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Wendy
SFN Regular

USA
614 Posts

Posted - 12/20/2004 :  19:05:46  Show Profile  Send Wendy a Yahoo! Message Send Wendy a Private Message
Gorgo just inspired me over in Siberia's thread about her upcoming surgery. The question "Does your home have some unsightly fat?" gave me an idea. I want to invent a vacuum for home use that sucks out fat, say through a valve in the navel. Then, say once a month, the fat is collected as part of a lypo-donor program. You know, to plump out some chick's lips, or round out a flat ass. Donor and recipient share the cost. Wouldn't that be great?!

How 'bout it, everybody. What would you invent if you had the time and money? The more outlandish, the better.

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz

Edited by - Wendy on 12/20/2004 19:25:11

H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 12/20/2004 :  19:16:53   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message
The "Port-O-Bidet."


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
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Dave W.
Info Junkie

USA
26001 Posts

Posted - 12/20/2004 :  19:35:12   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Dave W.'s Homepage Send Dave W. a Private Message
Wendy, the fat your vacuum sucks out should simply be burned to heat the home, or made into candles on the spot. Even if the lip-injections find a market, there will still be a vast surplus of fat, anyway.

But as to your question, the answer would have to be... TiVo for the brain. Just think about it: no more searching for note paper. Plus, you could pause, rewind and slo-mo live life.

- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too.
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filthy
SFN Die Hard

USA
14408 Posts

Posted - 12/20/2004 :  19:44:38   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send filthy a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Wendy

Gorgo just inspired me over in Siberia's thread about her upcoming surgery. The question "Does your home have some unsightly fat?" gave me an idea. I want to invent a vacuum for home use that sucks out fat, say through a valve in the navel. Then, say once a month, the fat is collected as part of a lypo-donor program. You know, to plump out some chick's lips, or round out a flat ass. Donor and recipient share the cost. Wouldn't that be great?!

How 'bout it, everybody. What would you invent if you had the time and money? The more outlandish, the better.

How disgusting!

Keep that up and I'll walk you through a hog-butchering, step by step, including making boudin noir from the blood and large intestine!

I would like to invent a method of giving polititions a temporary but advanced case of tetnus every time they are caught in a lie.



[6]

"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres


"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude

Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,

and Crypto-Communist!

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Ricky
SFN Die Hard

USA
4907 Posts

Posted - 12/20/2004 :  21:05:52   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Ricky an AOL message Send Ricky a Private Message
quote:
I would like to invent a method of giving polititions a temporary but advanced case of tetnus every time they are caught in a lie.


Thats just down right mean! Tetnus is probably one of the worst diseases out there. I love it.

I would invent a camera that goes in a car takes a picture of a licence plate and sends it directly to the cops when you are run off the road.

In a related story, I was just run completely off the road (literally on the grass) today by some asshole who tried to pass me when there was only 1 lane and on coming traffic. No physical damage to the car or me, but my left hand was shaking for a little while after it.

I wish I had gotten a licence plate or something. The only thing I know is that it was black, and big.

Why continue? Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand who hug their superstitions to their breast.
- Isaac Asimov
Edited by - Ricky on 12/20/2004 21:06:48
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Wendy
SFN Regular

USA
614 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2004 :  06:04:10   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Wendy a Yahoo! Message Send Wendy a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.

Wendy, the fat your vacuum sucks out should simply be burned to heat the home, or made into candles on the spot. Even if the lip-injections find a market, there will still be a vast surplus of fat, anyway.

Brilliant, Dave! Lower utility bills for me, and a craft for the kids, too.
quote:
Originally posted by filthy

Keep that up and I'll walk you through a hog-butchering, step by step, including making boudin noir from the blood and large intestine!

Yikes! I promise to be good from now on!!
quote:
Originally posted by Ricky

In a related story, I was just run completely off the road (literally on the grass) today by some asshole

That happened to me about a year ago. Pissed me off, then scared the hell out of me. Glad you're okay.

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz
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filthy
SFN Die Hard

USA
14408 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2004 :  08:07:16   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send filthy a Private Message
I think that I should like to invent a gadget, cheap to build; easy to use, that would turn lead into gold detect counterfit bills of any denomation of any currency turn lead into gold.


"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres


"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude

Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,

and Crypto-Communist!

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astropin
SFN Regular

USA
970 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2004 :  10:50:47   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send astropin a Private Message
I'm just waiting for Drexler's Nonobots and hoping they don't destroy us, but work as planned. That would take care of eveyone elses inventions as well.

I would rather face a cold reality than delude myself with comforting fantasies.

You are free to believe what you want to believe and I am free to ridicule you for it.

Atheism:
The result of an unbiased and rational search for the truth.

Infinitus est numerus stultorum
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tw101356
Skeptic Friend

USA
333 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2004 :  12:42:05   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send tw101356 a Private Message
Remote control batteries for use in childrens' toys, especially the loud ones given to the kid by relatives who don't live in the same house.

quote:

BOOM...Boom...boom...boo....bo...b..b..b.....

"Oh Dear. Looks like the batteries in your eXtreme Junior Seismologist Earthquake Simulator are dead again. Daddy will get more when he gets the paper in the morning. How about a nice story and some warm milk?"



Sell the remotes for $2 and make the money off the batteries.

- TW


- TW
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Wendy
SFN Regular

USA
614 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2004 :  13:36:30   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Wendy a Yahoo! Message Send Wendy a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by tw101356

Remote control batteries for use in childrens' toys, especially the loud ones given to the kid by relatives who don't live in the same house.


Please put me down for three.

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie

USA
4826 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2004 :  13:55:05   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Valiant Dancer's Homepage Send Valiant Dancer a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by H. Humbert

The "Port-O-Bidet."





There's just something oddly wrong about that concept.

Point to point teleporter? (Gee, I gotta go to the store for eggs. <tweedle>)

Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils

Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion
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filthy
SFN Die Hard

USA
14408 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2004 :  13:58:49   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send filthy a Private Message
How 'bout an unbreakable bullshit detector? Since Bush took office, mine keeps overloading.


"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres


"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude

Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,

and Crypto-Communist!

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Mr. Spock
Skeptic Friend

USA
99 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2004 :  14:12:59   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Mr. Spock a Private Message
Speaking of remote control devices, how about a remote that produces a horrible screeching noise (imagine that noise you get when you accidentally dial a fax, only 100x louder)in the ears of cell phone users? (Actually I'm being nice--I had originally concieved of something that would cause these nuisances to explosively self-destruct, but even I am not that mean!)

"The amount of noise which anyone can bear stands in inverse proportion to his mental capacity." --Schopenhauer
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard

USA
4907 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2004 :  15:33:04   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Ricky an AOL message Send Ricky a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Spock

Speaking of remote control devices, how about a remote that produces a horrible screeching noise (imagine that noise you get when you accidentally dial a fax, only 100x louder)in the ears of cell phone users? (Actually I'm being nice--I had originally concieved of something that would cause these nuisances to explosively self-destruct, but even I am not that mean!)



How about in the ears of telemarketers?

Why continue? Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand who hug their superstitions to their breast.
- Isaac Asimov
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tomk80
SFN Regular

Netherlands
1278 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2004 :  17:14:53   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit tomk80's Homepage Send tomk80 a Private Message
I would invent a device to give creationists a sense of logic. Might come in handy for politicians also.

Tom

`Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, `if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'
-Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Caroll-
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard

USA
4907 Posts

Posted - 12/21/2004 :  17:59:42   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Ricky an AOL message Send Ricky a Private Message
A form of alcohol that can not be detected by all known tests.

Why continue? Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand who hug their superstitions to their breast.
- Isaac Asimov
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