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Infamous
Skeptic Friend
85 Posts |
 Posted - 04/25/2003 : 09:59:02 [Permalink]
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Some Book of Moron bloopers:
Spelling
"Bellows" is misspelled as "bellowses".
"Years" is misspelled as "yars".
Grammar
"Behold, for none of these I cannot hope."
"And now behold the Lamanites who could not retreat neither way."
"Yea, if my days could have been in them days."
"And it came to pass that there was certain men passing by."
"They did not fight against God no more."
"I have wrote to them."
"I were about to write to them."
"The multitude had all eat."
"I Moroni have written the words which was commanded me."
"The law had ought to be done away."
"Which was wrote upon the plates."
"Adam and Eve, which was our first parents."
"Who was the most foremost among them."
"That there might not be no more sorrow."
"And this he done."
The words "and it came to pass", "the more part", "behold", "thereof", and "insomuch" are all repeated ad nauseum.
And look at this headache and a half: "And thus did the thirty and eight years pass away, also the thirty and ninth and forty and first, and the forty and second, yea even until forty and nine years had passed away, and also the fifty and second; yea, and even until fifty and nine years had passed away." That's a hell of a lot of writing just to say 59 years had gone by.
Made-up words
"preparator"
"arriven"
"numerority"
Content
People using a compass--a device which hadn't yet been invented when the events supposedly happened.
Horses and asses in North America--which hadn't yet been brought there when the events supposedly happened.
Elephants in North America when the people arrived--elephants aren't native to North America.
The French word "adieu"--French didn't exist when the events supposedly happened.
A "King Benjamin" is doing things when he died 15 chapters earlier.
Referring to Jesus, "yea, the Son of the only begotten of the Father."
And this is quite possibly THE FUNNIEST THING I EVER READ:
"And it came to pass when he had smitten off the head of Shiz, which Shiz raised upon his hands and fell; and after that he had struggled for breath, he died."
Since when do decapitated people try to get up off the ground and struggle for breath? |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2003 : 13:33:39 [Permalink]
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(hehehe), that little screed brings out the grammer nazi in me, as well as the skeptic.
But then, most if not all of this was written by contemporaries of Joe Smith, a far cry from Rhodes Scholers by the most generous of standards.
Sometimes I think that the only thing that has changed is the style of their suits.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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jmcginn
Skeptic Friend
343 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2003 : 14:26:02 [Permalink]
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quote:
"And it came to pass when he had smitten off the head of Shiz, which Shiz raised upon his hands and fell; and after that he had struggled for breath, he died."
LOL!!! Now cut that shiz out!! No shiz man. What in the shiz happened. Oh shiz, he just cut the head of shiz off. Now my shiz is having a hard time breathing, you shiz arse bastard. LOL |
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Jayster
New Member
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - 05/07/2003 : 19:08:17 [Permalink]
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| Can black folks be Morman priests yet? And do they still believe in having more than one wife? And do they still claim that Adam is God?And are they still coo-coo for coa-coa puffs? |
Jayster |
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Avenel
Skeptic Friend
USA
60 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2003 : 07:13:14 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Jayster
Can black folks be Morman priests yet?
Yes, the Mormon Church eliminated that barrier in 1978.
quote:
And do they still believe in having more than one wife?
The Mormons suspended polygamous marriages in 1890. Some polygamous marriages were preformed as late as 1904. Some LDS splinter groups continue to practice polygamy.
quote:
And do they still claim that Adam is God?
I can find no reference to such a belief at the OCRT web site. |
"How many angels can swim on the head of a beer?" - Roger Ramjet |
| Edited by - Avenel on 05/08/2003 14:31:43 |
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LouWags
New Member
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - 05/09/2003 : 14:00:57 [Permalink]
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Frankly, there are a lot of support groups out there. Let your patient know about them and at the very least, she'll have a place to vent with others who have found their way out of the Mormon cult.
Here is one that I post on: www.exmormon.org
--Wag--
Former Mormon Brainwashee 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Shari
I had a patient come to me in tears a few weeks ago because she had fosaken her Methodist roots to become a Mormon and now was being shunned and threatened by church members because she had decided to return to the Methodist Church. Fundamantalists seem weird to us, Seven Day Adventists are willing to send anyone to hell who doesn't remember that Saturday and not Sunday is the Sabbath but a true Mormon or Church of the Latter Day Saints has even the Realiens beat in my book. This site would take too long for me to begin to expalin the oddities of this "religion" to those who do not live within the sphere of their influence or has no knowledge of the doctrine of this church but dyied in the wool fundamentalist anything has nothing on these wackos. Take some time looking up their web sites and see for your self what it is they want you to belive. Of course they are as secretive as Scientologists and will not give up the truth easily to anyone they haven't felt has been converted but if you are a man who would like to be given his own world to be populated by your many wives then jump right in and believe their teachings. Only aliens could have thought of a stranger religion.
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Question everything. Resist brainwashing. Believe nothing. Learn forever. |
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