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marfknox
SFN Die Hard

USA
3739 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2008 :  14:22:00  Show Profile  Visit marfknox's Homepage  Send marfknox an AOL message Send marfknox a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I am transgender, legally male, and legally married to Nancy. Unlike those in same-sex marriages, domestic partnerships, or civil unions, Nancy and I are afforded the more than 1,100 federal rights of marriage. Sterilization is not a requirement for sex reassignment, so I decided to have chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy but kept my reproductive rights. Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire.


http://www.advocate.com/exclusive_detail_ektid52947.asp

As a woman who cringes just thinking about many of the consequences of being pregnant, I must say that I'm truly moved by this guy's decision. He mentions that he's lucky to have such a supportive wife, but I also think his wife is one lucky woman.

It really breaks my heart to read about all the discrimination they've had to put up with, especially from their own family and the medical community, who should both know better. These days the medical world so often bends over backward (as long as you have the money) to help traditional couples with fertility problems experience pregnancy.


"Too much certainty and clarity could lead to cruel intolerance" -Karen Armstrong

Check out my art store: http://www.marfknox.etsy.com

Dude
SFN Die Hard

USA
6891 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2008 :  14:29:24   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Dude a Private Message  Reply with Quote
This situation has to be unique, or a first. I've heard of women having a sex change after a pregnancy, but never of hhaving half a sex change, then having a kid...

All the nonsense and other BS aside, this "guy" sounds like one very confused individual to me.


Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
-- Thomas Jefferson

"god :: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument." - G. Carlin

Hope, n.
The handmaiden of desperation; the opiate of despair; the illegible signpost on the road to perdition. ~~ da filth
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marfknox
SFN Die Hard

USA
3739 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2008 :  15:14:55   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit marfknox's Homepage  Send marfknox an AOL message Send marfknox a Private Message  Reply with Quote
How does he sound confused? He's not confused about identifying as a man. He's not confused about loving and being committed to his wife. He's not confused about wanting a baby. And while they could adopt, many couples want the whole experience from conception to birth as well as the raising of the child.

If we had a way for men to carry babies and it were as generally safe as it is for women, I've no doubt that lots of men would opt for the experience. This guy happens to have that opportunity and he's made a firm decision (exhibited by he and his wife's persistence in the matter) to take it.

He and his wife seem pretty clear-headed about exactly what they want. It is other people who are confused.

"Too much certainty and clarity could lead to cruel intolerance" -Karen Armstrong

Check out my art store: http://www.marfknox.etsy.com

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marfknox
SFN Die Hard

USA
3739 Posts

Posted - 04/17/2008 :  15:17:32   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit marfknox's Homepage  Send marfknox an AOL message Send marfknox a Private Message  Reply with Quote
If what is confusing is the bit about how he opted to keep his "reproductive rights" rather than having a surgically-formed penis, I've met other transmen who have made the same choice, and they say it is because it is way easier to turn a penis into a vagina than vice versa, and there are some really bad medical horror stories.

"Too much certainty and clarity could lead to cruel intolerance" -Karen Armstrong

Check out my art store: http://www.marfknox.etsy.com

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