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Randy
SFN Regular

USA
1987 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2011 :  20:02:07   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Randy a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Randy

Perry on Dave Letterman tonight

[Edited to fix link - Dave W.]

Ha, you beat me to it!

"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."

"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson
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sailingsoul
SFN Addict

2830 Posts

Posted - 12/24/2011 :  16:14:05   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send sailingsoul a Private Message  Reply with Quote
What really happened.

On this Christmas Eve, I'll take this opportunity to set straight one of the biggest myth ever imagined and put to paper. This is how it really happened.


It was in a manger on a cold winter night, a Virgin gave birth to the Son of God. Three wise men bearing gifts arrived. Their names were, Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthasar.

The first wise man steps forward and said "I bring you Gold!" and backs out.

The second wise man steps forward and said "I bring you [s]murr/[s] Myrrh" and backs out.

The third wise man steps forward and while looking over his shoulder at the first two wise men said, "I thought we agreed, nothing over ten dollars". Then addressing Baby Jesus he said,,,

"Ummm?? Frank sent this!"


There are only two types of religious people, the deceivers and the deceived. SS
Edited by - sailingsoul on 12/25/2011 12:03:44
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bngbuck
SFN Addict

USA
2437 Posts

Posted - 12/25/2011 :  01:20:14   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send bngbuck a Private Message  Reply with Quote
ss.....

Just mark me down as dumb, but....

1. Frankencense = "Frank sent this"?
If so, referring to sent what?

or

2. Balthasar (third wise man) sent...? The baby jesus' himself? As a gift to the baby jesus? Non comprè!

or

3. If "Frank" is not a referral to frankencense, then who is "Frank"?


Sorry for the confusion, but one has to cave to Alzheimers sometime, and this may well be it!


Also, I understand the complexities of contemporary English spelling, but "murr" ? Surely not intentional?

Edited by - bngbuck on 12/25/2011 01:26:41
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sailingsoul
SFN Addict

2830 Posts

Posted - 12/25/2011 :  12:31:30   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send sailingsoul a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Sometimes even in explaining a joke it's still not funny to the one needing it but I'll try. Perhaps it was naming the wise men that threw you off. I added that as an after thought because I thought it was funny too. In addition to the joke over all, which I got from a "TED" video I saw in June.
Originally posted by bngbuck

ss.....

Just mark me down as dumb, but....

1. Frankencense = "Frank sent this"?
YES!

If so, referring to sent what?
It doesn't matter but if you insist, it was a baby rattle for under ten bucks.


or

2. Balthasar (third wise man) sent...? The baby jesus' himself? As a gift to the baby jesus? Non comprè!

or

3. If "Frank" is not a referral to frankencense, then who is "Frank"?


Sorry for the confusion, but one has to cave to Alzheimers sometime, and this may well be it!
Ok, bngbuck here's the deal.

The wise men agreed before they arrived that they wouldn't spend over $10.00. That fact comes from the part where I wrote "The third wise man steps forward and while looking over his shoulder at the first two wise men said, "I thought we agreed, nothing over ten dollars". The first two wise men, individually, didn't stick to their agreement. They were hoping to out shine the others with a more expensive gift but more than one had the same plan.
The third wise man didn't think of spending more to out shine the other two wise men, got a gift not over ten bucks. Not wanting to be considered a "cheapskate" and not wanting to acknowledged the gift was from him, he did a little last minute thinking and came up with "Frank sent this". That is evident where I wrote "Ummm??". Frank doesn't exist. The third wise man was putting the comparatively cheaper gift off on a made up giver named "frank" to avoid ownership and being embarrassed. Lastly, it really doesn't what the gift was but it wasn't Frankincense as the legend has it. Do you you get the humor now?

If you were the third wise man and you brought an under $10.00 gift and the other two brought Gold and Myrrh would you want to say " I bring you this Rattle or what ever?" Of course not. Please tell me you get it, if not, grant me a Christmas wish and say you do.



Also, I understand the complexities of contemporary English spelling, but "murr" ? Surely not intentional?



You are most correct, I got the spelling of Myrrh wrong.
I googled "murr" to check the spelling when I was posting and got "gold frankensense murr\" in the predictive drop down window and mistakenly though it was a proper spelling. I was wrong. Thanks for pointing it out. I corrected it. Happy Festivus! The Holiday for the rest of us.

FIY, The hoilday turns 14 this year.

There are only two types of religious people, the deceivers and the deceived. SS
Edited by - sailingsoul on 12/25/2011 12:36:33
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bngbuck
SFN Addict

USA
2437 Posts

Posted - 12/26/2011 :  10:09:00   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send bngbuck a Private Message  Reply with Quote
ss.....

If you were the third wise man and you brought an under $10.00 gift and the other two brought Gold and Myrrh would you want to say " I bring you this Rattle or what ever?" Of course not. Please tell me you get it, if not, grant me a Christmas wish and say you do.
Uhmmm.

If I was the third wise man, I wouldn't have been traveling cross-country on a camel to bring baby rattles or whatever to an imaginary holy brat squalling on a wet bed of straw in a horse barn somewhere in a miserable third-world country near the southeast corner of the Mediterranean Sea!

I either wouldn't be there or I sure as hell wouldn't be wise, for crissake. Literally!

I still don't get it, but to refrain from demolishing a religious celebration that you don't believe in any more than I do, I'll say, yeah, sure; and merry fucking Christmas!

Balthazar! Bah! Humfuckingbug!
Edited by - bngbuck on 12/26/2011 10:14:05
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sailingsoul
SFN Addict

2830 Posts

Posted - 12/26/2011 :  10:41:07   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send sailingsoul a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by bngbuck

Uhmmm.

If I was the third wise man, I wouldn't have been traveling cross-country on a camel to bring baby rattles or whatever to an imaginary holy brat squalling on a wet bed of straw in a horse barn somewhere in a miserable third-world country near the southeast corner of the Mediterranean Sea!

I either wouldn't be there or I sure as hell wouldn't be wise, for crissake. Literally!
I've told that to others, face to face and have yet get as clueless a reaction as you have given. Maybe you could try to lighten up. Not for my benefit but your own. Bill it was a joke, not to be taken "Literally!". As you insist. I'm done with this.

There are only two types of religious people, the deceivers and the deceived. SS
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bngbuck
SFN Addict

USA
2437 Posts

Posted - 12/26/2011 :  11:47:50   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send bngbuck a Private Message  Reply with Quote
ss.....

Maybe you could try to lighten up.
The weight of most of a century bears heavy on my sole (I know, I know; this one should be spelled with a "u")

Apologies to chefcrush
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bngbuck
SFN Addict

USA
2437 Posts

Posted - 12/26/2011 :  13:34:42   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send bngbuck a Private Message  Reply with Quote
ss.....

Just to prove that I have absolutely no sense of humor.....


The Indian Native American With One Testicle


There once was an Indian (sic) who had only one testicle,and whose given name was 'Onenut'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onenut. But everyone always did.

After years and years of torment, Onenut finally cracked and said,
"If anyone calls me Onenut again I will kill them!"

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said,
"Good morning, Onenut."

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest,
where he made love to her all day and all night, and all the next day -until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onenut meant what he promised he would do.

Time went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for years.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onenut. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onenut."

Onenut grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night - but Yellow Bird just cried "more, more!"

She wouldn't die even though she was totally exhausted.


Why ???







Everyone knows...

You can't kill Two Birds with One Stone!!!
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sailingsoul
SFN Addict

2830 Posts

Posted - 12/26/2011 :  20:37:11   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send sailingsoul a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Robot Pro Wrestling.
The main event
Saaga v. Monster.
Dec. 25, 2011.

There are only two types of religious people, the deceivers and the deceived. SS
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ThorGoLucky
Snuggle Wolf

USA
1365 Posts

Posted - 12/26/2011 :  21:01:08   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit ThorGoLucky's Homepage Send ThorGoLucky a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by sailingsoul

Robot Pro Wrestling.
The main event
Saaga v. Monster.
Dec. 25, 2011.

Poor Monster was designed to take on taller opponents.
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ThorGoLucky
Snuggle Wolf

USA
1365 Posts

Posted - 12/29/2011 :  04:39:36   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit ThorGoLucky's Homepage Send ThorGoLucky a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Looks more appealing than spam.

http://www.amazon.com/ThinkGeek-Canned-Unicorn-Meat/dp/B004CRYE2C/ref=pd_bxgy_sg_img_b
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chefcrsh
Skeptic Friend

Hong Kong
380 Posts

Posted - 12/29/2011 :  05:00:30   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send chefcrsh a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by bngbuck

ss.....


Apologies to chefcrush


WTF?
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podcat
Skeptic Friend

435 Posts

Posted - 12/29/2011 :  16:52:44   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send podcat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I guess this is to prevent them from indecent exposure?


“In a modern...society, everybody has the absolute right to believe whatever they damn well please, but they don't have the same right to be taken seriously”.

-Barry Williams, co-founder, Australian Skeptics
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bngbuck
SFN Addict

USA
2437 Posts

Posted - 12/29/2011 :  16:59:41   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send bngbuck a Private Message  Reply with Quote
chefcrsh......

WTF?
"The weight of most of a century bears heavy on my sole!"
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Hal
Skeptic Friend

USA
302 Posts

Posted - 12/30/2011 :  09:53:11   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Hal a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by chefcrsh

Originally posted by bngbuck

ss.....


Apologies to chefcrush


WTF?


Sheesh, chef, are you still younger than bngbuck?

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
Martin Luther King Jr.

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