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Pernicious
New Member

35 Posts

Posted - 07/03/2006 :  21:24:40   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Pernicious a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by pleco

Detachable Penis - catchy song from the mid '90s...

quote:
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.





King Missle! I played a show where we opened for them, several years ago. Fun group.


If I was the Supreme Being, I wouldn't muck about with butterflies and dandelions, I'd start with lasers, eight o'clock, Day One!
-Time Bandits
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JohnOAS
SFN Regular

Australia
800 Posts

Posted - 07/03/2006 :  21:58:34   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit JohnOAS's Homepage Send JohnOAS a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Pernicious
King Missle! I played a show where we opened for them, several years ago. Fun group.



I have the album, "Mystcial Shit". Not terribly musical, but there are quite a few gems on there, I remember "Jesus Was Way Cool" and "Take Stuff from work" were particularly laugh-worthy.

John's just this guy, you know.
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