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JRB
New Member
USA
37 Posts |
 Posted - 06/15/2001 : 12:06:59
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Since there's no "humor" folder, I'll put this here (hehe).
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Scholars have long debated the exact ethnicity and nationality of Jesus.
Recently, at a theological meeting in Rome, scholars had a heated debate
on this subject.
One by one, they offered their evidence...
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN:
1. His first name was Jesus
2. He was bilingual
3. He was always being harassed by the authorities
But then there were equally good arguments that...
JESUS WAS BLACK
1. He called everybody "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial
But then there were equally good arguments that...
JESUS WAS JEWISH
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God.
But then there were equally good argument that...
JESUS WAS ITALIAN
1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He used olive oil
But then there were equally good arguments that...
JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN
1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot
3. He started a new religion
But then there were equally good arguments that...
JESUS WAS IRISH
1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories
3. He loved green pastures
But perhaps the most compelling evidence ...
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN ....
1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food
2. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who JUST DIDN'T GET IT
3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for him to do.
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Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
 Posted - 06/15/2001 : 12:59:34 [Permalink]
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 ROTFLMAO! I love it!
He's YOUR god, they're YOUR rules, YOU burn in hell! |
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Marc_a_b
Skeptic Friend
USA
142 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2001 : 13:31:41 [Permalink]
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According to my favorite (former) preacher, Sam Kinneson, Jesus was asked if he could return to earth.
"Sure I'll go back.. when I can play the piano again!! I'm the only savior that can use their hand as a F***ing whistle!!!"
On the more serious side last easter there was a program that tried to give a more accurate picture of what the guy, if he ever existed, probably looked like. Rather than relying on renesance paintings they took the skull of an Isrialite that lived around the same time. Reconstruct the face from that, get hair style from paintings from that time and presto!
http://more.abcnews.go.com/sections/world/dailynews/virtualjesus010327.html
ok, it might not look anything like him, but it is probably a hell of a lot closer than the image people have been useing.
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Bradley
Skeptic Friend
USA
147 Posts |
Posted - 06/18/2001 : 11:19:29 [Permalink]
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Rembrandt painted a jesus that was unique for its time because:
1.) He hired a Jewish man to model for it.
and 2.) The subject was actually smiling.
Viewing the painting with this knowledge, one gets the impression that the artist and model were sharing a private joke.
I have seen this work years ago at the Detroit Institute of Arts and am not sure if is still in the institute's possession. In recent years many museum and public library services have been seriously curtailed, yet, appallingly, we still find funds here for sports venues.
"Too much doubt is better than too much credulity."
-Robert Green Ingersoll (1833 - 1899) |
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