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Ebone4rock
SFN Regular
USA
894 Posts |
 Posted - 05/10/2010 : 06:04:01
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A custom that I am frequently subjected to by my in law family is praying at meal time.
I'm not talking a nice short " Good bread good meat good God lets eat" but a long drawn out process where the person doing the praying racks his/her brain to try to think of everyone and everything possible to bless. The whole process can take anywhere from 2-5 minutes. Sometimes the food is cold by the time this whole praying process is over.
It doesn't just happen for a home cooked meal at someones house. It happens at restaurants, McRonalds, or even just grabbing a quick hotdog somewhere.
Sometimes my brother in law will throw me under the bus and say " I think it's E-Bone's turn to pray". At that point I will usually say "No, Sissy is much better at praying" and then kick his ass later when no one is looking.
Sometimes when I am particularly annoyed I will be flipping the bird under the table while the praying is going on. Immature and disrespectful, I know, but it makes me feel better.
Does anyone else have to deal with this? If so what do you do?
Comments are also welcome.
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Haole with heart, thats all I'll ever be. I'm not a part of the North Shore society. Stuck on the shoulder, that's where you'll find me. Digging for scraps with the kooks in line. -Offspring |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 07:09:12 [Permalink]
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I've tolerated it at other people's homes, but I always pray that the food will be at least warm when we finally get to tuck in.
Cold food that was intended to be served hot is near the top of my Revulsion List.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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| Edited by - filthy on 05/10/2010 07:15:17 |
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Gorgo
SFN Die Hard
USA
5310 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 07:49:45 [Permalink]
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I don't mind them praying, but then they have to hold hands to get us involved. Two of the people at our table want to show people that they pray, and the other five of us have to hold hands.
Then, yeah, how long does it take to pray to someone who knows what you're thinking before you thought it? |
I know the rent is in arrears
The dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears
But it's alright-
Jerry Garcia
Robert Hunter
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| Edited by - Gorgo on 05/10/2010 07:50:14 |
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Ebone4rock
SFN Regular
USA
894 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 08:08:43 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Gorgo
I don't mind them praying, but then they have to hold hands to get us involved. Two of the people at our table want to show people that they pray, and the other five of us have to hold hands.
Then, yeah, how long does it take to pray to someone who knows what you're thinking before you thought it?
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We do hand holding maybe half the time. I hate that the most because then I cannot express myself by extending my middle finger under the table.
You brought up a very good question. The members of my family are the type who think that God knows what's going on all the time even in your head. What's the point of all this praying when he is already supposed to know what's going on?
Someday when my testicles expand maybe I will ask one of them. |
Haole with heart, thats all I'll ever be. I'm not a part of the North Shore society. Stuck on the shoulder, that's where you'll find me. Digging for scraps with the kooks in line. -Offspring |
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 10:14:09 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Ebone4rock
Sometimes my brother in law will throw me under the bus and say " I think it's E-Bone's turn to pray". At that point I will usually say "No, Sissy is much better at praying" and then kick his ass later when no one is looking. |
Sounds like you are passing up a perfectly good opportunity to eat your food while it's still hot. Next time they want you to say grace, accept and say "Thank you, god, for everything. Since you are all-knowing, you already know everyone we want to thank. Amen." Then chow down. If they don't like you're style, eventually they'll stop asking you to lead prayer. But maybe a few will be grateful that you don't use it as an opportunity to show off how pious you are and appreciate their warm food as well.
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"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
| Edited by - H. Humbert on 05/10/2010 10:15:36 |
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astropin
SFN Regular
USA
970 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 10:23:23 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by H. Humbert
Originally posted by Ebone4rock
Sometimes my brother in law will throw me under the bus and say " I think it's E-Bone's turn to pray". At that point I will usually say "No, Sissy is much better at praying" and then kick his ass later when no one is looking. |
Sounds like you are passing up a perfectly good opportunity to eat your food while it's still hot. Next time they want you to say grace, accept and say "Thank you, god, for everything. Since you are all-knowing, you already know everyone we want to thank. Amen." Then chow down. If they don't like you're style, eventually they'll stop asking you to lead prayer. But maybe a few will be grateful that you don't use it as an opportunity to show off how pious you are and appreciate their warm food as well.
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+1.....good call. |
I would rather face a cold reality than delude myself with comforting fantasies.
You are free to believe what you want to believe and I am free to ridicule you for it.
Atheism:
The result of an unbiased and rational search for the truth.
Infinitus est numerus stultorum |
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astropin
SFN Regular
USA
970 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 10:24:57 [Permalink]
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| Thankfully my In-Laws don't take it that far. In fact lately they have not even been praying before we eat.....I'm liking it! |
I would rather face a cold reality than delude myself with comforting fantasies.
You are free to believe what you want to believe and I am free to ridicule you for it.
Atheism:
The result of an unbiased and rational search for the truth.
Infinitus est numerus stultorum |
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Ebone4rock
SFN Regular
USA
894 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 10:34:45 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by H. Humbert
Originally posted by Ebone4rock
Sometimes my brother in law will throw me under the bus and say " I think it's E-Bone's turn to pray". At that point I will usually say "No, Sissy is much better at praying" and then kick his ass later when no one is looking. |
Sounds like you are passing up a perfectly good opportunity to eat your food while it's still hot. Next time they want you to say grace, accept and say "Thank you, god, for everything. Since you are all-knowing, you already know everyone we want to thank. Amen." Then chow down. If they don't like you're style, eventually they'll stop asking you to lead prayer. But maybe a few will be grateful that you don't use it as an opportunity to show off how pious you are and appreciate their warm food as well.
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This idea is good in theory but I in no way want to give them the impression that I might beleive in God. It is just my brother in law being a smartass when he recommends me to lead the prayer. He knows I'm an Atheist.
Another thing is that side of the family thinks that the longer and more rambling a prayer is the better it is.
An example:
" We would like to thank you God for this day and bringing everyone together and for this food and for the leaves on the trees that are budding and for Grandpa's diabetis being under control and for making sure the plane wasn't late and for having the van for sale that Jim just bought and for making sure the dog had a good checkup at the vet and for not letting the tornado hit our house and.................."
A prayer like this would get a standing ovation.
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Haole with heart, thats all I'll ever be. I'm not a part of the North Shore society. Stuck on the shoulder, that's where you'll find me. Digging for scraps with the kooks in line. -Offspring |
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BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard
3192 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 10:55:45 [Permalink]
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I always thank everyone but God, "Thank you to the farmers who worked so hard to bring us this meal etc."
This is the only out you have, cause we all know that any objection you have means you are evil. Naturally their guilt-trip induced assumed participation could NEVER be offensive to anyone right?
If you really have some big balls (and want a divorce) you could say "As you know that I am not a member of 'X' I find your efforts to force me to participate in your religious rituals offensive, I will wait in the other room until you are finished."
Or you could find some other pre-meal religious practice that you know they would detest, and just invite them over for dinner..."Mom(in-law) would you like to evicerate this living chicken as our sacrifice to Kali?"
EDIT: Better yet, find some forgotten horrifing Biblical pre-meal ritual for them. |
"...things I have neither seen nor experienced nor heard tell of from anybody else; things, what is more, that do not in fact exist and could not ever exist at all. So my readers must not believe a word I say." -Lucian on his book True History
"...They accept such things on faith alone, without any evidence. So if a fraudulent and cunning person who knows how to take advantage of a situation comes among them, he can make himself rich in a short time." -Lucian critical of early Christians c.166 AD From his book, De Morte Peregrini |
| Edited by - BigPapaSmurf on 05/10/2010 10:58:36 |
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Ebone4rock
SFN Regular
USA
894 Posts |
 Posted - 05/10/2010 : 11:04:43 [Permalink]
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I always thank everyone but God, "Thank you to the farmers who worked so hard to bring us this meal etc."
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Holy shit. This answer is so simple yet I never thought about doing it. Thanks.
| EDIT: Better yet, find some forgotten horrifing Biblical pre-meal ritual for them. |
This would be fun although I don't know if they would get it. I see each of them reading religious books....but none of them are the actual Bible. |
Haole with heart, thats all I'll ever be. I'm not a part of the North Shore society. Stuck on the shoulder, that's where you'll find me. Digging for scraps with the kooks in line. -Offspring |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 11:28:49 [Permalink]
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BigPapa's advice was on the money,
I would also suggest asking to lead the saying of grace, by reciting this, from Matthew:6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. |
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 11:39:49 [Permalink]
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Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing. ~~ Bart Simpson
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 12:03:46 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Ebone4rock
This idea is good in theory but I in no way want to give them the impression that I might beleive in God. |
Then you could always just say "Buddha, Buddha, thanks for the food-ah."
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"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
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ThorGoLucky
Snuggle Wolf
USA
1486 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 15:06:38 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Ebone4rock
I always thank everyone but God, "Thank you to the farmers who worked so hard to bring us this meal etc."
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Holy shit. This answer is so simple yet I never thought about doing it. Thanks.
| EDIT: Better yet, find some forgotten horrifing Biblical pre-meal ritual for them. |
This would be fun although I don't know if they would get it. I see each of them reading religious books....but none of them are the actual Bible.
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Thank modern industrialized civilization for the bounty and liberalism to be able to eat in relative peace and freedom.
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Machi4velli
SFN Regular
USA
854 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 16:09:16 [Permalink]
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| Just don't participate. No point making a big deal about it. None of those oppressed minority routines like the ones Christians tend to do for themselves (while being a majority by most any measure). If there's a direct question, just say you personally don't believe in the ritual, otherwise, just sit there and let them do their ritual. That's what I do when the situation presents itself anyway. I cannot tell them what to do or believe and vice versa. |
"Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people."
-Giordano Bruno
"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, but the illusion of knowledge."
-Stephen Hawking
"Seeking what is true is not seeking what is desirable"
-Albert Camus |
| Edited by - Machi4velli on 05/10/2010 16:10:48 |
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 05/10/2010 : 17:24:30 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Machi4velli
If there's a direct question, just say you personally don't believe in the ritual, otherwise, just sit there and let them do their ritual.
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Or just start eating. I mean if their ritual is taking so long that food is going cold, I see no reason to keep sitting there mute and motionless.
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"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
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Praying at meal time
