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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 08/02/2006 : 18:49:11
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Don't worry, folks, real "physical immortality" is already here. And in case you don't want to go through eternity being ugly, Chiu's "GORGEOUSPIL" (TM pending) or "Gorgeous Pill" is the answer. If taken while wearing his Immortality Device rings, "The Gorgeous pill will make you prettier and more beautiful every morning. You will gradually look PERFECT, even more gorgeous than super models."
But wait, there's more!: Don't go through countless millennia with crippling disabilities! "Super Chi Flush > It doesn't matter what handicap you have. This stuff burns through everything!"
You gotta love the way Chiu uses images of Edison, Tesla, and Einstein -- and himself-- on his page.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
Edited by - HalfMooner on 08/02/2006 18:55:56
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2006 : 19:38:29 [Permalink]
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Well, if Einstein, Edison, and Tesla endorse him, he can't be a fraud!
Or is it that he is merely drawing upon the discoveries made by Einstein, Edison, and Tesla?
Actually, since the pictures of Einstein, Edison, and Tesla grace the top of his webpage with no apparent connection to any of his claims whatsoever, I guess it's nothing more than a shameless attempt at self-promotion through vague association. Drat.
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"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
| Edited by - H. Humbert on 08/02/2006 19:38:49 |
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H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2006 : 19:42:09 [Permalink]
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Oh, and Gorgeouspil sounds great at first until you find out it saps your libido:
quote:
A person who takes Gorgeouspil likes to concentrate his soul within his own body and does not wish to scatter his soul on to other bodies. So making babies is not desirable for people who take Gorgeouspil.
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"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2006 : 20:02:40 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by H. Humbert
Oh, and Gorgeouspil sounds great at first until you find out it saps your libido:
quote:
A person who takes Gorgeouspil likes to concentrate his soul within his own body and does not wish to scatter his soul on to other bodies. So making babies is not desirable for people who take Gorgeouspil.
That's a wonderful, intended side-effect of the Gorgeouspil, actually. Chiu has taken into account that reproduction in an era of Immortals would vastly overpopulate the earth, and has thus incorporated an anti-soul-scattering ingredient into the pill. Besides, any babies of beautiful Immortals would be disfigured, troglydite mutants.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
| Edited by - HalfMooner on 08/02/2006 20:03:20 |
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Chippewa
SFN Regular
USA
1496 Posts |
Posted - 08/02/2006 : 23:53:04 [Permalink]
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I liked:
quote:
Only Alex Chiu has the solution to a unified world, unless you can think of a better one.
Worthy of Douglas Adams. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2006 : 00:26:16 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Chippewa
I liked:
quote:
Only Alex Chiu has the solution to a unified world, unless you can think of a better one.
Worthy of Douglas Adams.
Well, the unified world is a problem that vexes many people. Cracking something that big takes an evil genius! I'll try to come up with some disunifying ideas myself, but I can't promise anything.
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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furshur
SFN Regular
USA
1536 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2006 : 06:44:48 [Permalink]
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quote:
Kevin Trudeau, the king of American infomercial, highly recommends Alex Chiu's Immortality Devices in his famous book
Well there you go what better recommendation could you get. 
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If I knew then what I know now then I would know more now than I know. |
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Valiant Dancer
Forum Goalie
USA
4826 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2006 : 09:42:51 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by H. Humbert
Oh, and Gorgeouspil sounds great at first until you find out it saps your libido:
quote:
A person who takes Gorgeouspil likes to concentrate his soul within his own body and does not wish to scatter his soul on to other bodies. So making babies is not desirable for people who take Gorgeouspil.
Who wants to lie forever at the expense of nookie?
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Cthulhu/Asmodeus when you're tired of voting for the lesser of two evils
Brother Cutlass of Reasoned Discussion |
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Ricky
SFN Die Hard
USA
4907 Posts |
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BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard
3192 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2006 : 12:20:47 [Permalink]
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Im covered by the Eternal Tabernacle, which just rebuilds my body should it become useless.
Pfft, Immortality Rings, what a joke. |
"...things I have neither seen nor experienced nor heard tell of from anybody else; things, what is more, that do not in fact exist and could not ever exist at all. So my readers must not believe a word I say." -Lucian on his book True History
"...They accept such things on faith alone, without any evidence. So if a fraudulent and cunning person who knows how to take advantage of a situation comes among them, he can make himself rich in a short time." -Lucian critical of early Christians c.166 AD From his book, De Morte Peregrini |
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pleco
SFN Addict
USA
2998 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2006 : 13:54:36 [Permalink]
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| Do you have an extra one of those? |
by Filthy
The neo-con methane machine will soon be running at full fart. |
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HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 08/03/2006 : 15:42:12 [Permalink]
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quote:
Originally posted by Ricky
So is this immortality or simply you won't die from old aging? If it's the former, I want to see Alex Chiu with the rings on, put his head across a railroad track (trucks obviously just aren't enough).
Whoa! That would be an act of terrorism, causuing the derailment of the train!
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“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
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