Back to Skeptillaneous
By David Glück
Posted on: 4/18/2002
A selection of spam from Kil's inbox: TFT, HGH, Psychics, Spray Vitamins, Creatine and Magnets.
Everyday, my email inbox is filled with spam from companies that offer incredible new all natural wonder drugs, psychic readings, therapies and “get rich quick” schemes. Friends and people who have visited this site have also forwarded some emails they’ve received that they found particularly funny, alarming or annoying. I thought it might be fun to share some of my favorites with you.
Thought Field Therapy: A Paradigm Shift
Thought Field Therapy (TFT) is revolutionizing psychotherapy. Directed at the body’s energy system and thought fields, TFT heals at a fundamental level and is rapid and thorough in its effect. It is psychotherapy at the quantum level. TFT uses energy meridian treatment points used in Oriental cultures since ancient times. Stimulating those points in an appropriate ordered sequence provides dramatic rapid improvement in individuals suffering from trauma, anxiety, addictive urges, phobias, and more. This workshop will train participants in TFT trauma treatment and give them the oppurtunity to see and experience this powerful therapy.
American Psychological Association credit available.
Argh!!!!!!!!! [Dawn’s comment]
IS AGING A CURABLE DISEASE?
YES IT IS!
Do you know someone who..
* Needs help maintaining high activity levels?
* Wants to improve their quality of life?
* Wants to enhance sexual performance?
* Needs help sleeping?
* Wants to lose fat or increase muscle mass
We are helping people do all of these things, and you can be a part of it! For over three decades, wealthy people throughout the world have been achieving dramatic health results with supplemental (HGH), costing $1000 per month or more for daily injections.
Now, however, a team of scientists from Europe and the US have succeeded in creating an oral transporter that can deliver large molecule nutrients and hormones, such as HGH. This has provided the average person the opportunity to receive revitalizing supplements by mouth rather than expensive injection.
What is HGH?
HGH supports the immune system. As a result, it affects virtually every cell in the human body. Your body produces HGH, and as you age, your body produces less and less of it.
The great news?
HGH can be REPLACED and can help to:
*Support healthy heart function
*Support proper blood pressure
*Support development of lean muscle mass
*Dramatically support proper sleep cycles
*Improve oxygen intake
*Support activity levels and exercise performance
*Support and promote better sexual performance.
What would happen if people were offered a longevity alternative that really worked — a substance with overwhelming proof from more than 20,000 studies of its effectiveness and safety?
What if HGH came in a bottle, and you could carry it in your pocket?
What if you could spray it under your tongue, like breath spray?
How many people could benefit?
Are we saying that this is “Life in a bottle?”
Are we saying that this is “Youth in a bottle?”
Medical Science and more than 20,000 studies over many years have made that common knowledge.
For the last 15 years HGH has only been available through an injection from a doctor — at a cost of $1200 or more per month. But now…
Join us as we provide that product to the public at exactly the moment they want it most! And the best part is, it doesn’t cost $1200 a month and you don’t have to take an injection. It costs about $4.00 a day — the price of a pastry and a cup of coffee at Starbucks!
For information on how you can obtain our unique product and help others to do the same while you profit handsomely from this amazing “fountain of youth” product, simply >HIT REPLY> or call [number deleted]
While I’d like to profit handsomely from this, I can’t right now. I’m on my way to Starbucks for a pastry and a cup of coffee…
$3.99 per min. Must be 18 or older
Serv-U [number deleted]”
As opposed to non-gifted psychics?
“Have you Sprayed
Your Vitamins Today!”
No hard-to-swallow pills,
no upset stomach… plus nearly
complete absorption of nutrients,
and as easy and convenient as it sounds!
When vitamins are delivered via oral spray, 90% of the nutrients are absorbed into your bloodstream - Nine Times More (according to the prestigious Physician’s Desk ReferenceTM) than the 10% absorbtion rate of a typical vitamin pill lodged in your digestive tract.
I have to comment here. The publishers and editors of the Physicians Desk Reference do not test drugs. They just publish what is submitted by drug manufacturers. They make no claims at all. The above statement is therefore, at the very least, misleading. I would have to check the PDR so see if this is an outright lie.
Get the optimum goodness of vitamins in your system in seconds - without pills to swallow, water to hunt for, bottles to fumble, or an upset stomach!
100% CERTIFIED by the NAC
Now listed in the Physician’s Desk ReferenceTM
Division of Mayor Pharmaceutical Laboratories
VitaMist’s all-natural fruit flavorings make these vitamins and health care sprays taste great. Just two quick spritzes, four times a day, and you’re set for your daily dose. No fillers waxes or by-products for your body to contend with. Carry everywhere, use anytime!
NO CAFFEINE! NO CALORIES! NO DRUGS! NO FAT!
Each non-aerosol pump is a 30-day supply!
Here are some of the more popular selections we offer,
call for our complete product line and litterature:
Vitaminophen Pain Spray $19.95
Fast relief of minor aches, pains, and fever - without stomach irritation or the side effects of asprin or ibuprofen.
Kick the habit without gum, pills, or patches and replaces your desire to eat! Don’t light-up, Spritz up!
Designed to quickly satisfy, without over-eating or the use of drugs. Just a quick spray and the all natural ingredients go to work. Four flavors to choose from: Chocolate Fudge, Tropical Delight, Arctic Mint and Berry Supreme
8 elements proven to relieve arthritis pain in one fomula. Spray away that aching and stiffness in minutes.
Daily Adult Multiple $19.95
Vitamins A, B-1, B-3, B-6, B-12, C w/ rose hips, D, E, beta carotene, folic acid, panethol, bioflavonoids, niacinamide and 72 trace minerals.
Lady Mate (PMS Relief) $19.95
Soothe your anxiety, hydration, depression and cravings. All natural herbal base.
Vitamins A, C, E, beta carotene, niacinamide, bioflavonoids, selenium, folic acid, chromium, manganese, and several trace minerals.
Ancient healing herbs and improved memory and brain functions.
Children’s Daily Multiple $19.95
A natural bubble gum flavored formulation for children 4yrs and up. Vitamins A, B-1, B-6, B-12, B complex, C w/ rose hips, D-3, E, beta carotene, folic acid, niacinamide, panthenol, bioflavonoids, and trace minerals.
Stress Relief $19.95
Stress can drain the nutrients needed to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Get revitalized in minutes with our stress relief fomula.
One dose equals 1000% RDA
C + Zinc $19.95
For the common cold.
E + Selenium $19.95
Folacin/folic Acid $19.95
Herbal Osteo-Calmag/Calcium + Magnesium $23.95
Calcium ascorbate for stronger, heathier bones.
Herbal Re-Leaf $23.95
Healing Herbs - feverfew, valerian, willow bark, gingko biloba, echinaces, and more - promote wellness
Blue-Green Algae $25.95
A natural spirulina and marine algae concentrate rich in omega-3, and omega-6 fatty acids.
Collodial Spray Minerals $19.95
Provides 77 trace and major minerals from natural plant sources - the maximum in physiological proportions.
Don’t see what your looking for? Call today, we offer a very extensive product line.
How does oral spay absorption work?
Micro-sized beads or droplets of nutrients are absorbed through the mucosa (tissue lining) of the mouth and oral cavity, directly into the bloodstream at the site of dense vascularization. When a microfine mist containing medicine or nutrients is sprayed into the mouth, absorption is efficient and almost instantaneous. Scientists have discovered that oral absorption is a prefered dosage method for many drugs.
Oral (spray) absorption is indeed the wave of the future. Products now available using the approved methodology of oral absorption include insulin, interferon, nitroglycerine and dietary supplements-vitamins, minerals, amino acids and herbs.
Order the Adult Multi, C+Zinc, B-12, and Collodial All for Only $80 and Become a VitaMist Distributor FREE, simply buy any 3 spray’s per month at wholsale distributor prices for a 3 month minimum, and enjoy up to 54% OFF all products. Make great money recruiting your own downline, at home, online! Fast start bonuses! Sign up your local vitamin or health food outlet and make money every time they sell a single product! No need to worry about competition KarMor has the exclusive patent in over 50 countries! [number deleted] Info and Distributor Hotline
You would think they could get someone to have proofed the text of this email. My spell checker went crazy since I wouldn’t let it correct the errors. Anyway, it doesn’t surprise me one bit that they think this could be a big seller at health food stores. For more on that, see the Kil Report.
**Retail Outlets, Wholesalers, Distributors, Coaches, Trainers, Fire/Police Departments Welcome (Please scroll to bottom of page for more info.)**
THE NEWS IS OUT. . . .
CREATINE MONOHYDRATE: IS A METABOLITE THAT FUNCTIONS AS A PRECURSOR TO CREATINE PHOSPHATE. ONCE CONVERTED TO CREATINE PHOSPHATE IT PROVIDES A HIGH ENERGY PHOSPHATE MOLECULE FOR ATP PRODUCTION. ATP (ADENOSINE TRI PHOSPHATE) IS THE CHEMICAL IN OUR BODIES THAT FUELS ALL MUSCULAR CONTRACTIONS. WITH HIGHER AMOUNTS OF ATP AVAILABLE, YOU WILL PUSH HEAVIER WEIGHTS, EXERCISE HARDER WITHOUT FATIGUE, AND RIP THROUGHOUT YOUR WORKOUTS! CREATINE’S ROLE, COUPLED WITH TRAINING INFLUENCES MUSCULAR CONTRACTION, CELL HYDRATION, STRENGTH, ENDURANCE AND ULTIMATELY, LONG TERM MUSCULAR GROWTH. AS LITTLE AS 5-10 GRAMS TAKEN PRIOR TO WORKING OUT WILL INTENSIFY YOUR TRAINING SESSIONS LIKE NOTHING THAT’S AVAILABLE ON THE MARKET TODAY.
UNFORTUNATELY THERE ARE MANY UNSCRUPULOUS SUPPLEMENT COMPANIES OFFERING CREATINE THAT HAS BEEN CUT IN HALF BY ADDING MALTODEXTRINE (A COMPLEX CARBOHYDRATE). WE SELL ONLY 100% PURE CREATINE (PHARMECEUTICAL GRADE AMERICAN MADE/ PHANSTIEHL HPLC TESTED).
WE GUARANTEE IT OR YOUR MONEY BACK!
*UP TO 60% BELOW RETAIL PRICES** *
COME SEE WHY THOUSANDS SAVE WITH US AND WHY WE ARE THE #1 HEALTH AND NUTRITION COMPANY ON THE INTERNET. . . .
1100 g. OF PURE CREATINE — $69.99
(2.4 lbs./4 MONTHS SUPPLY) NO LIMIT!
(IF YOU NEED TO LOSE THE FAT AND GAIN LEAN MUSCLE)
(3 MOS. SUPPLY/CREATINE-CLA-CARNITINE SUGGESTED PRICE: $220)
ON SALE: $139.99 YOU SAVE $80!
(IF YOU ARE LEAN BUT NEED TO ADD MORE MUSCLE)
(3 MOS. SUPPLY/CREATINE-GLUTAMINE-TAURINE SUGGESTED PRICE: $200)
ON SALE: $129.99 YOU SAVE $70!
CALL: [numbers deleted]
CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE #1 HEALTH/FITNESS SECURE WEB-PAGE AND GET MORE DETAILS ON OVER 50 OTHER PRODUCTS+200 MORE EXPECTED BY SPRING OF 98’ (0RDER ONLINE 24HRS/7DAYS A WEEK)!
ATTN: RETAIL STORE OWNERS/ NATIONAL & INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTORS ONLY: CARRY OUR PRODUCTS AND WE WILL ADVERTISE YOUR STORE/STORES FOR “FREE” ($400 VALUE PER MONTH/ PER STORE) ON OUR WEB-SITE UNDER “RETAIL STORES NEAR YOU”. PLEASE VISIT OUR WEB-SITE FOR MORE INFORMATION. NOW WHAT SUPPLEMENT COMPANY GIVES YOU THAT KIND OF PRODUCT SUPPORT AND MARKETING???? DON’T LET THIS OPPURTUNITY PASS YOU BY. . . . CALL [number deleted] TO GET YOUR STORE WHOLESALE PRICES AND VOLUME DISCOUNTS!
It’s the caps that get me. Is this obnoxious or what? I get this email every week or so…
“THERAPEUTIC MAGNETIC HEALING
Magnets help to banish :
Chronic Pain! Stress! Carpal Tunnel! Depression! Insomnia!
CAN WE HELP YOU ???
- Published articles on Therapeutic Magnetic Healing
- Product information
- Distributorships available
We don’t really need “Thought Field Therapy.” This one does it all…