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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 09/10/2004 :  19:34:21  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message
http://www.capalert.com/capreports

This site is dedicated to rating Hollywood movies according to some made-up scale of Christian wholesomeness. Anyway, they have a huge list of films. Each review is headered by a traffic light, and from what I gather: red means to avoid the movie entirely as being horrendously immoral, yellow is view with caution, and green is the go ahead.

I have yet to click on a film that hasn't been redlighted! Even the kids movies Iron Giant, Hey, Arnold! and Holes were objected to on the grounds that the kids went unpunished for their "rebelliousness."

Oscar winner for best picture Chicago is summarized thusly:
quote:
A few of the scenes and subplots in Chicago are indeed tender and touching, but many are not. There is graphic gunfire murder [Rev. 22:15, Rev. 21:8], adulterous intercourse but with no nudity [1Cor. 7:2], very revealing dress, a hanging, and vulgar dance moves much like the ones that cost John the Baptist his head. There is much more to concern parents and grandparents. Please look to the listing in the Findings/Scoring section. It is completely objective to His Word.


Too funny. Check it out if you need a laugh. Cookie for whoever finds the first green light (which isn't for an overtly religiously-themed movie.)


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie

Edited by - H. Humbert on 09/10/2004 20:24:58

@tomic
Administrator

USA
4607 Posts

Posted - 09/10/2004 :  19:43:16   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit @tomic's Homepage Send @tomic a Private Message
We could always parody this with our Skeptic Scale and assign a value to the folks that run that site. Turnabout is fair game.

@

Gravity, not just a good idea...it's the law!

Sportsbettingacumen.com: The science of sports betting
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Dave W.
Info Junkie

USA
26012 Posts

Posted - 09/10/2004 :  20:34:38   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Dave W.'s Homepage Send Dave W. a Private Message
As written up in the intro to the site, Who Gets the House earned a CAP score of 100. The intro reading as follows:
CAP Final Score
Range of Possible Scores: zero to 100. The higher the score,
the more acceptable the program. Who Gets the House earned
100, American Psycho earned zero.

The Who Gets the House review mentions another movie which earned 100 points, and a simple text search of the main page reveals the film to be Mary Poppins.

Now, since a yellow light indicates that a movie has even a single 86 or less score in any of six categories, we know that no green-light movie has a final CAP score of less than 87. Even the VeggieTales movies Lyle the Kindly Viking, with its CAP score of 93, got a yellow light due to scoring 80 on Wanton Violence and an 80 on Impudence/Hate. On the other hand, another VeggieTales film, Josh and the Big Wall, got a CAP of 98 and a green light, the only fault found being "disobedience to God" dropping the Impudence score to 89.

A third VeggieTales movie, Jonah (yes, the Biblical story, and earning a green light), is interesting only because the reviewer faults the movie for having a character get swallowed by a whale. Obviously, this leads one to wonder just how low the Bible's final CAP score would be.

Well, The Passion of the Christ gets a red light, with no fewer than 42.7 acts of Wanton Violence/Crime per hour, among other sordid details. A final CAP score of only 69. Left Behind: The Movie earned a yellow light, and Left Behind II: Tribulation Force got spanked with a red light. The Jesus Video also drew a red light, as did Judgement and The Gospel of John.

Perhaps the real challenge here is to find a live-action, overtly-Biblical movie which did earn a green light.

Surprisingly, The Never-Ending Story isn't listed, but I suppose there's only so much time, and so many movies.

To make finding green-light movies easier, just stick with high-scoring films. We've already seen the two 100-point movies. There are no movies with a final CAP of 99. Besides Josh and the Big Wall, the two other movies scoring 98 (both also green lights) are Big Bird in China and Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement. I'll leave the rest of the by-score listings to others.

- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too.
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend

Sweden
9677 Posts

Posted - 09/11/2004 :  04:00:51   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Dr. Mabuse an ICQ Message Send Dr. Mabuse a Private Message
It's surprising to find that Mary Poppings earns a score of 100 since it contains levitation, something that is criticized in other movies.

Reading the score and the comments about Scary Movie made me decide that I just had to see it. And I wasn't disappointed. So, hat's off for CAP Alert for a good introduction to a movie I would probably not have seen otherwise.

Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3

"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse

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Renae
SFN Regular

543 Posts

Posted - 09/11/2004 :  04:42:01   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Renae a Private Message
Serious question: WHAT are they so afraid of?

These are MOVIES. This is ART. Art is often suversive, or at least controversial. In fact, one might argue that art, by definition, challenges the status quo and introduces us to new ideas--and if it doesn't, it's not terribly good art.

WHY are they so afraid of IDEAS that DIFFER from THEIR OWN?

And WHY am I drinking coffee and posting at 4:30 in the morning?



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filthy
SFN Die Hard

USA
14408 Posts

Posted - 09/11/2004 :  05:58:17   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send filthy a Private Message
quote:
And WHY am I drinking coffee and posting at 4:30 in the morning?

Yeh, I do a lot of that, too. :bleary:

I skimmed the list and in many cases, I agree with them, although not for the same reasons. It's all just another silly attempt to sway opinion and hustle a little cash in the process -- did everyone notice the panhandling pop-up at the beginning?

But it's kinda fun to go through it and look up favorites.


"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres


"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude

Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,

and Crypto-Communist!

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Cuneiformist
The Imperfectionist

USA
4954 Posts

Posted - 09/11/2004 :  07:44:09   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Cuneiformist a Private Message
The very good children's film Ice Age gets a red light for-- get this-- it is "a bright and dazzling achievement in computer animation with a warm story ... to indoctrinate your children to the theory of evolution." Hilarious!

Some of my favorite comedies-- Fletch and Airplane! aren't listed, though I'd wager that both would get pretty low scores. The Don Knots/Tim Conway film The Private Eyes isn't wasn't listed, though it would probably have a high rating.

I found another zero film, though-- Freddy vs. Jason. The burb reads "a vehicle of communication cannot earn a lower score." Obviously, they haven't seen very much porn...
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Renae
SFN Regular

543 Posts

Posted - 09/11/2004 :  07:59:16   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Renae a Private Message
OMG, I'm more lucid now and the site is even funnier.

I looked up Notting Hill, my fave romantic comedy. It gets penalized for "many many suggestive eye movements." ROFL

Christianity corrupts people's sexuality. Seriously.

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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend

Sweden
9677 Posts

Posted - 09/11/2004 :  14:00:50   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Dr. Mabuse an ICQ Message Send Dr. Mabuse a Private Message
Last time I checked, they didn't rate "8mm" (or "Super8" depending on what country you're in). The one in which Nicolas Cage investigates a snuff movie.

The soft-hearted poor fellow sent to watch the movie couldn't stand watching it, so he got out before the movie was finished.


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Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3

"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse

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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 09/11/2004 :  15:39:06   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message
Oh man, I was bored and poking around at that site some more today.

The Bird Cage actually doesn't have a full summary because the reviewer left after only 25 minutes (They couldn't stands no more), but they did have this to say:
quote:
It was glorification of homosexualtiy, pure and simple. Great scott!! Robin Williams, the voice of Genie in Aladdin who said "I love you too, Al" and acting with children in Jumanji was right there on the screen kissing on other men!

I have a vision of some old lady holding a crucifix at the movie screen while peering through her fingers. I can only imagine the emotional agony it must be for these people to watch such Satanic filth. But even if they protest, there must be some element of voyerism they satisfy by volunteering for this task (if only so others may be spared). They probably fight over who gets to watch the really smutty stuff.

Reminds me of Sir Gallahad being dragged from the castle of virgins in Monte Python's Search for Holy Grail.

"Let me go in and face the peril."
"No, it's too perilous."
"Oh, please. Just a little bit of peril?"


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
Edited by - H. Humbert on 09/11/2004 16:02:07
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Dave W.
Info Junkie

USA
26012 Posts

Posted - 09/11/2004 :  17:53:02   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Dave W.'s Homepage Send Dave W. a Private Message
Does that Bird Cage reviewer have any clue as to what actors do? Good grief! It sounds like he/she thinks that if an actor portrays a gay man, he must really be gay.

Hey, where's my cookie?

- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too.
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R.Wreck
SFN Regular

USA
1191 Posts

Posted - 09/11/2004 :  19:40:55   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send R.Wreck a Private Message
These people have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands. Counting references to flatulence in a movie???!!!

The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibliities of knowledge.
T. H. Huxley

The Cattle Prod of Enlightened Compassion
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend

Sweden
9677 Posts

Posted - 09/12/2004 :  04:27:39   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Dr. Mabuse an ICQ Message Send Dr. Mabuse a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.

Does that Bird Cage reviewer have any clue as to what actors do? Good grief! It sounds like he/she thinks that if an actor portrays a gay man, he must really be gay.

Ellen does/is... right?

Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3

"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse

Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder.
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Plyss
Skeptic Friend

Netherlands
231 Posts

Posted - 09/12/2004 :  09:22:07   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Plyss a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
A third VeggieTales movie, Jonah (yes, the Biblical story, and earning a green light), is interesting only because the reviewer faults the movie for having a character get swallowed by a whale. Obviously, this leads one to wonder just how low the Bible's final CAP score would be.



Interestingly, the entry for "Babe: Pig in the City", one of the mushier films i know, includes penalty points for realistic trauma and injury, sadness from loss of caregiver and ( ironically) threats to achieve good favor. Unfortunately i'm too lazy to actually search the site for other penalty points and apply them to the bible. It seems a safe guess though that it's score would be somewhere near the bottom end of the scale.

Miss Tick sniffed. 'You could say this piece of advice is pricesless', she said. 'Are you listening?'
'Yes' said Tiffany.
'Good now...If you trust in yourself.."
'Yes..?'
'..and believe in your dreams...'
'yes?'
'...and follow your star..' Miss Tick went on.
'Yes?'
'You'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy. Goodbye.'
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Chippewa
SFN Regular

USA
1496 Posts

Posted - 09/12/2004 :  12:30:40   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Chippewa's Homepage Send Chippewa a Private Message
These people are nuts. There are many examples, here's a goofy one, from their review of Disney's remake of "101 Dalmations":

"...we cannot permit elevatation of the dog to human status. God clearly gave us dominion over the beasts of the earth. If we were to elevate the dog to human status, we would indeed be lowering the human to the dog level."

So the real message here is: 1. Animal cruelty is OK, and 2. All life is not sacred, only humans (who know Jesus on our terms.) Everyone else can be made into fur coats.

I noticed they only review newer movies (no older classics like Citizen Kane, 2001, King Kong, etc.,) but they also seemed to have avoided Mel Gibson's "Passion". Perhaps too conflicted; violence all over the screen, but its religious.
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Kil
Evil Skeptic

USA
13467 Posts

Posted - 09/12/2004 :  13:22:41   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Kil's Homepage  Send Kil an AOL message  Send Kil a Yahoo! Message Send Kil a Private Message
quote:
Chippewa:
I noticed they only review newer movies (no older classics like Citizen Kane, 2001, King Kong, etc.,) but they also seemed to have avoided Mel Gibson's "Passion". Perhaps too conflicted; violence all over the screen, but its religious.


They did review "Passion". Dave has a link to it above. Also, they did do some older movies. Not as old as Kane perhaps. Probably, they never heard of Citizen Kane....

Uncertainty may make you uncomfortable. Certainty makes you ridiculous.

Why not question something for a change?

Genetic Literacy Project
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