Back to The Kil Report
Spam Scams and Slams
By David Gluck
Posted on: 4/5/2002
Kil comments on a variety of spam, from God to psychics.
If you get Internet mail, you are probably well aquainted with all that unsolicited advertising we lovingly call “spam.” For the companies that employ this method of advertising, there are virtually no restrictions on what kind of product claims they can make — anything goes. There are laws about truth-in-advertising that the Federal Trade Commission and other agencies concerned with fraud enforce. But so far, on the Internet, nothing very effective is in place to stop these companies from making the most outrageous claims imaginable. Moreover, since the food supplement industry is pretty much unregulated, the proof that these products won’t do what they claim to do often comes after the product has been on the market for some time. That proof doesn’t necessarily get the product “off the shelf” either.
Since they are unregulated, more often then not, they can continue selling the product with only slight modifications of wording on the label.
Homeopathics are all over the place and serve as a good example of how a useless product can be sold legally.
Some sites exist which do monitor product claims and issue alerts. The FTC at www.ftc.gov is one of those. Quackwatch at www.quackwatch.com is another, and it is always a good source for information on alternative medicines, food supplements and health related scams and fraud.
But I digress…
Here is another installment of the weird email I get. Not all of these are health-related advertisements. Some of these are just plain weird. All of them deserve to be viewed with skepticism. Some I probably should have deleted, but I just couldn’t resist sharing them with you. My comments will be in parentheses at the end of each email.
Here they are:
Welcome to the new science of Bio-Theology,
THE “GOD” PART OF THE BRAIN:
A SCIENTIFIC INTERPRETATION OF
HUMAN SPIRITUALITY AND GOD
- ROGUE PRESS -
FROM THE DAWN OF OUR SPECIES, EVERY CULTURE
- NO MATTER HOW ISOLATED -
HAS MAINTAINED A BELIEF IN SOME FORM OF A SPIRITUAL REALITY.
WOULDN’T THIS IMPLY THAT SPIRITUALITY MUST REPRESENT
AN INHERENT CHARACTERISTIC OF OUR SPECIES, THAT IS,
A GENETICALLY INHERITED TRAIT?
IS OUR SPECIES “WIRED” TO PERCIEVE
SUCH UNIVERSAL CONCEPTS AS
A SPIRITUAL REALM, A GOD, A SOUL, AND AN AFTERLIFE?
IS GOD SOMETHING WHICH EXISTS “OUT THERE,”
BEYOND AND INDEPENDENT OF US, OR IS GOD MERELY
THE PRODUCT OF AN INHERITED PERCEPTION,
THE MANIFESTATION OF AN EVOLUTIONARY ADAPTATION
WHICH EXISTS IN HUMAN BRAINS
- A “SPIRITUAL” COGNITIVE FUNCTION -
ONE WHICH EMERGED IN US SO AS TO ENABLE OUR SPECIES
TO DEAL WITH OUR UNIQUE AND OTHERWISE DEBILITATING
AWARENESS OF DEATH?
THESE ARE THE TYPES OF QUESTIONS EXPLORED IN
THE “GOD” PART OF THE BRAIN
A BOOK WHICH TAKES A BOLD AND REVOLUTIONARY
NEW LOOK AT HUMAN SPIRITUALITY AND
THE NATURE OF GOD’S EXISTENCE.
FOR MORE INFO AS WELL AS TO ORDER A COPY GO TO:
THE “GOD” PART OF THE BRAIN
IT’S MORE THAN JUST A BOOK,
IT’S A REVOLUTION!
(I’ll bet this book is going to be a best seller. It worries me, however. If I’m missing the god part of my brain, does that mean I have some kind of brain damage? I would feel better if someone would write a book called “The Godless Part of the Brain is Bigger.” A new science called Bio-Skepticism would be nice, too.)
Natural Trim Patch
A homeopathic weight loss product!!
Natural Trim Patch was formulated as a healthy, simple, and natural way to help you lose and control your weight.
HOW THE PRODUCT WORKS: Natural TrimPatch was created to promote health and wellness without the side affects or the potential abuse normally associated with many diet medications. It uses highly diluted amounts of natural formulations as an appetite suppressant, reducing the body’s craving for food. When used in conjunction with a sensible diet and mild exercise, Natural TrimPatch has been proven to be very successful. No Pills, No Shakes, No Special Diets!
HOW THE PRODUCT IS APPLIED: Natural TrimPatch is applied through a transdermal patch. The patch, a highly effective means of administering the product into the body, enables the product to by-pass the digestive system’s acids and enzymes. The patch frees a person from the concern of overdosing or having to remember specific daily regimens normally associated with pill and prescription diet programs.
HISTORY OF THE PRODUCT: Natural TrimPatch is a new homeopathic product that has been in development for the past two years. It became available to the general public in the spring of 1998 after an extensive time of closely monitored clinical testing.
Natural Trim Patch has been monitored by a medical advisory board consisting of over
sixty medical doctors (MD).
Natural Trimpatch has been recommended by over 1,000 medical doctors.
Natural TrimPatch has been test marketed on 2,000 patients with a successful weight-loss experienced by 87%.
H o m e o p a t h i c
28 Patches (4 weeks supply)
No Side Effects
No Pills to take - No Shakes to drink
Just Peel and Stick
Average weight loss:
2 - weeks = 3.87 lbs.
4 - weeks = 6.12 lbs.
6 - weeks = 9.64 lbs.
To place an order:
Please send a check to:
2834 Longwood ct.
Ft. Wayne In.
I box 28 day supply
$60 plus $3 tax $3 shipping
Please send $66 check made out to
Rita puckett. After payment is received product will be shipped.
(Where do I begin? First of all, there is the problem of homeopathics in general. The American Heritage Dictionary defines Homeopathics as “a system for treating disease based on the administration of minute doses of a drug that in larger amounts would produce symptoms in healthy individuals similar to those of the disease it is said to be curing.” These drugs are diluted in water. The dilutions are so extreme that not even a molecule of the drug is present in its final dilution. When asked how this can work the proponents of homeopathics say that the water retains a memory of the drug — a “vital force.” There is nothing left in the water that can be detected or measured. Nada.
They have yet to explain how they can deliver the “vital force” in pill form.
Just how do they get the water with a memory into a pill? They have to evaporate the water don’t they? And if the water contained only a memory of the drug, what’s left? The correct answer: NOTHING! So now, you can administer your nothing with a transdermal patch. “A highly effective means of administering the nothing into the body.”
And, what’s this? It’s a weight loss homeopathic patch! That can only mean that in that patch is none of a drug that when taken in larger amounts increases the body’s craving for food. What could the missing drug be? Does it matter? You can get a 28 day supply of the patch that has nothing on it for only $66.00. And the best news is that the nothing is natural.
Natural is good…)
WE GUARANTEE THAT YOU CAN HAVE FULLER, FIRMER BREASTS…
You can now throw away those uncomfortable miracle bras, no more surgeries, and no more grief!!! After years of research a cream has been developed that will give you all the desired benefits of breast implants and pusher-upper bras!
Introducing… Wonder Cream…
Wonder Cream contains all natural ingredients that stimulate the production of the body’s own natural hormones, which are responsible for the increase in fullness and size.
What Kind of Results Can You Expect?
75% to 80% of women that use Wonder Cream have had a 1 to 2 cup increase over a period of one to three months.
*Over 2,000,000 consumer doses used in the past year!
*7 out of 10 women have recommended Wonder Cream to a friend!
*NO SIDE EFFECTS!
Unconditional Money Back Guarantee!
Order today for an introductory price of $39.95 plus $5.95 S&H
Click Here to ORDER!!!
(I went to this site. I sent them an email requesting more information. I wanted to know what doctors were recommending this product, where and what testing had been done, and how I might obtain a copy of the test results. This was the response I received:
It has been over month since I requested the information, and their only response has been the above letter. I did go to the site for more information and it turned out to be a service for selling things over the net. What a surprise.
Thank you for contacting us. We will get
back to you shortly. This FREE feedback form
is presented to you by GTA Technologies.
GTA Technologies makes FREE shopping cart
solutions to enable busineses to conduct
commerce online easily, affordably and
effectively. For more information, go to:
As for the claim of fuller, firmer breasts, I have to resist my baser instincts and just move on…)
Ear coning, (a 5,000 year old procedure) is a
safe and simple home remedy for relieving pressure
& fighting infection in the ears.
* Improves hearing
* Improves sinus conditions
* Detoxs lymph system
* Fights infections
Ear coning dates back to the ancient Egyptian, Chinese, Tibetan, Aztec, Mayan and American Indian cultures. Today ear coning is done by Cherokee, Mexican, European and Amish healers (German medical students are taught coning as a part of their medical practice). Many people consider ear coning as necessary a part of personal hygiene as is toothbrushing.
Long, tapered cones are inserted into the ears and lit. Warm, dry, powdery smoke from the cone draws out excess fluids, wax and toxic debris by osmosis. At the same time, vaporized beeswax and herbal essences in the smoke infuse their natural infection-fighting properties into the inner ear, sinuses and lymph drainage system. The entire process is relaxing and non-invasive.
All of our cones are handmade with beeswax and high frequency rose oil and hand scraped to give you the highest quality earcones available today.
Whether you skydive, scuba, fly (coning relieves that uncomfortable pressure and popping from your ears) or just like to walk, you will benefit from this 5,000 year old cleansing procedure. Most people think of getting their ears cleaned when they feel stopped up or can’t hear. In addition to these complaints, clients have reported breakthroughs in the areas of: sinus clearing, balance, mental clarity and detox of the lymphatic system.
Our cones normally retail in stores for $8.00 to $10 per pair. We are now offering them on the internet at wholesale prices. You may buy them for as little as$4.00 per pair, depending on volume. We ship by priority mail and we accept Mastercard, Visa and American Express.
If you, or anyone in your family has ever experienced ear infections or discomfort, you owe it to yourself to check this ancient remedy out.
To find out more about ear coning
and put Ear Coning in the subject line.
DO NOT HIT REPLY !
You may call us at 310 455-8623
or fax us at 310 455-2622
(While it’s true that ear coning has been around for a while, it is not true
that it cures anything. Proponents of ear coning have at various times claimed it cures sinus pressure, purifies and strenghthens the brain, sharpens smell, taste, and color perception, purifies the blood and aligns chakras as well as detoxing the lymph system and fighting infections as this ad claims.
Lisa M.L. Dryer at the quakwatch site has this to say about ear coning:
Why Candling Can’t WorkShe goes on to talk about the dangers of ear coning. These dangers include
Since wax is sticky, the negative pressure needed to pull wax from the canal would have to be so powerful that it would rupture the eardrum in the process. However, candling produces no vacuum. Researchers who measured the pressure during candling of ear models found that no negative pressure was created. The same investigators candled eight ears and found that no ear wax was removed and candle wax was actually deposited in some in some of them!
The notion that the ear canal is connected to structures beyond the eardum is false. A review of a good anatomy book should dispel this notion. The external ear canal, with an intact eardrum, is not connected to the brain, the sinuses targeted by the procedure (those above your eyes), or the Eustacean tubes (the passageways between the internal ear and the back of the throat). While some claim that the eardrum is porous and quickly allows impurities to pass through, this is untrue. The “impurities” that appear in the collected wax (usually on a paper plate or other collecting device) are nothing more than the ashes from the burnt wick and wax of the cone itself.
external burns, ear canal obstruction with candle wax, and perforated eardrums.
You can read the entire report on ear coning at Quackwatch.
Also, the November/December 1998 issue of the Skeptical Inquirer has an article about ear coning [also known as ear candling] on pages 17-18, titled “The Pseudoscience of Ear Wax Removal.”)
“The Psychic Center”
When It Is Better To Know
At The Psychic Center You Can Choose From Three of The Top Professionals In Their Field That The Psychic Institute In Carolina Has To Offer.“They Have An Average Of 98% Accuracy That Is Tested And Certified!!!! These Psychics At The Psychic Center Are
Psychics . These
Psychics Have Often been Called Upon To Help Police In Cases…
If You Call Now You Can Get A Free sample Reading. This Is Not A 900 Number That Is charged To Your Phone. This Is A One Time Phone Call To Talk To A Real Live Psychic.
Do You Have A Problem You Can Not Solve?
The Psychic Center Can Help!!!!
Whether Your Problem Is Through LOVE - MARRIAGE -
BUSINESS Or Maybe you are Concerned Over Health
Would You Like To Bring Good Luck Into Your Life? “No Problem Is To Big Or Small. What Ever Your Problem Is You Can Get Help At THE PSYCHIC CENTER !!!!
If You Are Lost In Sorrow Or Despair And Don’t Know To Turn Don’t Fail To Call And Talk To One Of These True Born Psychics.
“The Future Is A Phone Call Away”
One Call can put Your Mind At Ease And Show You That Your
Problems Can Be Solved.
To Get Your FREE SAMPLE READING
Visit Our Web Site
www.thepsychiccenter.com [Link Defunct - Ed.]
(The ante has been upped on what makes a really good psychic. If you’ll remember, the last time I did this, I commented on an ad that touted “Truly gifted psychics.” I made the suggestion that if someone is psychic then it should go without saying that they are “truly gifted.” Can there be another kind?
What I think must have happened here is the people who wrote this ad visited our site and read my remarks. They realized I was correct about the redundancy and didn’t want to make the same mistake their competitors made. So, these guys don’t use the services of just any psychic. They don’t have people who have learned to be psychic by tapping into their measly hidden powers. Oh no. The psychics that work for this company have to be “True Born Psychics.” No Johnny-come-latelys!
This may get good. I am waiting for the day when all out psychic war is declared. I envision hordes of late blooming “Gifted Psychics” battling the fewer but more powerful “True Born Psychics” for world domination, or at least, a market monopoly. My guess, by the way, is that the folks at the “Psychic Friends Network” were of the “gifted” variety. That would explain their inability to predict the downfall of the company they so valiantly served…)
Read or Add Comments about this Article