Dear Steve:
Oh, my! It looks like I spoke too soon. I learned that the Federal Trade Commission has filed a lawsuit against you for your involvement in those Enforma infomercials. Bummer, man! I bet you were shocked to learn that the “nutritionist” on those very same infomercials was an actress and not a nutritionist at all. This “nutritionist,” Lark Larson (aka Kendall Carson), has settled a suit filed against her by the FTC. She has agreed to surrender her talent fee and accepted an order not to “misrepresent her professional status” or repeat claims she made about Enforma.
Steve, this is serious. After what they did to Ms. Larson, I suppose they could ask you to not misrepresent your professional status as an ex-baseball player. Where would you be then?
I’ll tell you.
You will be signing baseballs for the rest of your life on QVC. On the other hand, you could always run for office. If the Enforma ordeal has taught us anything, it’s that you might have a talent for getting people to believe the unbelievable. That talent could be an asset in politics. I’m not suggesting, of course, that you would lie in order to get elected, but let’s face it — in politics you wouldn’t have the FTC breathing down your neck. The tricky part, as I see it, would be convincing people that you were duped into hawking the Enforma products. But how hard can that be? Clinton didn’t inhale. Remember that?
I’m sure your management company will get you the best lawyers available since they have been named in the suit, too. Maybe you could put together some kind of “dream team” to beat the rap. If memory serves, I do believe a dream team got another ex-athlete’s ass out of a sling. Whatever they do, though, don’t let them play the race card. It might backfire this time.
However you decide to handle this matter, I’m sure the integrity you have shown in the past will be your greatest asset…
David Glück
Skeptic Friends Network
For more information:
www.ftc.gov
www.ftc.gov/opa/2000/09/garveyrelease.htm
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