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Posted - 08/15/2007 :  02:04:30  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message  Reply with Quote

"Act of God, not Man," says fiery Mayor

Arlington, Texas (MMWP) -- A children's playground ignited last week in this Texas suburban community. Nobody was present at the time of the fire. The fire started when the ground itself burst into flame, then spread to destroy playground equipment. Surveillance camera tapes show that no man-made global warming was involved in starting the blaze.

Still from playground fire video.

Temperatures in this area of Texas have hovered well above the triple-digit mark in recent weeks, a typical summertime situation unrelated to any sort of global climate change.

Local fire officials have assured the public that the mulch used for ground covering spontaneously combusted, and that alleged long-term, global climatic effects caused by burning of fossil fuels, particularly petroleum products, are not in any way implicated in the fire.

Officials now plan sweep up the mulch ashes, and replace them with with pea gravel. They hope the pea gravel will withstand the non-global warming conditions. "If the peas gravel burns or melts into slag," said Arlington Mayor, Dr. Robert Cluck, "we will then try chopped asbestos debris, which we can get cheaply from industrial clean-up sites. In any event, the burning of this playground was an act of God, unrelated to the wonderful petroleum industry that is so important to the Lone Star State. But, though an act of God, this conflagration has nothing to do with the recent refusal of Arlington's High Point Church to hold a funeral for a gay man. God did not smite Arlington for that. Amen."

The melting of the bronze statue of Sam Houston, which formerly stood in a park across from the playground, also has utterly nothing to do with the increasingly scorching climate, Mayor Cluck said as he spontaneously combusted. Officials have posted signs near the statue, warning residents not to wade in the pool of molten bronze.

Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.

Edited by - HalfMooner on 08/15/2007 02:52:37
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