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Randy
SFN Regular

USA
1990 Posts

Posted - 11/29/2006 :  15:57:43  Show Profile Send Randy a Private Message
Just in, from the Onion.
Enjoy!...

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/55807

...snip:

"To enforce the law, Kansas state police will be trained to investigate and apprehend organisms who exhibit suspected signs of evolutionary behavior, such as natural selection or speciation. Plans are underway to track and monitor DNA strands in every Kansan life form for even the slightest change in allele frequencies."

"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."

"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson

HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 11/29/2006 :  16:14:22   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
Now they're talking! Why spend endless years battling the science of evolution, when you can go straight to the process itself and shut it down? Kansans have themselves shown admirable resistance to the natural process. It's high time they stopped it in nature, before some prairie dog out-evolves them.

(The Onion again makes me so jealous!)


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard

USA
4907 Posts

Posted - 11/29/2006 :  17:16:04   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Ricky an AOL message Send Ricky a Private Message
That is quite possibly the best Onion article I've read yet. It just kept on getting better and better:

quote:
Anti-evolutionists such as Hellenbaum have long accused microorganisms of popularizing "an otherwise obscure, agonizingly slow, and hard-to-understand" biological process. "These repeat offenders are at the root of the problem," Hellenbaum said. "We have the fossil records to prove it."


and

quote:
"If Earth's species were meant to change over successive generations through physical modifications resulting from the adaptation to environmental challenges, then God would have given them the genetic predisposition to select mates and reproduce based on their favorable heritable traits and their ability to thrive under changing conditions so that these advantageous qualities would be passed down and eventually encoded into the DNA of each generation of offspring," Olathe public school teacher and creationist Joyce Eckhardt said. "It's just not natural."

Why continue? Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand who hug their superstitions to their breast.
- Isaac Asimov
Edited by - Ricky on 11/29/2006 17:16:25
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 11/29/2006 :  17:28:11   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
"That is quite possibly the best Onion article I've read yet. It just kept on getting better and better."

Yeah, unlike my attempts. The bastards.


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.
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