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chaloobi
SFN Regular

1620 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  06:32:47  Show Profile  Send chaloobi a Yahoo! Message Send chaloobi a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Last Monday my wife was entertaining clients at the Bruce Springstein concert in Detroit and there being an extra ticket I got to go. Her company rented a suite and there was opportunity to talk with some the clients & spouses. One of the spouses was very chatty and she talked about her extended education, how she teaches at UofM, how she's a board member of a number of community service type organizations and how she home schools her daughter who is in kindergarten. She complained a little about how overloaded she was and then said something like 'but this is what god wants me to do, so I'll keep at it. When god wants me to let some of this go I will, but for now he's chosen this for me.'

She being a client's spouse and me being the polite person I am I smiled and nodded. But inside my skin crawled a bit.

In principle I don't have a problem with people's religious beliefs. But I personally don't happen to believe god is mapping out any people's lives. To an extent I think people use such ideas to rationalize away responsibility for their choices. On the positive side, perhaps it's effective motivation for them to achieve more than they might otherwise. Probably lots of people believe this type of thing to varying degrees but you never know because they have the good taste not to talk about it.

And that's what left me thinking . This matter of fact announcement that god was burdening her with all this as a social faux pas. Why would she say that? Is she making excuses for her overloaded life? Is she assuming I'm of the Faithful and I'd nod knowingly? Is she inviting (or challenging me) to talk god stuff with her? Why isn't she concerned she might seem a loon? Is it simply brain to mouth - she doesn't think at all about the reaction of others to what she says?

BTW - if you're a big Bruce Springstein fan you might like the concert. But he didn't play any of his old stuff until the very end when he did Born to Run and Dancing in the Dark. The only other song I recognized was Tunnel of Love, which I hate, and Raido Nowhere, his new single which I'd only heard once on the radio and turned off after a few seconds. I was extremely disappointed - time wasted.

-Chaloobi

pleco
SFN Addict

USA
2998 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  07:44:51   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit pleco's Homepage Send pleco a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by chaloobi

Is she making excuses for her overloaded life? Is she assuming I'm of the Faithful and I'd nod knowingly? Is she inviting (or challenging me) to talk god stuff with her? Why isn't she concerned she might seem a loon? Is it simply brain to mouth - she doesn't think at all about the reaction of others to what she says?


I think it is all of the above. Some of it consciously, some of it unconsciously. I especially think that these types drop in the key words to look for fellow believers. If they can find one, they feel a lot more comfortable in an unknown situation.

by Filthy
The neo-con methane machine will soon be running at full fart.
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BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard

3192 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  07:59:34   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send BigPapaSmurf a Private Message  Reply with Quote
This is the type of thing that needs to be handled carefully, you should statr with "so you dont believe that God gave you free will?" idea and move to the "so God is deciding the fate of evil people as well?" sort of thing...

"...things I have neither seen nor experienced nor heard tell of from anybody else; things, what is more, that do not in fact exist and could not ever exist at all. So my readers must not believe a word I say." -Lucian on his book True History

"...They accept such things on faith alone, without any evidence. So if a fraudulent and cunning person who knows how to take advantage of a situation comes among them, he can make himself rich in a short time." -Lucian critical of early Christians c.166 AD From his book, De Morte Peregrini
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Gorgo
SFN Die Hard

USA
5310 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  08:53:41   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Gorgo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I'm told that in Arab countries, people have to insert the word Allah into about every sentence, Allah be praised, to the extent that it doesn't really mean anything. I think some of this god talk in this country approaches those kinds of proprortions, like "God Bless You."

I asked a guy I worked with if he really had the power to tell God to do things like that, to bless people and things. He scowled at me and we went on with our day. You're not supposed to ask questions about gods I guess.

My first wife and I won tickets to a Springsteen concert several years ago. It came with a limo ride. We didn't know that the local DJ's would also ride in the limo with us. I didn't know they also won the contest.

As far as the concert, that's when we learned that people no longer went to concerts to see the star, they went to the concert to sing and get drunk and dance in front of people who'd rather not stand for the whole concert to see the performers. The DJ's at least didn't sit with us.

After we dropped the DJ's off on the way home my wife and I figured we'd have the back of the limo to ourselves, but the driver talked non-stop. When he closed the window between us, that shut off the air conditioning, so we made the choice to suffer his blather rather than die of heat exhaustion. Another fond memory. Oh, and he complained to us loudly that the DJ's didn't tip him. Guess who else didn't?

I know the rent is in arrears
The dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears
But it's alright-
Jerry Garcia
Robert Hunter



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Dude
SFN Die Hard

USA
6891 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  10:00:30   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Dude a Private Message  Reply with Quote
In a social/buisiness context, its probably best to let the god-botherers blather. If they ask you a specific question just tell them that you prefer not to discuss religious matters or politics in polite company. That'll usually shut them up.


Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong.
-- Thomas Jefferson

"god :: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument." - G. Carlin

Hope, n.
The handmaiden of desperation; the opiate of despair; the illegible signpost on the road to perdition. ~~ da filth
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chaloobi
SFN Regular

1620 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  10:35:54   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send chaloobi a Yahoo! Message Send chaloobi a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Dude

In a social/buisiness context, its probably best to let the god-botherers blather. If they ask you a specific question just tell them that you prefer not to discuss religious matters or politics in polite company. That'll usually shut them up.
Oh I'd never discuss religion with my wife's clients. She'd kill me if I did, mostly because my ideas are far from mainstream midwest Americana. Sales is all about keeping the client happy, comfy, well fed and watered. Tell them you think the idea that god is choosing their career for them is absurd and you're likely to lose revenue.

-Chaloobi

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chaloobi
SFN Regular

1620 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  10:37:15   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send chaloobi a Yahoo! Message Send chaloobi a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by BigPapaSmurf

This is the type of thing that needs to be handled carefully, you should statr with "so you dont believe that God gave you free will?" idea and move to the "so God is deciding the fate of evil people as well?" sort of thing...
No no no. This has to be handled more than carefully. Smile and nod. Smile and nod.

-Chaloobi

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chaloobi
SFN Regular

1620 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  10:39:19   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send chaloobi a Yahoo! Message Send chaloobi a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Gorgo
As far as the concert, <snip> Guess who else didn't?
But did you actually know the songs he was playing? That's my chief complaint. I don't care to hear all the stuff he's recorded that he can't get radio to play.

Funny thing - the woman whose life is directed by what god wants for her also has no rythm. She was dancing and clapping along to the songs and even I could tell she was off beat (ie she was really off beat). I wonder if that has something to do with the god thing.

-Chaloobi

Edited by - chaloobi on 11/09/2007 10:40:46
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Gorgo
SFN Die Hard

USA
5310 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  10:45:48   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send Gorgo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by chaloobi

Originally posted by Gorgo
As far as the concert, <snip> Guess who else didn't?
But did you actually know the songs he was playing? That's my chief complaint. I don't care to hear all the stuff he's recorded that he can't get radio to play.

Funny thing - the woman whose life is directed by what god wants for her also has no rythm. She was dancing and clapping along to the songs and even I could tell she was off beat (ie she was really off beat). I wonder if that has something to do with the god thing.


This was probably 15 years ago. We weren't big fans, but we liked his big hits and at that point it was all just noise.

As far as rhythm, I think it depends on the god. Al Green's god seems to have given him rhythm.

I know the rent is in arrears
The dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears
But it's alright-
Jerry Garcia
Robert Hunter



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BigPapaSmurf
SFN Die Hard

3192 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  10:50:59   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send BigPapaSmurf a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Screw that, Why should we have to eat our feet why they blather away, stupid business contacts.

"...things I have neither seen nor experienced nor heard tell of from anybody else; things, what is more, that do not in fact exist and could not ever exist at all. So my readers must not believe a word I say." -Lucian on his book True History

"...They accept such things on faith alone, without any evidence. So if a fraudulent and cunning person who knows how to take advantage of a situation comes among them, he can make himself rich in a short time." -Lucian critical of early Christians c.166 AD From his book, De Morte Peregrini
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chaloobi
SFN Regular

1620 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  13:27:39   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send chaloobi a Yahoo! Message Send chaloobi a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by BigPapaSmurf

Screw that, Why should we have to eat our feet why they blather away, stupid business contacts.
There's a couple of whys there....

First, the sales revenue hits my wife's annual budget which determines here monthly commission which pays my bills. That is, holding my tongue could literally affect my household bottom line.

Second, because she won't bring me along anymore if I piss off her clients. And free concerts in suites with the accompanying food and drink is pretty cool.

Third, it literally wouldn't matter if I said something. I can't change her beliefs. Heck, I don't want to change her so long as she's minding her own business with her beliefs. The only problem I have with the Faithful is when they start trying to make laws based on their Faith. Otherwise, I don't care what they think.

So in this situation I have little to gain and lots to lose. No brainer: Smile and nod then find an opening to excuse yourself for less conversation.

-Chaloobi

Edited by - chaloobi on 11/09/2007 13:28:10
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Dave W.
Info Junkie

USA
26020 Posts

Posted - 11/09/2007 :  13:47:01   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Visit Dave W.'s Homepage Send Dave W. a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by chaloobi

Funny thing - the woman whose life is directed by what god wants for her also has no rythm. She was dancing and clapping along to the songs and even I could tell she was off beat (ie she was really off beat). I wonder if that has something to do with the god thing.
Hopefully better than Elaine, though?

- Dave W. (Private Msg, EMail)
Evidently, I rock!
Why not question something for a change?
Visit Dave's Psoriasis Info, too.
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chaloobi
SFN Regular

1620 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2007 :  07:08:27   [Permalink]  Show Profile  Send chaloobi a Yahoo! Message Send chaloobi a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Dave W.

Originally posted by chaloobi

Funny thing - the woman whose life is directed by what god wants for her also has no rythm. She was dancing and clapping along to the songs and even I could tell she was off beat (ie she was really off beat). I wonder if that has something to do with the god thing.
Hopefully better than Elaine, though?
Sweet fancy Moses!

Take the exaggeration out of that scene and it was similar, though she wasn't putting herself at the center of attention.

-Chaloobi

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moakley
SFN Regular

USA
1888 Posts

Posted - 11/10/2007 :  11:46:44   [Permalink]  Show Profile Send moakley a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by BigPapaSmurf

This is the type of thing that needs to be handled carefully, you should statr with "so you dont believe that God gave you free will?" idea and move to the "so God is deciding the fate of evil people as well?" sort of thing...
emphasis added.

Though I understand the situation and the need to remain quiet, this is actually the first thought that occurred to me when I read this, as well.
'but this is what god wants me to do, so I'll keep at it. When god wants me to let some of this go I will, but for now he's chosen this for me.'
Proclaiming "God is great", while detonating a vest of explosives in an crowd of strangers. That too is what God wanted him/her to do.

It seems reasonable to take a line of wishful thinking to its ugly conclusion. But that's not terribly consoling or useful for faith maintenance.

Life is good

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. -Anonymous
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