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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 12/19/2008 : 05:00:36
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'Tis that time of year yet again and nativity scenes are popping up everywhere, turning once attractive bits of property into smarmy, single-subject cartoons. And millions of dollars are blithely tossed out to illuminate them. There's nothing wrong with this, although many displays are little more than gaudy, Biblical eyesores that would be better left in the attic.
At any rate, there are some folks who who take real & rude exception to these sanctimonious expressions of poor taste. They skulk about in the night, guerrilla-style, and put the snatch on poor Baby Jesus! Why, sometimes they even decapitate the little fucker right there in his manger! There is no finer Yuletide tradition than kidnapping or decapitating the hated Baby Jesus dolls put out in public at this time of year by the very people who would be most upset by the kidnapping or decapitation of Baby Jesus dolls. It is a terrible outrage, this thing that happens every year, everywhere. Let's enjoy a Children's Treasury of 2008 Childish Attacks on U.S. Nativity Scenes. Talk about making the Baby Jesus cry!
The creche infants are collected each year by a shadowy cult — Satanists or Mormons or Scientologists or Paultards or Michele Bachmann's nineteen kids, who knows?! — so that the stem cells of the plastic babies can be harvested for a new race of Gods being bred in, uhm, probably Paraguay (or Russia). This clone army will reach maturity on or about January 20. Meanwhile, the hapless victims of this victimless crime spree just whine to the local newspapers, like every year.
Here are some hilarious bits of Xmas Journalism, along with Xtra Special Bonus Reader Comments thrown in, because why not:
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Why not indeed, but oh, what horrors must be inflicted upon the plastic flesh of the innocent effigy in the dark of the moon! What dreadful and blasphemous ceremonies is it forced to take part in? The very thought is almost too much to bear.
And with that, I'll wish one & all the best of the Solstice Season. Tomorrow morning, I'll be celebrating at my elder daughter's house with food & drink & the swapping gifts, and the singing of profane songs. And then, during this, the longest night of the year, we'll all go Baby Jesus hunting. 
Wishing the best of the season to one & all! 
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 12/19/2008 : 08:01:35 [Permalink]
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Well, they are kinda in a muddle in this one, aren't they. If they complain that "injuring" or stealing a baby Jesus doll is blasphemy, then they must admit it is a graven idol.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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marfknox
SFN Die Hard
USA
3739 Posts |
Posted - 12/19/2008 : 15:16:29 [Permalink]
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Indeed, Halfmooner! And how ironic when Protestant Christians say such things given the history of the iconoclasm.
A friend of mine told me he read an article about a church that used a GPS system on their baby Jesus, and when it was stolen it lead them to another church's nativity scene! But I just spent about 10 minutes trying to find the story and failed. Anybody else read something like that and got a link?
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"Too much certainty and clarity could lead to cruel intolerance" -Karen Armstrong
Check out my art store: http://www.marfknox.etsy.com
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 12/19/2008 : 17:11:29 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by marfknox
Indeed, Halfmooner! And how ironic when Protestant Christians say such things given the history of the iconoclasm.
A friend of mine told me he read an article about a church that used a GPS system on their baby Jesus, and when it was stolen it lead them to another church's nativity scene! But I just spent about 10 minutes trying to find the story and failed. Anybody else read something like that and got a link?
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I didn't see that one, but (whether it happened or not) it's hilarious and illustrates a larger truth. Indeed, what I'd expected to see in the dire event the fundies were successful with a complete theocratic take-over was the immediate beginning of outright bloody wars between the sects. After all, nearly every fundamentalist church thinks its own doctrine is gospel, and all others heresy.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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Trish
SFN Addict
USA
2102 Posts |
Posted - 12/20/2008 : 19:21:39 [Permalink]
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marf, I know the story. I caught it on the tube. Couldn't tell you which channel. But I think one of the majors though.
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...no one has ever found a 4.5 billion year old stone artifact (at the right geological stratum) with the words "Made by God."
No Sense of Obligation by Matt Young
"Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith. I consider the capacity for it terrifying and vile!"
Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
They (Women Marines) don't have a nickname, and they don't need one. They get their basic training in a Marine atmosphere, at a Marine Post. They inherit the traditions of the Marines. They are Marines.
LtGen Thomas Holcomb, USMC
Commandant of the Marine Corps, 1943
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/21/2008 : 04:37:45 [Permalink]
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Simply adding more evidence to the overwhelming plethora of it that all people are pretty much the same in that they can rationalize anything. Stealing Jesus for Jesus seems a little silly, but so much not out of the ordinary.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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The stupid season is offically here (Hooray)!
