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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 02/06/2009 : 17:31:21
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I could not bring myself to put this in Religion or Creation/Evolution. At first glance, it might do in Humor, but it's not exactly humorous except in a demented, freak-show sort of way, which is very funny, really, but....... Anyhow:
“Mission Statement
The goal of Project Pterosaur is to mount an expedition to locate and bring back to the United States living specimens of pterosaurs or their fertile eggs, which will be displayed in a Pterosaur Rookery that will be the center piece of the planned Fellowship Creation Science Museum and Research Institute (FCSMRI). Furthermore, the rookery facility will establish a breeding colony of pterosaurs in order to produce specimens that could then be put on display by other regional institutions or church groups. By doing all this, we hope to accomplish three goals:
1.Support Creation Theory by showing the incorrectness of the philosophy of Evolutionism.
2.Educate the population about Creation Science.
3.Create excitement about Creation and the Bible in the public.
I (Dr. Paley) am the founder and Chief Officer of the project. I will also be leading the expedition and acting as Science Liaison to the public. Funding is being provided by Fellowship University, the Fairlight Institute, and donations from wealthy Christian businessmen who wish to remain anonymous at this time.
Why Look For Living Pterosaurs?
Kids love pterosaurs! Once Project Pterosaur is complete, children's eyes will be opened to the wonder of Creation.
Evolutionists have engaged in a propaganda campaign to trick the public into falsely believing that the Earth is billions of years old and that many animals which lived side-by-side with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden actually died millions of years before humans were created (or "evolved" in their twisted view.) By finding and displaying living examples of what the Evolutionists claim is impossible, we will sow the seeds of Evolutionism doubt, thereby making the public receptive to the truth of the Bible.
While there are other extant creatures which Evolutionists claim have gone extinct long before man, they are not as ideal for our purposes as pterosaurs. Some of the alternatives are:
Apatosaurs: Still live in the jungles of the Congo. They are too large for our planned facilities (and especially for those of the church groups who would wish to borrow them) and breeding would be difficult given their presumably longer life cycle.
Plesiosaurs: Are reported living in many lakes and their carcasses have been found in the oceans by fishermen. However, they are notoriously difficult to find alive and would require a large and expensive aquatic facility to display them.
Trilobites: We know they still live in the oceanic depths from body parts that have been found washed ashore. They would require very expensive submersible vehicles and pressurized display tanks.
Velociraptors: Today terrorize the goat herders of Puerto Rico and are rumored to guard the remains of the Ark on Mt. Ararat. They have become vicious since the Fall as the result of the effects of genetic entropy, making them too dangerous for the sort of interactive public experience we have in mind.
In comparison, pterosaurs are a blessing from the Lord: Many reported living species are of reasonable size, making housing and care affordable; although they've become carnivorous, they should be as trainable as the birds of prey commonly allowed to interact with zoo visitors during bird shows; their life cycle appears to be relatively short, making it easier to establish a productive breeding program; and finally, historical and modern reports of pterosaurs are much more common than any of the other Evolutionistically anomalous cryptids, suggesting that large populations are waiting to be revealed to our increasingly unbelieving world.”
Well, heh, so far, so good (snicker). Let's check out the proposed itinerary for this massacree:
”Phase I. Research, Preparations, & Expedition
Secure funding. [75% complete]
Research possible pterosaur colony locations and plan expedition accordingly.
Secure necessary supplies and permits for expedition.
Construct components of rookery complex necessary for immediate housing and care of pterosaurs upon return. [10% complete]
Finalize expedition team.
Mount expedition.
Locate and return pterosaur eggs and/or mature specimens.
Ensure health and viability of specimens.
Phase II. Publicity & Facility Construction
Mount extensive media campaign that will include:
Documentaries on respectable television networks (TBN, CBN, Faith TV, Daystar, etc.)
Books aimed at different audiences (technical, autobiographical adventure, children's, etc.)
Magazine articles and photo spreads (Reader's Digest, Creation, etc.)
Guest appearances on TV news magazines and talk shows (The 700 Club, Praise the Lord, etc.)
A movie dramatization of the expedition (using a non-Hollywood production company such as Cloud Ten Pictures).
Educational merchandise tie-ins (stuffed pterosaurs, Creation Science Explorers action figures, etc.).
Finish rookery complex guest facilities and construct Creation Science Museum facilities.
Open rookery and museum to general public (rookery may be opened sooner to capitalize on media attention).
Phase III. Cultural Confrontation & Renewal
Breed pterosaurs and establish specimen loan/donation program for Churches and schools.
Create Fellowship Creation Science Museum franchise/certification program.
Develop or attract legal defense/reconstruction expertise through Research Institute.
Use pterosaurs to educate public about Creation Science and expose the flaws of Evolutionism.
End Evolutionistic hegemony.”
Please excuse me, I must go and weep for a while. After a few minutes, laughter becomes hysterics.
Ok, all better now....
”Our preliminary list of expedition sites we are considering in Africa is as follows:
Candidate Sites
Gashaka-Gumti National Park, Nigeria:
This remote and mountainous park is large (over 4000 square miles) and mostly unexplored, except by the few natives who live within its borders. On the park's southern boundary lies the highest peak in Nigeria, the 7936 ft. Chappal Waddi ("Mountain of Death"). This peak is near the border with Cameroon, where eagle-sized rhamphorhynchoid pterosaurs locally called olitiau have been reported. It is likely that the pterosaur population reaches into Gashaka-Gumti, as the cliffs of Chappal Waddi would provide an excellent roosting habitat and the park's many mountain forests would keep them fed with fresh monkeys.
Mt. Kilimanjaro, Tanzania:
There have been numerous sightings of pterosaurs circling Mt. Kilimanjaro, the tallest mountain in Africa. It is likely that they roost among its steep, inaccessible cliffs. Although reports are unclear, the pterosaurs are probably pterodactyloid, as their larger size will help protect them from the colder climate. However, it is likely that allied rhamphorhynchoid kinds could be found at lower elevations. Technical note: choice of this location will require mountain climbing gear and hiring of experienced alpinists.
West Lunga National Park, Zambia:
Northwestern Zambia was the source of the first modern African pterosaur reports to reach civilization in the 1920s. West Lunga National Park is in the same area as those reports (the Mwinilunga District) and has many swamps, which are the natural habitat of the native kongamato pterosaurs. The park is relatively isolated and much undisturbed wildlife can be found there.
Ghana:
Local legends confirm the existence here of a pterodactyloid creature called the sasabonsam and it is likely that smaller rhamphorhynchoids could also be found. Ghana is home to many heavily forested parks that could contain pterosaurs. Kakum National Park, with its network of forest canopy walkways allowing greater pterosaur spotting opportunities, is the most attractive from a pterosaurlogical perspective. However, we are also considering Bui National Park, both for it's biomic compatibility with pterosaur-like bat populations and since Halliburton is building a hydroelectric dam there. Halliburton's presence means we can expect better access opportunities through the synergy of private sector and faithbased US government initiatives.”
It continues, but I cannot. However, if anyone is looking for a job......
”Project Pterosaur Expedition Team
Position
Team Member (Affiliation)
Expedition Leader/Theobiologist
Dr. Richard Paley (Fellowship University)
Pterosaurologist
Position not filled
Baraminologist
Dr. Gustav Vogl (Kreationwissenschaftmuseum Wien)
Intelligent Design Theoretician
Position not filled
Communications Technician
Position not filled
Missiological Technician
Andy Miller (Mt. Fellowship Church)
Medical/Veterinary Field Doctor
Position not filled
Tracker
Position not filled
Videographer/Documentarian
Position not filled
Local Guides & Assorted Porters
To be hired on location”
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2009 : 17:36:02 [Permalink]
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God, creationists remind me so much of little kids playing dress-up. They fancy themselves explores and adventurers, so they put on daddy's boots and tromp around the back yard searching for dinosaurs. But they they are way past the age when this behavior could be considered amusing.
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"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2009 : 18:05:28 [Permalink]
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If it looks like the Onion, smells like the Onion, it must be the Onion.
(I swear to bubba-dog the article could easily pass for it, anyway.) |
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2009 : 18:15:14 [Permalink]
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I'm unsure. I was fooled by a spoof site like this once. But deliberate spoof or not, it's hilarious and it certainly works wonders in making the Creos look ridiculous.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2009 : 19:09:35 [Permalink]
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Dr. Richard Paley is the real deal, or about as real as any these charecters get. He's pretty much in the mould of kent Hovind.  He teachs Divinety and something called "Theobiology" at some YEC school or other.
I think this article is an older one, as I seem to vaguely recall seeing it, or something very like it, before.
Hello, my name is Dr. Richard Paley. I am a Creation Scientist. This means that I study the Natural World to find evidence of the handiwork of the Lord and His divine act of Creation. Creation Science is the root science of all sciences; without it, none of the discoveries from other scientific fields makes any sense. Creation Science lets us put biology, geology, physics, and sociology all into a proper Biblical perspective, unifying our knowledge and bringing us closer to the Lord.
The good folks at OBJECTIVE: Ministries and Fellowship Baptist have given me here a forum to present Creation Science to laypersons; to carry out the objective of Creation education. To that end, I will periodically post articles explaining various discoveries and research in the field of Creation Science. It is my fond hope that those ignorant of Creation Science will learn about this exciting and important field and that this will spur them on to further their learning about our Lord, His teachings, and His plan for our futures.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2009 : 19:48:17 [Permalink]
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Well, Richard Paley certainly writes better humor that I do. I can't approach the manner in which he makes a mockery of "Creation Science."
And that banner at the top of your linked page, Filthy: "Free Kent! Creation Science Isn't a Crime!" That's a hoot all by itself. It would lose all its humor if "(But Tax Fraud Is!)" were tacked onto the bottom.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 02/06/2009 19:48:42 |
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Archereon
New Member
New Zealand
32 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2009 : 20:48:47 [Permalink]
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| From memory, as in I can't be bothered checking right now, this site is completely poe, its owned by those fine folks over at landover baptist |
West Ham Claret and Blue Army NZ div |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26020 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2009 : 20:49:39 [Permalink]
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| Actually, I'm pretty sure that Objective Minitries is as much of a joke as Landover Baptist. I'm pretty sure that they are Poe-ing around the Web together. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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Archereon
New Member
New Zealand
32 Posts |
 Posted - 02/06/2009 : 21:31:53 [Permalink]
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| Well there is a big clue in the name, Paley author of Natural Theology ("In crossing a heath, suppose I pitched my foot against a stone, and were asked how the stone came to be there: I might possibly answer, that for any thing I know to the contrary, it had lain there for ever: nor would it perhaps be very easy to show the absurdity of this answer. But suppose I had found a watch upon the ground, and it should be inquired how the watch happened to be in that place; I should hardly think of the answer which I had before given, that for any thing I knew, the watch might have always been there.) He also has fun editing conservapedia |
West Ham Claret and Blue Army NZ div |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2009 : 21:45:03 [Permalink]
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That guy's good indeed. He has Conservapedia shaking its tiny collective head. Let's not let Paley's cats (or kangaroos) out of his bag, shall we?
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 02/06/2009 22:04:23 |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2009 : 03:13:51 [Permalink]
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Landover, eh? I knew I'd seen that article somewhere before!
Pretty good, isn't it -- it proves Poe's beyond any doubt or argument.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2009 : 06:44:32 [Permalink]
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Someone, incognito, run the link over to the Rapture Ready message board...see what they make of it.
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"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26020 Posts |
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend
Sweden
9687 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2009 : 13:55:37 [Permalink]
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I though LOL-Christ was a good clue.
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Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3
"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse
Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder. |
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chaloobi
SFN Regular
1620 Posts |
Posted - 02/09/2009 : 08:34:45 [Permalink]
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#2. I'm truly disappointed this is a hoax. I'm qualified for any of those positions.
#4. If this were for real and if they did find a live dinosaur, it doesn't actually prove creation science. Try to tell them that though. They still think pointing fingers at gaps in knowledge of evolution will somehow prove creation science... |
-Chaloobi
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Poe's Law: Is this whackadoodle serious?
