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Ebone4rock
SFN Regular

USA
894 Posts

Posted - 12/30/2010 :  10:07:00  Show Profile Send Ebone4rock a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Has anyone run into this one before?

For Christmas the last few years a loved one has been donating money and/or gifts (this year it was two chickens) to a religious organization in my name. I get a card in the mail around Christmas time notifying me of the gift that was donated.

This just seems so weird to me. Am I supposed to thank her for putting my name and address on the list of donors for this religious organization? (to be fair I have never received any kind of correspondence or solicitation from this organization other than the annual card) What would make her think that I have any sort of interest in donating to a religious organization? She is not elderly or anything and I have never discussed religion with her.

I dunno....it's just seems so damn weird to me.

Haole with heart, thats all I'll ever be. I'm not a part of the North Shore society. Stuck on the shoulder, that's where you'll find me. Digging for scraps with the kooks in line. -Offspring

podcat
Skeptic Friend

435 Posts

Posted - 12/30/2010 :  12:57:56   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send podcat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Couldn't you just say to her, "I appreciate your thinking of me, but the organization you're donating to doesn't quite suit me. Why don't you donate to [charity of your choice] in my name instead"? Probably not wise to bring up the religious aspect of the current donation...

“In a modern...society, everybody has the absolute right to believe whatever they damn well please, but they don't have the same right to be taken seriously”.

-Barry Williams, co-founder, Australian Skeptics
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Ebone4rock
SFN Regular

USA
894 Posts

Posted - 12/30/2010 :  14:38:41   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Ebone4rock a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by podcat

Couldn't you just say to her, "I appreciate your thinking of me, but the organization you're donating to doesn't quite suit me. Why don't you donate to [charity of your choice] in my name instead"? Probably not wise to bring up the religious aspect of the current donation...


Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable thing to say although I'll probably just leave any acknowledgment of the gift go unspoken. She has never brought up the subject so I think I will leave it that way. I will use your suggestion only if she brings up the subject first.
It just boggles my mind that anyone would think of donating anything in someone elses name. I just don't get it. Why not just donate under her own name? It just seems to me like that is some sort of boundary that has been crossed. She is well aware of the charities that my wife and I support so I would think it would make more sense to donate something to one of them.

Haole with heart, thats all I'll ever be. I'm not a part of the North Shore society. Stuck on the shoulder, that's where you'll find me. Digging for scraps with the kooks in line. -Offspring
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 12/30/2010 :  15:17:44   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Make a donation of equal amount to the Richard Dawkins' Foundation and send her a note telling her you put the donation in her name.


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
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Ebone4rock
SFN Regular

USA
894 Posts

Posted - 12/30/2010 :  15:51:09   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Ebone4rock a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by H. Humbert

Make a donation of equal amount to the Richard Dawkins' Foundation and send her a note telling her you put the donation in her name.





I like it.

Haole with heart, thats all I'll ever be. I'm not a part of the North Shore society. Stuck on the shoulder, that's where you'll find me. Digging for scraps with the kooks in line. -Offspring
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podcat
Skeptic Friend

435 Posts

Posted - 12/30/2010 :  16:16:23   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send podcat a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Well, she unintentionally thinks you might approve of what she's doing. I wouldn't do what Humbert suggests, good way to get her offended if she has strong beliefs.

“In a modern...society, everybody has the absolute right to believe whatever they damn well please, but they don't have the same right to be taken seriously”.

-Barry Williams, co-founder, Australian Skeptics
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 12/30/2010 :  16:50:36   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by podcat

Well, she unintentionally thinks you might approve of what she's doing. I wouldn't do what Humbert suggests, good way to get her offended if she has strong beliefs.
I don't understand this attitude. It's merely doing exactly what she did. If it's offensive, then it was offensive when she did it first. Obviously it never crossed her mind that some people might find it immoral or distasteful to support a religious organization in someone else's name without their permission, and turning the tables on her could serve as an eye-opening lesson. And if she's offended, so what? Lots of religious people take offense while being oblivious to the offense they cause. The pious need to be a little offended on occasion, in my opinion. That's the only way things are ever going to change.


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
Edited by - H. Humbert on 12/31/2010 11:10:13
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Ebone4rock
SFN Regular

USA
894 Posts

Posted - 12/30/2010 :  16:55:38   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Ebone4rock a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by H. Humbert

Originally posted by podcat

Well, she unintentionally thinks you might approve of what she's doing. I wouldn't do what Humbert suggests, good way to get her offended if she has strong beliefs.
I don't understand this attitude. It's merely doing exactly what she did. If it's offensive, then it was offensive when she did it first. Obviously it never crossed her mind that some people might find it immoral or distasteful to support a religious organization in someone else's name without their permission, and turning the tables on her could serve as an eye-opening lesson. And if she's offended, so what? Lots of religious people take offense while being obvious to the offense they cause. The pious need to be a little offended on occasion, in my opinion. That's the only way things are ever going to change.




Well H., I was under the impression you were just joking around.

Haole with heart, thats all I'll ever be. I'm not a part of the North Shore society. Stuck on the shoulder, that's where you'll find me. Digging for scraps with the kooks in line. -Offspring
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 12/30/2010 :  17:09:50   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Ebone4rock
Well H., I was under the impression you were just joking around.
Nope. It was offered as a serious suggestion. The RDF is a great cause to support.


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
Edited by - H. Humbert on 12/30/2010 17:14:10
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend

Sweden
9675 Posts

Posted - 12/31/2010 :  04:05:20   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Dr. Mabuse an ICQ Message Send Dr. Mabuse a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by H. Humbert
And if she's offended, so what? Lots of religious people take offense while being obvious to the offense they cause. The pious need to be a little offended on occasion, in my opinion. That's the only way things are ever going to change.
(emphasis above mine)
H. I'm a bit uncertain here... While I suppose it works both ways, perhaps you meant to write "oblivious"?


Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3

"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse

Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder.
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 12/31/2010 :  11:09:52   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Dr. Mabuse
I'm a bit uncertain here... While I suppose it works both ways, perhaps you meant to write "oblivious"?
Yup. That's what I meant. I ended up saying the opposite of what I meant to convey. Oops. I guess I pulled a Kil.

Thanks for catching that.

"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
Edited by - H. Humbert on 12/31/2010 11:11:19
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Dr. Mabuse
Septic Fiend

Sweden
9675 Posts

Posted - 12/31/2010 :  14:24:03   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send Dr. Mabuse an ICQ Message Send Dr. Mabuse a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I too would seriously contemplate Humbert's suggestion. It makes a lot of sense.

Dr. Mabuse - "When the going gets tough, the tough get Duct-tape..."
Dr. Mabuse whisper.mp3

"Equivocation is not just a job, for a creationist it's a way of life..." Dr. Mabuse

Support American Troops in Iraq:
Send them unarmed civilians for target practice..
Collateralmurder.
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Robb
SFN Regular

USA
1223 Posts

Posted - 12/31/2010 :  14:41:00   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Robb a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by H. Humbert

Originally posted by podcat

Well, she unintentionally thinks you might approve of what she's doing. I wouldn't do what Humbert suggests, good way to get her offended if she has strong beliefs.
I don't understand this attitude. It's merely doing exactly what she did. If it's offensive, then it was offensive when she did it first. Obviously it never crossed her mind that some people might find it immoral or distasteful to support a religious organization in someone else's name without their permission, and turning the tables on her could serve as an eye-opening lesson. And if she's offended, so what? Lots of religious people take offense while being oblivious to the offense they cause. The pious need to be a little offended on occasion, in my opinion. That's the only way things are ever going to change.


The differnece I see is that she is doing it thinking she is doing a good thing. If Ebone does it back it would be to purposfully irritate her. I would suggest doing the grownup thing and talk to her about it. Maybe you could suggest a charity you do approve of.

Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. - George Washington
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Robb
SFN Regular

USA
1223 Posts

Posted - 12/31/2010 :  14:45:03   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Robb a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Ebone4rock

It just boggles my mind that anyone would think of donating anything in someone elses name. I just don't get it. Why not just donate under her own name? It just seems to me like that is some sort of boundary that has been crossed. She is well aware of the charities that my wife and I support so I would think it would make more sense to donate something to one of them.
I agree. We make a donation to a military organization that supports our troops in different ways in my father in laws name every year. He really likes that we do that, but we know he donates to that organization as well. I would never think to donate to an organization he does not support.

Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. - George Washington
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard

USA
4574 Posts

Posted - 12/31/2010 :  14:53:53   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send H. Humbert a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Robb
The differnece I see is that she is doing it thinking she is doing a good thing. If Ebone does it back it would be to purposfully irritate her.
Well, no. The purpose is not to irritate her, but illuminate her by putting her in the same position she puts others in. He can do what you suggest and simply talk to her, although sometimes someone has to experience things from another person's perspective before fully understanding it. If she currently sees nothing wrong with supporting religious charities in others' names, she might feel that Ebone is merely being oversensitive. But he would know his family best, so of course the decision is up to him. I still think the RDF or JREF make worthy recipients of charitable donations.

Here is a list of non-religious charities, even if it is a few years old. Perhaps he could suggest one or more of them as alternatives.


"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman

"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie
Edited by - H. Humbert on 12/31/2010 14:55:26
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Ebone4rock
SFN Regular

USA
894 Posts

Posted - 12/31/2010 :  14:57:01   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Ebone4rock a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Robb

Originally posted by H. Humbert

Originally posted by podcat

Well, she unintentionally thinks you might approve of what she's doing. I wouldn't do what Humbert suggests, good way to get her offended if she has strong beliefs.
I don't understand this attitude. It's merely doing exactly what she did. If it's offensive, then it was offensive when she did it first. Obviously it never crossed her mind that some people might find it immoral or distasteful to support a religious organization in someone else's name without their permission, and turning the tables on her could serve as an eye-opening lesson. And if she's offended, so what? Lots of religious people take offense while being oblivious to the offense they cause. The pious need to be a little offended on occasion, in my opinion. That's the only way things are ever going to change.


The differnece I see is that she is doing it thinking she is doing a good thing. If Ebone does it back it would be to purposfully irritate her. I would suggest doing the grownup thing and talk to her about it. Maybe you could suggest a charity you do approve of.


Yes Robb, this is why I never brought it up to her. It's easy for me to irritate strangers but to hurt the feelings of loved ones is something I can't bring myself to do. Even though it is a weird thing for her to do there really has been no harm done to me.

Luckily for me I have you fine folks to discuss these things with.

Haole with heart, thats all I'll ever be. I'm not a part of the North Shore society. Stuck on the shoulder, that's where you'll find me. Digging for scraps with the kooks in line. -Offspring
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