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marfknox
SFN Die Hard
USA
3739 Posts |
 Posted - 11/07/2011 : 08:31:22
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Sick, just sick. Three kids adopted by conservative Christian families are dead from being physically abused as a form of discipline. All three families read the same book and applied some of the methods advocated in the book to abuse their kids. The book is self published, and the author bases his advice entirely on the Bible and I guess his own "common sense", not on anything rational.
| But on the central issue, he (the author) and his wife do not waver. “To give up the use of the rod is to give up our views of human nature, God, eternity,” they write. |
There is no excuse for this behavior or thinking from people who are literate and who live in a society where we have access to all kinds of info on what parenting methods are effective and which are not only ineffective, but harmful. Of course there is no one way to properly parent, but some things are clearly outside of the scope of what has been shown to be healthy. You don't train a child like a fucking mule.
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"Too much certainty and clarity could lead to cruel intolerance" -Karen Armstrong
Check out my art store: http://www.marfknox.etsy.com
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Hal
Skeptic Friend
USA
302 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2011 : 09:25:49 [Permalink]
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Damn it, I can't even say "Wow!" at stuff like this anymore.
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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2011 : 09:38:41 [Permalink]
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| When society follows a religion that includes garbage like this, it's a small wonder it doesn't happen more than it does. |
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
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ThorGoLucky
Snuggle Wolf
USA
1486 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2011 : 14:51:11 [Permalink]
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Originally posted by Randy
When society follows a religion that includes garbage like this, it's a small wonder it doesn't happen more than it does.
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And http://scripturetext.com/psalms/137-9.htm (in reference to enemy's babies so it's ok!)
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| Edited by - ThorGoLucky on 11/07/2011 14:52:18 |
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marfknox
SFN Die Hard
USA
3739 Posts |
Posted - 11/08/2011 : 06:35:09 [Permalink]
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Gwen Dewar posted some more quotes from the guy's book and commentary on her blog: The Pearls say they don’t advocate corporal punishment for babies. “In short,” Michael Pearl writes on his website, “the small child under three years old is not fully capable of profiting from either punishment or reproof.”
But he goes on to recommend “swatting” a 6-month-old for engaging in a developmentally normal, cognitively stimulating experiment: Throwing your food on the floor.
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Pearl explains how to handle an older child who refuses to eat his food:
“If you think it is appropriate and you spank him make sure that it is not a token spanking. Light, swatting spankings, done in anger without courtroom dignity will make children mad because they sense that they have been bullied by an antagonist. A proper spanking leaves children without breath to complain,” Pearl writes. “If he should tell you that the spanking makes him madder, spank him again. If he is still mad…. He desperately needs an unswayable authority, a cold rock of justice. Keep in mind that if you are angry you are wasting your time trying to spank his anger away.”
But if you do it the right way–Pearl’s way–you will get results. “I could break his anger in two days. He would be too scared to get angry.”
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And even more important — to me — is the lack of critical thinking that the Pearls’ advocate. Not just with children. But with adults. And for this, I hold them morally accountable. |
No critical thinking is right. I can't imagine raising my kids using fear (instead of cultivating respect and particular values.)
This pastor is an irresponsible sonovabitch. How does he not realize that his advice and behavior will inevitably be applied in abusive ways? Anyone who has ever been a parent knows that parents get angry at kids all the time. As soon as one opens the door to violence, especially violence done with objects chosen specifically because they are unlikely to leave a mark, but will still inflict pain (Gee, why make effort to leave no evidence? Don't want any visits from children's services?) one has opened the door to a strong and dangerous temptation. Humans are particularly good at rationalizing our actions. So of course many parents who apply discipline which regularly incorporates violence are going to use it in anger! What's more, the kids are likely to the turn around and commit acts of violence toward those they have power over (younger, weaker kids and animals) as they put into immature practice the example they have been provided.
So fucked up. |
"Too much certainty and clarity could lead to cruel intolerance" -Karen Armstrong
Check out my art store: http://www.marfknox.etsy.com
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marfknox
SFN Die Hard
USA
3739 Posts |
Posted - 11/08/2011 : 06:54:51 [Permalink]
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About the classifications of different parenting styles. These peoples' approach is obvious an extreme version of Authoritarian.
| Research on children's development shows that the most positive outcomes for children occur when parents use democratic styles. Children with permissive parents tend to be aggressive and act out, while children with authoritarian parents tend to be compliant and submissive and have low self-esteem. |
From the Wikipedia article on Parenting Styles, Authoritarian (my emphasis in bold):
| If the demands are pushed too forcefully upon the child, the child will break down, rebel, or run away. |
That meshes with the studies Gwen Dewar mentioned in her article that say that | kids adapt to physical punishment by becoming more devious. Other studies suggest that regular spanking leads to increased child aggression over time. |
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"Too much certainty and clarity could lead to cruel intolerance" -Karen Armstrong
Check out my art store: http://www.marfknox.etsy.com
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sailingsoul
SFN Addict
2830 Posts |
Posted - 11/08/2011 : 07:42:47 [Permalink]
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| This is a very troubling book. A prime example of how there is no violation of logic or twisted behavior that not permitted or deemed permissible when tethered to the authority of the Bible. This has been going on since the Bible's been around. To bad there isn't a prosecutor that has the balls to bring up some charges directed at Michael Pearl. I don't believe that will happen or will bare fruit should it. I certainly don't see this type of crime being addressed with the same zeal as other more trivial matters. This activity needs more exposure than it gets. |
There are only two types of religious people, the deceivers and the deceived. SS |
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dcastle
New Member
6 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2012 : 16:44:54 [Permalink]
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There are just times that people think they are doing something good for the child they are bunking on discipline with and most of the time, they would be just right with the punishment they put up but in certain cases that they go over board, the consequences are final and ultimate.
It is not good to harm others and in their defense, they are doing this for discipline. |
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Three Children Dead From Abusive Discipline
