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 How not to mess up your life, 10 simple tips
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beskeptigal
SFN Die Hard

USA
3834 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2007 :  12:36:15   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send beskeptigal a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Having had a clear PMS symptom of "worry" which I began to recognize and ignore, it is an example of brain chemicals involved in some emotions which are not completely based on simple psychology or situations. I think the more research into the biological components of the behaviors this piece tries to talk people out of the better we will understand why we think what we think when berating ourselves.


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Gorgo
SFN Die Hard

USA
5310 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2007 :  12:59:09   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Gorgo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I recognize that certain kinds of depression or "feelings" may be chemical, but I thinkthe benefits of changing what you think are well established, at least in my little brain.

I also wonder if those "chemical" effects aren't just another way that we've learned to respond to things.

When I quit smoking, I realized that my body did not "crave cigarettes." I had a "feeling" that I had associated with craving, but it wasn't craving. It was my body trying to get rid of poisons.

When I am tired, I get grouchy, but am I grouchy when I'm tired, or have I learned to be angry when I get certain feelings? I'm not always grouchy when I'm tired, so I have to wonder if it's the latter.

The same with emotions. If I don't know something happened, that thing does not "make me mad," it's only when I find out about it and interpret it as something that "makes me mad" that I "get mad." If I misinterpret something, and change my emotional reaction to it when I find out what actually happened, did that thing "make me mad" or did what I told myself about it "make me mad?"

I wonder if it's the same thing with "PMS."

That's not to say that physical damage or chemicals do not make people violent. But, I'm not sure that's the same thing as being mad because someone cut you off on the highway. Or is it?

I think the jury is out on what we call emotions being all one way or the other, but I think most of us have the ability to change our emotions.

I know the rent is in arrears
The dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears
But it's alright-
Jerry Garcia
Robert Hunter



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Siberia
SFN Addict

Brazil
2322 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2007 :  14:30:00   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Siberia's Homepage  Send Siberia an AOL message  Send Siberia a Yahoo! Message Send Siberia a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Dave W.

Originally posted by marfknox

To some degree it could also go in humor.
To some degree, it could also go in "Religion," since many of the commenters agree that the list is just watered-down Buddhism.

Yeah, pretty much.

"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa

"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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beskeptigal
SFN Die Hard

USA
3834 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2007 :  15:19:08   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send beskeptigal a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Gorgo

....

I wonder if it's the same thing with "PMS."

...
This particular feeling was one of sort of dread or worry. It would trigger thoughts like if you got a note the boss wanted to see you, you'd think you must have done something wrong, instead of wondering if you were going to be complimented or just be given some task to do or asked for advice.

I began to recognize the feeling and intellectually I'd know the thought of having done something wrong was not realistic. But I couldn't just not have the emotion. That would stay until the hormone influence ended.





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marfknox
SFN Die Hard

USA
3739 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2007 :  18:33:29   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit marfknox's Homepage  Send marfknox an AOL message Send marfknox a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Gorgo wrote:
Sort of a watered down definition of religion.
How is a definition of religion which merely includes the fourth most common religion in the world watered down?

Anyway, we agree that it is confusing.
I don't think people here agree that it is confusing (but someone correct me if I'm wrong) so much as that it can be summarized and taken slightly different ways, and that the 10 tips are meant to be somewhat tongue in cheek, and not to be taken too literally as you have done in your over-analysis.

If you don't consider it worthless, it's because you think you know what the author intended to say, rather than what he actually did say.
If people understand what the author intended to say solely from the reading, then the author did in fact communicate what he intended effectively. What is confusing?

"Too much certainty and clarity could lead to cruel intolerance" -Karen Armstrong

Check out my art store: http://www.marfknox.etsy.com

Edited by - marfknox on 05/24/2007 18:33:44
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Gorgo
SFN Die Hard

USA
5310 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2007 :  18:51:42   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Gorgo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I don't think people here agree that it is confusing (but someone correct me if I'm wrong) so much as that it can be summarized and taken slightly different ways, and that the 10 tips are meant to be somewhat tongue in cheek, and not to be taken too literally as you have done in your over-analysis.


I was talking to Dave, who I think agreed that it was at least confusing and contradictory, which it is, though perhaps not as completely useless to me as it is to him.

It is a watered down definition of religion, which again just seems to mean, "stuff people in a group might tend to think."

I know the rent is in arrears
The dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears
But it's alright-
Jerry Garcia
Robert Hunter



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Dave W.
Info Junkie

USA
26020 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2007 :  20:09:57   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Dave W.'s Homepage Send Dave W. a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I thought at first that those ten tips were supposed to be a joke (or at least togue-in-cheek), but then I looked at the site, and I looked at the comments from people who frequent the site. Now I'm pretty sure they were offered as sincere help. Either that, or it was such a subtle joke that most LifeHack readers failed to grasp it.

The first tip tells us in no uncertain terms that it is impossible for us to stop thinking about or feeling certain things, but suggests (in bold type) that we should stop thinking about or feeling a certain something. All the other nine tips tell us to stop thinking about or feeling certain things. The list is therefore at best self-contradictory. (Perhaps that's part of the reason so many associated it with Zen. [That last was tongue-in-cheek.])

So given that one piece of its advice contradicts all the other pieces of advice, I find it worthless as a guide to anything. The net effect of the bullet points are to nullify themselves. Sort of like, "look both ways before crossing the street, except when you don't." Anyone offering that sort of wisdom may as well just not speak, for all the good it'll do anybody.

But, perhaps it's all just some sort of self-help Sokal hoax, and I - like every commenter I read - fell for it. I admit to not being well-versed in self-help trends and language, because my previous forays into the field left me wondering why anyone would pay for such stuff, even in book form. So I'm sure I'm not the best judge.

But if it's not a hoax, then pointing out the self-contradiction is hardly an over-aalysis.

- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too.
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Gorgo
SFN Die Hard

USA
5310 Posts

Posted - 05/25/2007 :  05:22:37   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Gorgo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I began to recognize the feeling and intellectually I'd know the thought of having done something wrong was not realistic. But I couldn't just not have the emotion. That would stay until the hormone influence ended.


I don't have the ability to disagree here.

I would still wonder if you had a "feeling" which came from a chemical reaction in your body. I would then wonder if you reacted to that by confusing that "feeling" with an emotion, then started a series of actions, that is, creating thoughts and tensing certain muscles in your body, which enabled you to say that chemicals in your body "made" you worry.

To explore that question with you would take more time and effort than I could reasonably expect to take, even if I had the ability.

Here's some un-watered down Buddhism:

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. - Thich Nhat Hanh

I know the rent is in arrears
The dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears
But it's alright-
Jerry Garcia
Robert Hunter



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