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15831 Posts

Posted - 12/24/2006 :  23:17:51  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
North Korea launches ICBM at NYC, US knocks
down target, President calls it "a state of war"

Fort Greely, Alaska, December 25, 2006 (MP) -- The North Korean (DPRK) military last night launched a "Taepo Dong-3" ICBM missile in a north-easterly direction. Soon after launch, the US missile detection system briefly lost contact with the missile over the Sea of Japan, but reacquired the target a few minutes later. The target was by then over the Arctic Ocean north of Alaska, and traveling at hypersonic speed in a straight line toward New York City.

Missile interceptor launches from Ft. Greely, Alaska.

The USAF's GMD (Ground-based Midcourse Defense) at Fort Greely, Alaska was authorized and commanded to intercept the object, using newly-operational Boeing interceptor missiles tipped with Raytheon Exoatmospheric Kill Vehicles. Two GMD interceptors were launched, and the target disappeared from X-band radar screens a few minutes later. The USAF, Boeing, and Raytheon officials proudly hailed the successful interception as the first real, operational use of the anti-ICBM defense missile system.

President announces war.

A grim-faced President Bush appeared on National television this morning, broadcasting from a secure, undisclosed location:

"My fellow Americans, I speak to you this Christmas morning with solemn concern, and resolve, for America.

"Last night, North Korea launched an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile toward New York City. Efforts are now underway by our military to recover and study the missile payload, to determine the type of weapon of mass destruction that was fired at New York. This attempted attack was an unprovoked act of war by the North Korean dictatorship.

"As Commander-in-Chief, I must tell you that the United States is now in a state war with North Korea. I have called for a joint session of Congress, and I will ask for a formal declaration of war. I have meantime declared a national security emergency, and I have re-instituted the military draft. I have ordered that five million conscripts be added to the military within six months.

"The United States will submit a resolution to the United Nations Security Council to declare North Korea to have broken the Korean armistice of 1953, thus requiring military action by the UN member nations against North Korea's rogue regime.

"America will be victorious. May God bless and protect America on this holy day."

Japanese fishing boat reported sunk by meteorite

A typical Japanese fishing vessel.

Sapporo, Japan, December 26, 2006 (NYT) -- Radio reports from other fishing boats say that a small fishing trawler was struck by a meteoric fireball and sank [early December 25, US Eastern time zone]. The Japanese vessel, Oni Maru, had been operating in the western part of the Sea of Japan. Reports say the crew was recovered by nearby vessels. The Oni Maru had a crew of five.

Christmas a disaster for children everywhere

An inconsolable child.

Chicago, Illinois, December 25, 2006 (HNS) -- All around the world, the plaintive howls and cries of children could be heard today. Unlike any Christmas in recorded history, this time not a single gift appeared beneath any Christmas tree, or in any stocking. Not even coals were delivered.

A looter makes off on a stolen bicycle.

The World Health Organization called for an international conference of pediatric psychiatrists and psychologists to draft solutions for the mass disappointment of children. In many global cities, huge throngs of toddlers and preteens, chanting "No Santa, no peace!" massed and looted toy stores. Outgoing UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan has called for calm.

Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.

Edited by - HalfMooner on 12/25/2006 04:22:16

SFN Regular

1888 Posts

Posted - 12/25/2006 :  10:34:45   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send moakley a Private Message
Everytime I hear anything about North Korea I find myself laughing. Not due to anything related to current events, but due to the an Onion headline, "N. Korea Detonates 40 Years Of GDP". How ridiculous is that.

Life is good

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. -Anonymous
Edited by - moakley on 12/25/2006 10:35:24
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15831 Posts

Posted - 12/25/2006 :  11:38:53   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
I liked the Onion piece where Kim got a huge war-robot body.

North Korea is such a strange place, you can even see the strangeness with Google Earth. I've spent many hours looking at the place, shaking my head over the almost empty freeways, the abandoned, unfinished skyscraper, the mansions with private golf courses, the gulags, the gigantic monuments and statues, the bizarre underground construction projects, the paratroopers jumping from biplanes, and on and on. It's both disturbing and mind-boggling.

Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.
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