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Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26020 Posts |
 Posted - 12/11/2005 : 00:15:22
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It's that time of year, again. Make some predictions, psychic-style, for things that will happen in 2006.
Blindingly obvious predictions will be rejected. As will predictions about yourself, or things that you can easily make come true. As we learned last year, making predictions which contradict other people's predictions will make our success rate 50%, so once someone has prognosticated on one subject, nobody else may do so.
My starter prediction: the career-comeback of Michael Jackson, predicted by Uri Geller, will fail to come to pass in 2006.
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- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 04:32:30 [Permalink]
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I dunno, I dunno...., my track record in prognostications is so dismal that I hesitate to speak out and make it worse.
Oh well, whadda hell...
1. In spite of rampant election fraud, Democrats will gain slim majorities in both the House and Senate.
2. Intellegent (yeah, right!) Design advocates will be voted off the school board in KS, but the conjecture will continue to attempt to invade educational systems resulting in at least one more court case in '06 and possibly more.
3. The '06 hurricane season will be another severe one prompting yet more end-times blithers from various fundelmentalist nitwits. Their followings will increase.
4. Tony Blair will be put out of office -- I think I made that one last year. 
5. Fred Phelps will slouch his hateful way off this mortal coil to the relief of all, gay, straight, and undecided.
6. So will Jesse Helms.
7. Either another decomposed basking shark carcass or another 'blob' will wash ashore, or be trawled up, prompting more pleiosaur hysteria from Kent and Eric Hovind, et al. The tourist industry of Loch Ness will prosper accordingly.
8. Jose Padilla will finally be exonerated, to the outrage of the administration, and file a massive lawsuit.
9. This one is preposterous even to me, so there is no 9.
10. Bigfoot will be sighted but not captured and Stephen King will write another book or two.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
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LizW
Skeptic Friend
USA
113 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 08:09:38 [Permalink]
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Here goes:
Bad year for Elizabeths, Queen Elizabeth and Elizabeth Taylor will both pass away this year.
Terrorists will attempt to carbomb McDonald's corporate headquarters
Dick Cheney will have a massive coronary and need to be replaced as Vice President
The Roman Catholic Church will institute a new set procedures that assure priests and children are never alone in the same room
That last one is just a bit of wishful thinking. |
You learn something new every g****mn day! |
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Dude
SFN Die Hard
USA
6891 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 09:08:28 [Permalink]
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1. The republican spin machine will ramp up into overdrive and begin a systematic and coordinated effort of character assassination against democrats running for office in 2006. Facts will be ignored, as will anyones actual position on any issues.
2. They will be successful in defending their majority in either the house or senate, but not both, because of their systematic lies about the character of their democrat opponents.
3. The current administration will continue to expand it's "free trade" policies to more contries who do not respect basic human rights and will refuse to take a hard line with countries like India and China concerning the treatment of their workers and people.
4. Iraq will remain the same. We will top 3000 US dead in 2006.
5. The Dover ID case ruling will come back unfavorably for the ID crowd. They will, of course, appeal. The SCOTUS will agree, eventually, to hear the case even though the point is moot due to the retarded IDers having already been voted off the Dover school board.
6. Kansas will remain a hotspot in the ID spectacle.
7. Several other states will also enter the ID fray, including FL, TX, and OK. There could also be more ID nonsense from GA as well.
8. The SCOTUS, when Mrs Oconner's replacement is finally confirmed, will begin to slowly start sending the USA backwards in time on many social issues, including civil rights, privacy, abortion, and personal freedom.
9. Have to agree with filthy, this one is to terrible to contemplate, so no #9 for you!
10. Global warming will still be still considered a "liberal neofascist commie conspiracy" by the political right-wing, and new environmental legislation (written by US mining and power companies) will go into effect that neuters the EPA's enforcement authority and lets companies pollute more easily.
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Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
-- Thomas Jefferson
"god :: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument." - G. Carlin
Hope, n.
The handmaiden of desperation; the opiate of despair; the illegible signpost on the road to perdition. ~~ da filth |
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Dude
SFN Die Hard
USA
6891 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 09:11:12 [Permalink]
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I just want to point out that my predictions for 2005 were pretty accurate! I guess they were fairly obvious too.... but hey.
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Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
-- Thomas Jefferson
"god :: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument." - G. Carlin
Hope, n.
The handmaiden of desperation; the opiate of despair; the illegible signpost on the road to perdition. ~~ da filth |
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
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Cuneiformist
The Imperfectionist
USA
4955 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 11:55:05 [Permalink]
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Holy shit-- I looked at the old thread and saw that I wrote:
"A less seriouss one-- I predict that the NHL will not resolve its labor dispute before cancelling the 2004-05 season. Furthermore, it will only be resolved if labor accepts a type of salary cap."
I was right!! I have psychic powers!! Yee haw! |
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UncleJ
New Member
41 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 11:58:23 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Ricky
1. The US will convert to the metric system.
I hope Ricky is correct, but I'm not holding my breath
I can only make two predictions. I would make more but my “psychic” powers are still in shock from finding out there is no Santa Claus in this thread: 
http://www.skepticfriends.org/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5329
As for my prediction:
1) Dubbya will continue to isolate himself from reality. He will surround himself with only advisors that support his delusional version of the facts. He will avoid consultation with members of congress or any experts that may have differing opinions on the war in Iraq, the deficit, social security, etc…
2) His backers will praise him for #1 by saying things like “The president is showing brave leadership” and “he's not a flip flopper!”
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"The Church says the Earth is flat. But I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow on the Moon. And I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church." - F. Magellan
"I can't be a missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus!" - H. Simpson |
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Kil
Evil Skeptic
USA
13476 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 13:27:10 [Permalink]
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1. I predict that John Edwards will be hit by a truck while crossing over a narrow bridge and, without missing a beat, he will begin getting dead people with unresolved issues in touch with the living. This will bring to us a new meaning to the phrase “cold reading.”
2. I predict that Jesus will finally show up and campaign for Republicans in the upcoming congressional races. Jesus will support the idea that attacking unarmed countries is pretty much okay with him as long as they are not Christian countries. He will suggest that the poor should get off their lazy duffs and go to work. He will also have some harsh words aimed at liberals who support companies that would presume to take his name out of a holiday that celebrates the unbridled commercialization of his birth. Speaking of corporate heads and stockholders He will be heard to say; “How ells can the meek inherit the Earth if they have no way of becoming stinking filthy rich?”
Jesus will also do some fundraising work on television by targeting the faithful. A big donation will be rewarded with eternal salvation. The folks at TBN and Pat Robertson will baulk at this cut into their profits. Jesus will gently remind them of whom they work for. In a moment of unusual candor, Pat Robertson will be overheard saying; “How was I supposed to know?”
3. Dick Cheney will have a massive heart attack and die. In an unprecedented move, George W. Bush will keep him on as his Vice President saying; “Dicky boy has done one hell of a job and I am not the kind of guy who deserts his friends when they are, you know, down...”
4. Saddam Hussein will be acquitted on all charges. The jury will be summarily executed. One Sunni jurist, right before his death will be heard to say; "Large Kurd or small Kurd, It's still just cottage cheese to me. What's the big deal?"
5. Donald Rumsfield will once again tender his resignation as secretary of defense. And again, Bush will not accept his resignation. Later that night in a bar, Rummy, in a drunken stupor will lament to the bar tender, “What's a guy got to do? Crap, I have tried everything short of shooting the stinking troops myself…”
6. In a startling revelation, Ann Coulter will reveal that she “channels” Wally George.
7. Visiting aliens will finally reveal themselves to us and admit to all the years of probing. When asked about the probing, they will say only that before they arrived, another group of aliens had visited us and reported to them that our species pretty much talks out of its ass. They apologize for the confusion and any discomfort that may have caused those abductees they attempted to communicate with…
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Uncertainty may make you uncomfortable. Certainty makes you ridiculous.
Why not question something for a change?
Genetic Literacy Project |
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pleco
SFN Addict
USA
2998 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 14:38:05 [Permalink]
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1) Colts win Super Bowl with perfect record in January 2006.
2) Evidence of life on Mars will be finally found. Fundies will call this a "trick of the devil."
3) BigBrain will finally quit polluting this board, and, putting money where his mouth is, attempt to launch himself directly to Saturn using a large PVC pipe, 5 gallons of diesel, a clothes hangar, and a pack of bubble gum.
4) Tom Delay will be found guilty, but will never serve time in jail. Dubbya will pardon his ass before the appeals dry up.
5) The US will pull troops out of Iraq in 2006.
6) The US will put troops into Iran in 2006.
7) Jerry Falwell will choke to death on a hamhock. Pat Robertson will blame the liberal jew media, while secretly rejoicing.
8) "Dr." Kent Hovind will be crushed by a massive fake dinosaur on his property which was improperly built by using "faith based" mechanical engineering.
9) God will submit an application to the JREF Million Dollar challenge to prove that He exists, but will be rejected because he couldn't come up with 3 affadavits.
10) Italian National newspaper La Reppublica will publish a news article about a very stupid person who attempts to launch himself to Saturn using a large PVC pipe, 5 gallons of diesel, a clothes hangar, and a pack of bubble gum. The man, of course, mangages to throw himself 25 feet into the air before the "buffoon theory of gravity" takes affect and kills him. A witness will be quoted as saying "That was the dumbest person I've ever met." Photos of the event, which took place at night, will not show any stars. |
by Filthy
The neo-con methane machine will soon be running at full fart. |
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moakley
SFN Regular
USA
1888 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 16:05:12 [Permalink]
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1. Michael Jackson will be physically restrained by a troop of cub scouts while Bubbles makes a delivery on the hershey highway.
2. Jesus will return in December, shake his head, and say only, "I was born in September".
3. Billy Graham dies, conservative christian launch a campaign to have November 7 recognized as a national holidy. "Evangelical Day" |
Life is good
Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. -Anonymous |
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 18:13:03 [Permalink]
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Alright already, enough...!
Overwhelmed by a tremendous lack of popular demand, I am compelled to put forth prediction # 9:
Tom DeLay will beat the rap. The prosecution will appeal and the whole thing will go on almost until election day. However that shakes out, win or lose, Delay will not return to the House. Either he will be found guilty, lose the election, or decide to "spend more time with his family." At that point, if not locked up and maybe even if he is, he will be able to practice his scumbaggery unfettered by Congressional ethics rules.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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R.Wreck
SFN Regular
USA
1191 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 19:42:29 [Permalink]
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| The image of the Virgin (snicker) Mary will turn up in skin blotches on Dick Cheney's ass. The fact that the image was discovered by Bill O'Reilly during homoerotic play will cause Dubya to be deeply conflicted, on the one hand wanting to spread the glory of Jay-zuz, and on the other hand with the fear having his administration exposed as a hotbed of immorality. He will call an emergency cabinet meeting to decide what to do, the result of which will be the invasion of Clipperton Island, which, being uninhabited, should be occupied and have a democratic government up and running in two years max, with only moderate casualties. |
The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibliities of knowledge.
T. H. Huxley
The Cattle Prod of Enlightened Compassion
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trogdor
Skeptic Friend
198 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2005 : 20:52:09 [Permalink]
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North Korea will unvail it's nuclear (nuculer) weapons program. the Administration will realize that not only was it barking up the wrong tree, that it now has 2 killer trees to deal with.
The Hand Of God will visit earth and strike down Bush. it will unclog Cheney's hart but give him cancer of the eye, hand and penis.
Mark Ritchie (major organizer for the Nov. 2 campain in'04)will become SOS of Minnesota. AL Franken will be a senitor. |
all eyes were on Ford Prefect. some of them were on stalks.
-Douglas Adams |
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Siberia
SFN Addict
Brazil
2322 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2005 : 05:32:59 [Permalink]
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| 1. Ann Coulter will reveal herself to actually be Antonio Coulter, who underwent a sex-reassigment surgery performed in Thailand at the age of eighteen, after a brief consideration on following a drag queen career. |
"Why are you afraid of something you're not even sure exists?"
- The Kovenant, Via Negativa
"People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs."
-- unknown
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filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2005 : 08:56:36 [Permalink]
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11. One of the Bush twins will have an abortion performed. This will be carefully covered up, but will leak out and be called a malicious, liberal rumor. Neither young lady will find nor even seek gainful employment.
12. A deep-fried, severed penis will turn up in a box of chicken chunks at either McD's or Burger King. An amusing if ghastly lawsuit will result. The organ's former owner will never be identified.
13. Bad Frog Beer will be taken over by Coor's and become a nationally recognized brand. The states currently banning it due to it's lable will not lift the bans, although empty Bad Frog cans will regularly be found in Tom Ridge's trash.
14. Bill Frist will not use the so-called "nuclear option" against filibusters of Alito in spite of recent threats made.
15. James Randi will not lose his million dollar prize in '06.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
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