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Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
 Posted - 11/11/2005 : 19:09:12
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Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident; I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."
One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident; I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."
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"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
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moakley
SFN Regular
USA
1888 Posts |
Posted - 11/11/2005 : 20:00:56 [Permalink]
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A new joke thread motivated me to post the best joke that I have received in some time. I hope that a few of you have not seen it before.
quote:
A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl riding down the sidewalk in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl is wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The firefighter walks out to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," he says admiringly.
"Thanks, Mister Fireman," the girl says.
The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
"Little Partner," the firefighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster!"
The little girl replies sweetly, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren..."
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Life is good
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. -Anonymous |
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend
Sweden
9687 Posts |
Posted - 11/12/2005 : 06:24:46 [Permalink]
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Oh, Man....
Moakley, that one sent me into a laughing, coughing fit that made my nose bleed. |
Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3
"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse
Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder. |
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Siberia
SFN Addict
Brazil
2322 Posts |
Posted - 11/12/2005 : 06:58:52 [Permalink]
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L.M.A.O.
Poor cat. |
"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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