|
|
|
HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
 Posted - 04/29/2007 : 17:10:03 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Originally posted by Randy
According to the fairy tale, the ark's measurement, taken from the above link, would yield apx. 320,000 square feet of storage space. What's the ballpark number of animal species on good old mother Earth? Something around 15,000,000. That'd give an average of 0.0213 square feet per creature. Course, there's the opposite sex to consider; so, split that 0.0213 square foot of space in half.
Yep, god do work in mysterious ways.
  
No problem there. Noah obviously used modern cryogenics to freeze embryos, and stored them in liquid nitrogen Dewar flasks on his 15th Century Ming Chinese-designed vessel. Do we have to explain every step to the fundies?
|
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
 |
|
|
Orwellingly Yurz
SFN Regular
USA
529 Posts |
Posted - 04/29/2007 : 22:37:02 [Permalink]
|
YO: I don't want to be thought of as cynical, buuuut, all this Noah's Ark Shit youse guys been goin' on about here sounds just like some good ol' bidness planin', as they say down Oklahoma way.
OY |
"The modern conservative...is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy. That is the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness."
--John Kenneth Galbraith
If dogs run free
Then what must be,
Must be...
And that is all
--Bob Dylan
The neo-cons have gotten welfare for themselves down to a fine art.
--me
"The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights."
--J. Paul Getty
"The great thing about Art isn't what it give us, but what we become through it."
--Oscar Wilde
"We have Art in order not to die of life."
--Albert Camus
"I cling like a miser to the freedom I lose when surrounded by an abundance of things."
--Albert Camus
"Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes."
--Oscar Wilde |
|
|
|
filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 01:30:45 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Originally posted by Cuneiformist
Amazingly (or not?), this story is the most emailed article today at CNN...
I note that there is no mention of the steel hull in the CNN article. It might be amusing to to see what the Great Flood folks have to say about it. Will they use it as evidence that the Noah's Ark was not only possible, but the real deal?
Betcha some will...
|
"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist! 
|
|
|
|
JohnOAS
SFN Regular
Australia
800 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 05:50:03 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Originally posted by filthy
I note that steel is not used just for bracing; the whole hull is steel.
quote:
Originally posted by Cuneiformist
Amazingly (or not?), this story is the most emailed article today at CNN...
Amazing that the CNN article doesn't mention steel at all. Who'd've thunk it?
The power of prayer (and lying by omission) is truly amazing. |
John's just this guy, you know. |
|
|
|
BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard
3192 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 06:03:40 [Permalink]
|
One more problem, did Noah also take termites and wood boring beetles?
|
"...things I have neither seen nor experienced nor heard tell of from anybody else; things, what is more, that do not in fact exist and could not ever exist at all. So my readers must not believe a word I say." -Lucian on his book True History
"...They accept such things on faith alone, without any evidence. So if a fraudulent and cunning person who knows how to take advantage of a situation comes among them, he can make himself rich in a short time." -Lucian critical of early Christians c.166 AD From his book, De Morte Peregrini |
|
|
|
filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
 Posted - 04/30/2007 : 06:26:10 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Originally posted by BigPapaSmurf
One more problem, did Noah also take termites and wood boring beetles?
Indeed, and the termite-eating, stump-shredding giant anteaters as well?
Y'know, the creationists make a huge deal out of the Ark carrying dinosaurs. Yet we never hear of the so-called 'megafauna' that came after them.
Surely Megatherium would not have been left behind.
And Smilodon fatalis -- My goodness, but that Ark must have been an exciting place.
|
"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
|
|
|
|
Dave W.
Info Junkie
USA
26020 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 06:51:37 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Originally posted by Randy
Course, there's the opposite sex to consider; so, split that 0.0213 square foot of space in half.
Works out to about 1.5 square inches per animal, on average. The right-hand shift key on this keyboard I'm using takes up about 1.53 square inches. |
- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too. |
|
|
|
HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 15:10:26 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Originally posted by Dave W.
quote:
Originally posted by Randy
Course, there's the opposite sex to consider; so, split that 0.0213 square foot of space in half.
Works out to about 1.5 square inches per animal, on average. The right-hand shift key on this keyboard I'm using takes up about 1.53 square inches.
Well there you have it: Proof that Noah transported frozen embryos.
|
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
|
|
|
Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 15:29:33 [Permalink]
|
| Course too, old nappy ass Noah and his clan would have to be the only carriers of all the ghastly human specific diseases god ever dreamed up. |
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
|
|
|
filthy
SFN Die Hard
USA
14408 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 17:19:08 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Originally posted by Randy
Course too, old nappy ass Noah and his clan would have to be the only carriers of all the ghastly human specific diseases god ever dreamed up.
Not to mention eye and liver flukes, guinea worm, the human flea complete with accompanyingYersina pestis, the bedbug, and other wonderful creatures of interest to parasitologists.
They made people tough in them days....
|
"What luck for rulers that men do not think." -- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
"If only we could impeach on the basis of criminal stupidity, 90% of the Rethuglicans and half of the Democrats would be thrown out of office." ~~ P.Z. Myres
"The default position of human nature is to punch the other guy in the face and take his stuff." ~~ Dude
Brother Boot Knife of Warm Humanitarianism,
and Crypto-Communist!
|
|
|
|
HalfMooner
Dingaling
Philippines
15831 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 17:45:18 [Permalink]
|
Were I a faithful Christian, I would be working hard to show how the Noah myth is a parable, not a history. The Ark is the very last thing I'd be wanting to defend as literally true.
With apologies to Jan and Dean:
Two beasts of every kind
I built a 70-meter barge and we call it a woody
(Myth City, here we come)
You know it's not very chronistic, it's a steelie but a goody
(Myth City, here we come)
Well, it ain't got a rudder or cage for a Dodo
But it still gets me where I wanna go
And we're goin' to Myth City, 'cause it's two of each
You know we're goin' to Myth City, don't forget the leech
Ya, we're goin' to Myth City, 'cause it's two of each
You know we're goin' to Myth City, don't forget the leech
Two beasts of every kind
You see we'll never go to sea 'cause there's nobody rowin'
(Myth City, here we come)
You know they're either out preachin' or they got a church a-growin'
(Myth City, here we come)
Well, with two swingin' beasties of every kind
And all you gotta do is just forget your mind
Ya, we're goin' to Myth City, 'cause it's two of each
You know we're goin' to Myth City, don't forget the leech
Ya, we're goin' to Myth City, 'cause it's two of each
Ya, we're goin' to Myth City, gonna have some fun, now
Two beasts of every kind
And if my woody capsizes on me out on the Wadden
(Myth City, here we come)
I'll strap my Bible to my back and swim to Den Helden
(Myth City, here we come)
And when I get to Myth City I'll be shootin' the bull
And lookin' out for suckers with the brains of a mule
And we're goin' to Myth City, 'cause it's two of each
You know we're goin' to Myth City, don't forget the leech
And we're goin' to Myth City, 'cause it's two of each
You know we're goin' to Myth City, don't forget the leech
Two beasts of every kind
Two beasts of every kind
|
“Biology is just physics that has begun to smell bad.” —HalfMooner
Here's a link to Moonscape News, and one to its Archive. |
|
|
|
ktesibios
SFN Regular
USA
505 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 18:26:43 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Originally posted by Randy
Course too, old nappy ass Noah and his clan would have to be the only carriers of all the ghastly human specific diseases god ever dreamed up.
quote:
originally posted by Mark Twain
Noah and his family were saved -- if that could be called an advantage. I throw in the if for the reason that there has never been an intelligent person of the age of sixty who would consent to live his life over again. His or anyone else's. The Family were saved, yes, but they were not comfortable, for they were full of microbes. Full to the eyebrows; fat with them, obese with them, distended like balloons. It was a disagreeable condition, but it could not be helped, because enough microbes had to be saved to supply the future races of men with desolating diseases, and there were but eight persons on board to serve as hotels for them. The microbes were by far the most important part of the Ark's cargo, and the part the Creator was most anxious about and most infatuated with. They had to have good nourishment and pleasant accommodations. There were typhoid germs, and cholera germs, and hydrophobia germs, and lockjaw germs, and consumption germs, and black-plague germs, and some hundreds of other aristocrats, specially precious creations, golden bearers of God's love to man, blessed gifts of the infatuated Father to his children -- all of which had to be sumptuously housed and richly entertained; these were located in the choicest places the interiors of the Family could furnish: in the lungs, in the heart, in the brain, in the kidneys, in the blood, in the guts. In the guts particularly. The great intestine was the favorite resort. There they gathered, by countless billions, and worked, and fed, and squirmed, and sang hymns of praise and thanksgiving; and at night when it was quiet you could hear the soft murmur of it. The large intestine was in effect their heaven. They stuffed it solid; they made it as rigid as a coil of gaspipe. They took pride in this. Their principal hymn made gratified reference to it:
Constipation, O Constipation,
The Joyful sound proclaim
Till man's remotest entrail
Shall praise its Maker's name
-Letters From the Earth
Somewhere in Twain's ouvre there's also a sketch of an encounter between Noah and a late 19th-century German shipping inspector. I can't remember which book it's in, but it's well worth seeking out and reading. After several pages of the inspector checking off all of the things Noah would have to do to make the Ark seaworthy, e.g.
"Who is the captain?"
"I am."
"You must get a captain."
Twain concludes that while the inspector would be infinitely courteous, unfailingly pleasant and would make Noah feel that he was among friends-
"He wouldn't let him go to sea in that Ark."
|
"The Republican agenda is to turn the United States into a third-world shithole." -P.Z.Myers |
|
|
|
H. Humbert
SFN Die Hard
USA
4574 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 19:04:15 [Permalink]
|
No word yet on whether Huibers was called in as a consultant for this upcoming film.
|
"A man is his own easiest dupe, for what he wishes to be true he generally believes to be true." --Demosthenes
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool." --Richard P. Feynman
"Face facts with dignity." --found inside a fortune cookie |
|
|
|
Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 19:26:46 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Originally posted by HalfMooner
Well there you have it: Proof that Noah transported frozen embryos.
Out in left field here...Hey, hey....free handouts on the dock -- git 'em while you can -- frozen embryos on a stick. |
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
|
|
|
Randy
SFN Regular
USA
1990 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2007 : 19:40:14 [Permalink]
|
quote:
Originally posted by filthy
quote:
Originally posted by Randy
Course too, old nappy ass Noah and his clan would have to be the only carriers of all the ghastly human specific diseases god ever dreamed up.
Not to mention eye and liver flukes, guinea worm, the human flea complete with accompanyingYersina pestis, the bedbug, and other wonderful creatures of interest to parasitologists.
They made people tough in them days....
No doubt the Ark Riders could be seen as a gathering of holy bloated motherfuckers....pumped full of the, praise the lard, godly designed infections/afflictions like aids, herpes, all the cancers....http://www.mic.ki.se/Diseases/Alphalist.html ; can't forget the plethora of mental illness/phobias
http://www.phobialist.com/#A-
What else am I leaving out?
|
"We are all connected; to each other biologically, to the earth chemically, to the rest of the universe atomically."
"So you're made of detritus [from exploded stars]. Get over it. Or better yet, celebrate it. After all, what nobler thought can one cherish than that the universe lives within us all?"
-Neil DeGrasse Tyson |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
Dutch Ark set to launch
