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 Alex Chiu's Immortality Device
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 08/02/2006 :  18:49:11  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
Don't worry, folks, real "physical immortality" is already here. And in case you don't want to go through eternity being ugly, Chiu's "GORGEOUSPIL" (TM pending) or "Gorgeous Pill" is the answer. If taken while wearing his Immortality Device rings, "The Gorgeous pill will make you prettier and more beautiful every morning. You will gradually look PERFECT, even more gorgeous than super models."

But wait, there's more!: Don't go through countless millennia with crippling disabilities! "Super Chi Flush > It doesn't matter what handicap you have. This stuff burns through everything!"

You gotta love the way Chiu uses images of Edison, Tesla, and Einstein -- and himself-- on his page.


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.

Edited by - HalfMooner on 08/02/2006 18:55:56

H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 08/02/2006 :  19:38:29   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message
Well, if Einstein, Edison, and Tesla endorse him, he can't be a fraud!

Or is it that he is merely drawing upon the discoveries made by Einstein, Edison, and Tesla?

Actually, since the pictures of Einstein, Edison, and Tesla grace the top of his webpage with no apparent connection to any of his claims whatsoever, I guess it's nothing more than a shameless attempt at self-promotion through vague association. Drat.


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
Edited by - H. Humbert on 08/02/2006 19:38:49
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 08/02/2006 :  19:42:09   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message
Oh, and Gorgeouspil sounds great at first until you find out it saps your libido:
quote:
A person who takes Gorgeouspil likes to concentrate his soul within his own body and does not wish to scatter his soul on to other bodies. So making babies is not desirable for people who take Gorgeouspil.


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 08/02/2006 :  20:02:40   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by H. Humbert

Oh, and Gorgeouspil sounds great at first until you find out it saps your libido:
quote:
A person who takes Gorgeouspil likes to concentrate his soul within his own body and does not wish to scatter his soul on to other bodies. So making babies is not desirable for people who take Gorgeouspil.



That's a wonderful, intended side-effect of the Gorgeouspil, actually. Chiu has taken into account that reproduction in an era of Immortals would vastly overpopulate the earth, and has thus incorporated an anti-soul-scattering ingredient into the pill. Besides, any babies of beautiful Immortals would be disfigured, troglydite mutants.


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.
Edited by - HalfMooner on 08/02/2006 20:03:20
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Chippewa
SFN Regular

USA
1496 Posts

Posted - 08/02/2006 :  23:53:04   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Chippewa's Homepage Send Chippewa a Private Message
I liked:
quote:
Only Alex Chiu has the solution to a unified world, unless you can think of a better one.


Worthy of Douglas Adams.
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 08/03/2006 :  00:26:16   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Chippewa

I liked:
quote:
Only Alex Chiu has the solution to a unified world, unless you can think of a better one.


Worthy of Douglas Adams.

Well, the unified world is a problem that vexes many people. Cracking something that big takes an evil genius! I'll try to come up with some disunifying ideas myself, but I can't promise anything.


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.
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furshur
SFN Regular

USA
1536 Posts

Posted - 08/03/2006 :  06:44:48   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send furshur a Private Message
quote:
Kevin Trudeau, the king of American infomercial, highly recommends Alex Chiu's Immortality Devices in his famous book

Well there you go what better recommendation could you get.


If I knew then what I know now then I would know more now than I know.
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie

USA
4826 Posts

Posted - 08/03/2006 :  09:42:51   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Valiant Dancer's Homepage Send Valiant Dancer a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by H. Humbert

Oh, and Gorgeouspil sounds great at first until you find out it saps your libido:
quote:
A person who takes Gorgeouspil likes to concentrate his soul within his own body and does not wish to scatter his soul on to other bodies. So making babies is not desirable for people who take Gorgeouspil.





Who wants to lie forever at the expense of nookie?

Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils

Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard

USA
4907 Posts

Posted - 08/03/2006 :  10:51:56   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Ricky an AOL message Send Ricky a Private Message
So is this immortality or simply you won't die from old aging? If it's the former, I want to see Alex Chiu with the rings on, put his head across a railroad track (trucks obviously just aren't enough).

Why continue? Because we must. Because we have the call. Because it is nobler to fight for rationality without winning than to give up in the face of continued defeats. Because whatever true progress humanity makes is through the rationality of the occasional individual and because any one individual we may win for the cause may do more for humanity than a hundred thousand who hug their superstitions to their breast.
- Isaac Asimov
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BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard

3192 Posts

Posted - 08/03/2006 :  12:20:47   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send BigPapaSmurf a Private Message
Im covered by the Eternal Tabernacle, which just rebuilds my body should it become useless.

Pfft, Immortality Rings, what a joke.

"...things I have neither seen nor experienced nor heard tell of from anybody else; things, what is more, that do not in fact exist and could not ever exist at all. So my readers must not believe a word I say." -Lucian on his book True History

"...They accept such things on faith alone, without any evidence. So if a fraudulent and cunning person who knows how to take advantage of a situation comes among them, he can make himself rich in a short time." -Lucian critical of early Christians c.166 AD From his book, De Morte Peregrini
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pleco
SFN Addict

USA
2996 Posts

Posted - 08/03/2006 :  13:54:36   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit pleco's Homepage Send pleco a Private Message
Do you have an extra one of those?

by Filthy
The neo-con methane machine will soon be running at full fart.
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HalfMooner
Dingaling

Philippines
15831 Posts

Posted - 08/03/2006 :  15:42:12   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send HalfMooner a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Ricky

So is this immortality or simply you won't die from old aging? If it's the former, I want to see Alex Chiu with the rings on, put his head across a railroad track (trucks obviously just aren't enough).

Whoa! That would be an act of terrorism, causuing the derailment of the train!


Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive.
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