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 PETA has armed Bigfoot
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 11/28/2006 :  20:08:15  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
Animal rights group takes species protection to “a whole 'nother level”

Ukiah, California, November 28, 2006 (ANS) -- The controversial animal-rights group PETA today announced that they have been “arming, equipping, and training” Bigfoot for the last year.


Bigfoot in infantry exercise, equipped
with MAC-10 and other military gear

“Cryptoid species across the earth are threatened by extinction,” proclaimed Harry Babbins, PETA spokesman. “But Bigfoot stands out from the other endangered species. He's large, highly intelligent, and capable of manipulating tools. So we decided that in the case of Bigfoot, we could do something about the problem.”

Babbins continued, “First, we humanely trapped one Bigfoot, and eventually were able to communicate with him via sign language. As soon as he understood what we wanted to do, we released him. Soon, he returned with fifty other Bigfeet. We trained this first group in modern guerrilla tactics and equipped them with light infantry weaponry. Wash rinse, repeat: There are now over 300 trained Bigfoot warrior cadres throughout the Northwest, with caches of weapons, ammo, and supplies hidden deep within the forests.

“Not only is the Bigfoot species now able to defend itself, within months we have been promised that they will launch a genocidal war against humans living in remote areas.”


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.

Edited by - HalfMooner on 11/29/2006 06:22:42

McQ
Skeptic Friend

USA
258 Posts

Posted - 11/28/2006 :  20:19:07   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send McQ a Private Message
Wow! What's amazing is that they're apparently even arming the females. Cool....chicks with guns!


Elvis didn't do no drugs!
--Penn Gillette
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard

USA
4907 Posts

Posted - 11/28/2006 :  23:30:13   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Ricky an AOL message Send Ricky a Private Message
quote:
Cool....chicks with guns!


Don't get any ideas though. PETA (publicly) frowns upon that.

I thought this one could have used something more. Perhaps a twist of irony? Bigfoot took the guns and killed hundreds of PETA members?

Why continue? Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand who hug their superstitions to their breast.
- Isaac Asimov
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 11/29/2006 :  00:16:19   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
But it'd be cool with PETA if one of those big females just came along and dragged me somebody off and had her way with me them, right? I mean, then it wouldn't be any of their business.


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.
Edited by - HalfMooner on 11/29/2006 00:18:08
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