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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 01/04/2007 : 20:16:54
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Americans for Separation of Science and State hail "Great progress in last six years"
Washington, DC, January 4, 2007 (WT) -- The nation's most powerful lobby working to keep science out of government is happy with its progress, but warns that "many battles remain."
"We have controlled the Beast of Science to some degree, but as long as any science remains in our sacred government, dangers exist. President Bush has been a great ally, but even his power over the dark forces of science is not unlimited. Yet."
Giorgio Piorgio, President of Americans for Separation of Science and State, handed out a list of ten notable victories by his organization:
- 1. Any mention of "global warming" by government scientists is now treated as a terroristic threat by DHS, and the scientist making it "disappears."
- 2. The Grand Canyon has had its suggestively naked sedimentary surface painted a modest uniform brown. The Canyon is now used as an example of the danger of extremely rapid erosion in agricultural soil conservation programs.
- 3. Rocket scientists at NASA has been instructed to cancel all missions to astronomical bodies that appear older than 6,000 years, as they are false clues left by the Devil. The space agency has also been tasked to compute and publish the orbit of the sun and planets around the square disk of the earth. NASA has also been told to set up an array of space-based sensors to detect the approach of angels, and has been told to convert its SETI program into a Search for the Intelligent Design Entity (SIDE).
- 4. The Energy Department has published new "Rapture-conscious" guidelines for the disposal of nuclear waste from power plants, which call for dumping radioactive waste in rivers and on city streets.
- 5. A bounty has been placed on arctic varmints such as Canadians and those man-eating polar bears. Petrochemical companies may collect this bounty due to the good work they are doing to make the bleak polar regions warm and toasty.
- 6. Childhood lead and mercury poisoning have become a thing of the past, due to the official recognition of new Vitamins "L" and "M."
- 7. The atmosphere has been designated an official toxic dump.
- 8. The giant "mutant" rats which have been seen in huge, ravening packs near some petrochemical complexes have now been renamed, "Rapture Rabbits."
- 9. Though not endorsing evolutionism, the Bush administration has made it official policy that any living creatures which become extinct either are "pre-Raptured" (if they are cute or useful), or "had it coming" (if they were less cute, or got in the way).
- 10. The promotion of faith-based healing, especially for the poor, in lieu of expensive medical treatment.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 01/09/2007 03:02:23
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