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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 11/17/2006 : 03:51:16
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Hippies square off, then wander off
Bearsquat, Oregon, November 17, 2006 (UHP) -- What a long, strange trip it's been. But the road junction is just ahead, and the Hippies are going their separate ways after over forty years of peace, love, and harmony.
"Like," one disillusioned Hippie explained, "there's all these far-out dudes and chicks, you know? And some of them are into, like, that kind of stuff, but others of them are like, into doing their own thing, see, man? Bad vibes, like. So that's what I'm talking about, man. Bummer."
Tensions came to a head late this summer at the annual international Hippy gathering in Oregon, when one faction, the Rainbow Children, formed a tight, square phalanx, and the other faction then linked hands in an encircling formation. Only the fact that the encirclement maneuver missed the phalanx by the distance of a single Frisbee throw prevented actual violence.
A close call in the Battle of Bearsquat: Hippy factions nearly come to blows.
Waterfall Patchouli, the spokeswoman for one faction, stated her group's views. "We Rainbow Children are into nature worship, free love, use of recreational herbs, and the selfless sharing of all food and material things with our Brothers and Sisters. But those people," she nodded across a muddy field toward the opposing faction, "are just a gang of neo-primitives, who like to fuck, smoke weed, and generally mooch off one another. What kind of shit is that?"
Across the clearing, Jimmy "Hacky" Slack, leader of the opposing Sunny Tribe, had a strongly contrasting viewpoint. "We're a real groovy bunch of dudes and chicks, man. All we want from the Cosmos is to be able to lay down our thanks to Mother Nature, make sweet love like free people, fire up some doobies, and reject this whole fucked-up private property thing, man." Slack continued, "Those dudes, they got it all backwards, like. They squander all of Nature's bounty, fuck like rabbits, get stoned all the time, and act as though anything they see is theirs. What a bunch of squares. And they can't even see what they've become, man."
Within hours, the two factions themselves were breaking up into smaller and smaller bickering sub-groups. The Hippies began to leave the encampment in ones and twos.
The hard feelings and deep philosophical differences seem to doom any chance of a future Hippy reunion. One Hippy shouted to another who was packing his VW minibus: "See you in the next life, asshole! And I'll be ready for you with a flyswatter!"
"This," said one young lady sadly, "could be the end of organized Hippydom."
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 11/17/2006 06:22:56
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