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 Falwell funeral detracts billions
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 05/22/2007 :  15:24:52  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message  Reply with Quote
When Bigots Die, Demons Cry

Everywhere But Lynchburg, Virginia, May 22, 2007 (WTF) -- The funeral of fat, wealthy televangelist and loathsome right-wing bigot Jerry Falwell today was unattended by approximately 6,914,110,000 of the world's people. Of these, an estimated 301,541,000 of his fellow American citizens failed to participate. His fellow Virginians also stayed away in droves: Some 7,537,465 of them were missing from the ceremony.


Jerry Falwell, August 11, 1933 – May 15, 2007: He overstayed his welcome.

In life, Jerry Falwell was known for many things. In death it is devoutly hoped that he will be best remembered as a horrible example.


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.

Edited by - HalfMooner on 05/22/2007 21:54:54

JohnOAS
SFN Regular

Australia
800 Posts

Posted - 05/22/2007 :  19:45:42   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit JohnOAS's Homepage Send JohnOAS a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by HalfMooner

When Bigots Die, Demons Cry


Love the title.


John's just this guy, you know.
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 05/22/2007 :  21:53:40   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Thank you, John. That subtitle felt a little contrived at the time, but I guess it worked.


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.
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filthy
SFN Die Hard

USA
14408 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  00:30:57   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send filthy a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Oh. I didn't know that I was supposed to be distracted. Sorry 'bout that.

I promise do better the next time he dies.




"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres


"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude

Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,

and Crypto-Communist!

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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  01:06:18   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by filthy

Oh. I didn't know that I was supposed to be distracted. Sorry 'bout that.

I promise do better the next time he dies.




"Detracted," Fil. I was reading headlines such as "Falwell funeral attracts 30,000." So I was thinking of this figure, seemingly small considering the power of the man in life, and the size of his following, etc. And this 30,000 must include just about everyone attending, teaching, or doing janitorial work at Liberty University (attendance probably mandatory), the 300 cops sent to police the affair, the media, and even the 100-odd (very odd) Phelpes.

So, aside from this 30,000, what did other people do? Wouldn't the opposite of "attract" be "detract"? Maybe I could have used, "shun," "ignore," "avoid," "flee," or "boycott."


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.
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Chippewa
SFN Regular

USA
1496 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  01:32:36   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Chippewa's Homepage Send Chippewa a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I found this supplementary headline:

Portrait of Jerry Falwell discovered in Lynchburg

Lynchburg, Virginia, May 22, 2007 (APNews): A long hidden full-size portrait of the late Jerry Falwell has been recently discovered hidden in an attic of his palatial home. "It's very mysterious," said Falwell manor custodian John Trompé. "He must have had it done long ago when he was thinner. Over the years as he grew, the portrait seems to have aged and grown a bit decrepit." Executors of the Falwell estate are currently meeting to determine to whom to donate the portrait. It has been suggested that the picture could reside in Vice President Cheney's office, but it turns out "he already has one in his attic." said a White House spokesperson.

Diversity, independence, innovation and imagination are progressive concepts ultimately alien to the conservative mind.

"TAX AND SPEND" IS GOOD! (TAX: Wealthy corporations who won't go poor even after taxes. SPEND: On public works programs, education, the environment, improvements.)
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  05:58:05   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Chippewa

I found this supplementary headline:

Portrait of Jerry Falwell discovered in Lynchburg

Lynchburg, Virginia, May 22, 2007 (APNews): A long hidden full-size portrait of the late Jerry Falwell has been recently discovered hidden in an attic of his palatial home. "It's very mysterious," said Falwell manor custodian John Trompé. "He must have had it done long ago when he was thinner. Over the years as he grew, the portrait seems to have aged and grown a bit decrepit." Executors of the Falwell estate are currently meeting to determine to whom to donate the portrait. It has been suggested that the picture could reside in Vice President Cheney's office, but it turns out "he already has one in his attic." said a White House spokesperson.

Nice, Chip! I can just picture that, though my mental image is a poe one, in simple shades of gray.


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.
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Kil
Evil Skeptic

USA
13476 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  06:42:08   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Kil's Homepage  Send Kil an AOL message  Send Kil a Yahoo! Message Send Kil a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Mooner:
Nice, Chip! I can just picture that, though my mental image is a poe one, in simple shades of gray.


You're just not seeing it from the proper dorianation...

Uncertainty may make you uncomfortable. Certainty makes you ridiculous.

Why not question something for a change?

Genetic Literacy Project
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filthy
SFN Die Hard

USA
14408 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  06:51:34   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send filthy a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by HalfMooner

Originally posted by filthy

Oh. I didn't know that I was supposed to be distracted. Sorry 'bout that.

I promise do better the next time he dies.




"Detracted," Fil. I was reading headlines such as "Falwell funeral attracts 30,000." So I was thinking of this figure, seemingly small considering the power of the man in life, and the size of his following, etc. And this 30,000 must include just about everyone attending, teaching, or doing janitorial work at Liberty University (attendance probably mandatory), the 300 cops sent to police the affair, the media, and even the 100-odd (very odd) Phelpes.

So, aside from this 30,000, what did other people do? Wouldn't the opposite of "attract" be "detract"? Maybe I could have used, "shun," "ignore," "avoid," "flee," or "boycott."


Dis-tract, dat-tract, de udder-tract, who can keep tract of it all?

I've been trying to keep myself above the fray, aside from a few, snide remarks of course. Fer 'zample, I didn't know until dis-morning that the Phelps Pickle Posse only hung around for some 45 minutes before packing it in. They wuz dis-tracted by the Christian M/C, who turned out in force to encourage them to put their show back on the road. Probably a wise decision on their part; a first for them, come to think of it.




"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres


"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude

Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,

and Crypto-Communist!

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Boron10
Religion Moderator

USA
1266 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  13:01:04   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Boron10 a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Kil

Mooner:
Nice, Chip! I can just picture that, though my mental image is a poe one, in simple shades of gray.


You're just not seeing it from the proper dorianation...
That is a Wilde suggestion!
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Cuneiformist
The Imperfectionist

USA
4955 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  13:16:46   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Cuneiformist a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Boron10

Originally posted by Kil

Mooner:
Nice, Chip! I can just picture that, though my mental image is a poe one, in simple shades of gray.


You're just not seeing it from the proper dorianation...
That is a Wilde suggestion!
Are you punning while not in chat?! I think that's a serious SFN offense....
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Boron10
Religion Moderator

USA
1266 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  14:35:30   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Boron10 a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Cuneiformist

Originally posted by Boron10

Originally posted by Kil

Mooner:
Nice, Chip! I can just picture that, though my mental image is a poe one, in simple shades of gray.


You're just not seeing it from the proper dorianation...
That is a Wilde suggestion!
Are you punning while not in chat?! I think that's a serious SFN offense....
You mean it's not an Oscar-winning performance?
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Cuneiformist
The Imperfectionist

USA
4955 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  14:49:41   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Cuneiformist a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Boron10

Originally posted by Cuneiformist

Originally posted by Boron10

Originally posted by Kil

Mooner:
Nice, Chip! I can just picture that, though my mental image is a poe one, in simple shades of gray.


You're just not seeing it from the proper dorianation...
That is a Wilde suggestion!
Are you punning while not in chat?! I think that's a serious SFN offense....
You mean it's not an Oscar-winning performance?
Just consider it poetic justice.
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Boron10
Religion Moderator

USA
1266 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  14:51:53   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Boron10 a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Cuneiformist

Just consider it poetic justice.
What does that movie have to do with anything?
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Cuneiformist
The Imperfectionist

USA
4955 Posts

Posted - 05/23/2007 :  15:00:34   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Cuneiformist a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Boron10

Originally posted by Cuneiformist

Just consider it poetic justice.
What does that movie have to do with anything?
To Oscar Wilde? Nothing. To bad puns about an Irish playwright, novelist, poet, and short story writer? everything.
Edited by - Cuneiformist on 05/23/2007 15:01:04
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